Tuesday's Child is All Hopped Up on Caffeine

I'm filling in a few days in the next few weeks for my partner librarian at my Monday school who is overseas for two family weddings. I was totally cool with this even though it meant a long day on Tuesday which is usually my day off. I wore a super comfortable t-shirt dress and my running shoes. I packed two little fans instead of one. I never drink pop at school but I put in a Diet Pepsi for an afternoon boost. I went to bed early to read and get a good night's sleep. I didn't take anything because Monday was my early day and I thought I'd be tired enough.

Did I then have the absolute wretchedest, brokenest, vexingest, stupidest, coughingest, hot-flashingest sleep (such as it was) EVER? Why yes, yes I did. For my afternoon boost I should have packed COCAINE.

The day was actually totally fine and fun and satisfying. I had a ton of classes so it went by fast, they were all kind of grooving on the novelty of having a different librarian, three girls said they loved my hair and one said she liked my dress. One girl who had forgotten her books offered to organize returned books on the carts for me. I said sure and thanked her, and she seemed so capable and confident I assumed they'd all be perfectly sorted, and then when I looked, they were all very carefully placed, but half of them were facing page out instead of spine and their placement bore no relation to the labels on the cart shelves. I wasn't upset at all, just amused at her self assuredness. 

I saw quite a few students - and some teachers - that I used to see in the library way back pre-Covid, all so much bigger now (the students, not the teachers) and some of them actually remembered me, which was very cool. 

Oh, about the pill set-up. First of all, I neglected to mention one of my very favourite parts of the embarrassingness of my system. It's that pills frequently get dropped on the floor, and then either I or my cleaning lady find them and put them on top of the armoire or in the little pill pocket of this bin (that's what it's for, right?). Then I use the very scientific method of putting it beside one of all my other meds to figure out what it is, if it's blank, like most of them are just to keep things exciting. 

BUT, I was hoping that finally blogging about the whole hilarious mess would prompt me to make some changes and it DID, which is shocking now that I think about it. My friend Jody (HI JODY) came over that night to watch Dead to Me but first she stood over me until I bought pill organizers because she's a good friend. They won't be here for a couple of weeks, so I cleaned out the CDs, straightened up the books (there's only so much I can do, there are too many books) and filled my utilitarian travel pill organizer, and immediately felt better about the whole thing. 

Last night while I was in bed reading and being blissfully unaware of the idiotic shit-show that the night would become, my ipad served up one of those little picture slideshows it likes to generate, mostly for purposes of reducing me to a sobbing mess. Look what it presented me with, mere hours after my daughter was parted from her soulmates: (Will it work? I suck at technology. I need my assertive fifth-grade queen to help, or at least pretend do)


I texted it to everyone with the caption "fucks sake, Ipad, read the room". I say if it's going to pull this bullshit, it might as well literally play Landslide over it and also Amazon me some tissues and vodka at the same time. 

Going upstairs to drug myself (from my scrupulously organized array of medications) to sleep. Because tomorrow is a Scholastic Book Fair viewing day and I have to be at the top of my game. 

Comments

Sarah said…
Scholastic book fair viewing day is a SHIT SHOW as I know from my time in the elementary school PTO. Godspeed!

(So much of this post was hilarious— the self-assured book organizer, the cocaine pick-me-up, your entire pill situation, which is also relatable because we have an entire kitchen cabinet devoted to our various pharmaceuticals and stuff falls out SO DANGEROUSLY every time we open it)
Nicole said…
OMG THE BOOK FAIR!!!
Look at that organization! Beautiful!
The pill thing makes me nervous - I guess Lucy is not an eater of pills? Rex is good that way but Barkley would have somehow hoovered them up.
Those slideshows!!! Awww.
Ernie said…
Between your need to switch from pop to cocaine, or Pepsi to Coke, wink, wink, and your little library 'helper' and the upcoming book fair (I have no experience with that, but I have an imagination and woe, my head is spinning just thinking about it) . . . this post was so funny.

Read the room, indeed. That was SUCH a sweet slideshow, so on one hand well done ipad, but oh my gosh, the timing.
NGS said…
The book fair! So many memories! So many books!

If pills drop in our house, the cat plays with them for significant periods of time. Honestly, the cat is the main reason I stay on top of the floors because she will play with or eat anything that's on the floor. She single-pawedly reminds me that I am a terrible housekeeper on a daily basis.
D said…
YOUR HAIR IS FABBALOUS!
Busy Bee Suz said…
You look so great, and that's you on Pepsi; Imagine Cocaine?! 😜No, I'm not pushing for you to do hard drugs. I promise!
Can you imagine having so much self-assuredness when you really haven't a clue? I want to be like her in my next life.
The video is so cute; what a lovely bunch of girls!

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