It Is Always My Intention to Make You Laugh

My body and brain are still doing weird shit. Both my sciatic nerves feel inflamed, but in a surface, neuralgia-type of way, so stretching doesn't really help and it hurts to sit down. I had this happen once before, but it was when Matt had come home from a week away, when it's not unusual for my body to engage in some weird-ass immune-response bullshit. Matt is away now, but I've been having a lovely long week-end with Matt and Eve and girlfriends, so I'm not sure what the deal is, but it's less than ideal.

Valentine's Day, right? What a fraught minefield. There were years when I had a boyfriend and everything was deliriously romantic. There were years when I had a husband and everything was deliriously romantic. There were years when I had a husband and we did nothing and I was angry, not that we did nothing but that we didn't discuss doing nothing first. There were years when we did nothing and I was fine with it. The year Angus was two, we got an amazing…

Not-Quite-Surly Not-Quite-Thursday

February, man. It's almost worse than January, because January is this big suckhole after December, which is exhausting but also fun and rewarding, and then you get out of January and you lift up your head and look around hopefully, just to get smacked in the head with Fucking February. The whole stupid WORD February doesn't even make any goddamned sense. Almost everyone says Feb-you-ary. I really try to say words correctly (it's NUCLEAR, people, NOT NUCULAR), but I feel like a douche saying Feb-roo-ary. Okay, I just tested it, never mind, I never say it correctly.  You know how sometimes you have to just be okay not being okay for a while? I was feeling pretty good about seeing January out without too much emotional drama, and then my uterus caught fire and I was unable to sleep or walk or find a position that didn't hurt for a couple of days, and then it went away, but at this time of year it's way too easy for something physically bad to tip me over into somethin…

Surly Thursday, Mind and Body Edition

Sometimes I have to save up my surliness for today, which I have a little, but honestly I could probably peg the whole post on the fact that (TMI ALERT), a year and a month after I got my giant fibroid removed and my uterus scorched, guess whose door Aunt Flo started knocking on last night?? FUCK OFF AUNT FLO, NOBODY INVITED YOU. The bleeding isn't bad so far, but the abdominal pain is horrific - I thought I was dying last night. Then I realized what was going on and was immediately nostalgic for five minutes ago when I was dying. I had deleted Pink Pad off my phone! I had traveled care-free! I had not gotten rid of all supplies because I'm not a complete idiot (ha, that's a total lie, I meant to, I was just too lazy). 

I've done some reading and I can't really figure out if this is just how it goes sometimes or if I'm actually dying. I guess I'll go to the doctor. For now I'm just bitching and swearing a lot.

We were in Thunder Bay visiting Matt's mo…

Books Read in 2019: Books That I Inexplicably Forgot to Post About Because I Am An IDIOT

I was idly scanning one of my book review posts and suddenly realized that I didn't remember posting a review of The Institute by Stephen King. I thought maybe I did it on auto-pilot, but then I worried that I posted the title and synopsis but not my review. I went through all my four-star review posts and... not there. I was baffled. I was bemused. I went to Goodreads and called up my stats and looked at the rows of book covers and saw a few other books that I didn't remember reviewing. I gritted my teeth and went through all the posts counting the books I had reviewed and did the math add up? READER, IT DID NOT. I was befuddled. I was bewildered.

So now what do I do? Pretend it didn't happen? I fear I am too much of a completist for that. Just sneak the missing titles into the posts? I could - let's face it, I feel like we're all a little weary and ready to move on from Allison's Book Review Posts at this point. I can't quite make myself do it, though - t…

Books Read in 2019: Five-Star Fiction, Non-Fiction and Short Stories

Monday mornings are always a little painful because I stay up way too late and never sleep well and Monday is my early work day. It's a bit of a pleasant surprise, though, that they're only a little painful. I don't love dragging myself out of bed, but by the time I'm in the library booting up my computer I am perfectly happy to be there. I don't have any classes I don't like, but my favourite on Monday is the last of the day, which is nice because I always go out on a good note. The kids are engaged and ask about books a lot and are very sweet and grateful. Everyone has trouble pronouncing my name, which is both weird and not when I look at it, and this teacher has made her students practice it until they say thank-you perfectly.

Also, if you want to feel powerful and work in a kids' library? Choose books to face out at the end of the shelves. It's like they can't resist anything with a full cover showing. Almost every single book I face out will b…

Books Read in 2019: Five-Star Fantasy and Magic Realism

I meant to have this up sooner, but I got it ninety-five percent done and then stalled. My daughter is having anxiety-related insomnia and stomach issues and I'm having perimenopause-related insomnia, and sometimes they overlap, but even if they don't I don't feel good going to bed when she's awake, so I... am tired. I actually forgot the dog in the car for an uncomfortable number of minutes after picking her up at my mom and dad's after work today - happily she's not holding a grudge. 

My husband was due to leave for San Diego on Saturday, just as our twenty centimetres of snow started falling, which is par for the freaking course most of the time. Fate intervened on my behalf and delayed his flight until Sunday - he left for the airport just after the plow finally went by and he shoveled the plow ridge. Looks like my sacrifices to the snow gods paid off - *furtively hides chicken guts under pizza box*. 

Monday the elementary teachers were on strike, so the elem…