Posts

So Meta

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 When Nicole (HI NICOLE) mentioned that her blog host was dumping smaller blogs and she had to find a new one, it reminded me of that time a few years ago when my blog got hacked and every time anyone entered the URL it sent them to some Russian art selling website. I had given passing thought to figuring out how to save blog posts before that - I knew that even though it seems like anything you put on the internet can be permanent when it might destroy your life, if it's something you actually want to have access to forever you can't necessarily count on it always being there. Anyway, it was a horrible feeling not being able to get to my blog. I went to the Blogger help forums and actually figured out how to find the bad code and erase it - I still can't actually believe it worked. Thank goodness it happened before perimenopause, because if the same thing happened now I think I'd just cry for a week and let it all go. Wait, no, I'd cry for a week, make my husband

The Way I Feel is Like a Robin

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 I guess I'll just say a bunch of random stuff because I keep sitting down trying to write a post about.... something....anything..... and failing. It's been decided that in the fall Eve is going to McMaster University in Hamilton, Ontario, about four and a half hours away. She was accepted into the Arts and Science Program, which is really cool - limited-enrollment, interdisciplinary, emphasis on social awareness and developing transferable skills. Matt and I both went to McMaster, and we had friends in the program, and Matt's brother later went into it. Matt encouraged Eve to apply while I was sort of hoping she would go to McGill in Montreal, two hours away in a cool city with her friend Davis. Davis's mom and I (HI JODY) have become really good friends and I had visions of excellent Montreal adventures with and without our daughters. Plus if she was homesick or anything bad happened I would only be two hours away. Well, things didn't so much go my way on this. M

Whine and Cheese

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 I cannot promise greatness today. Or goodness. Or general coherence. I have been going through my blog posts from the first one in January 2009 and noticing how much I talk about coughing and lack of sleep. Since I was diagnosed with sleep apnea which they think started in my adolescence but wasn't diagnosed until I was in my forties, I'm happy to observe and report and remind myself to feel grateful about the fact that I cough less. Something about my airways being chronically inflamed because of all the gasping desperately for oxygen, I presume. It would be really awesome if I could report that the sleep apnea treatment had solved all my problems with, you know, SLEEP, but not so much. To be fair, going up against the perimenopause and Covid anxiety twofer is a tall order. But even before, I was never one of the poster children for a CPAP being a lifechanging miracle. That's okay, I don't require a lifechanging miracle. The CPAP was helping, until I hit perimenopause

So Something Really Cool Happened

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 So in this post , this woman named Shawna followed a link to my blog from Swistle's (everyone knows Swistle, right? If not, absolutely just ditch my blog right now and go to Swistle's if you haven't, she's awesome, big, big fan). And then was surprised and amused to find out that we live in the same Ottawa suburb. That was cool. So on Tuesday I went to the chiropractor and then got groceries. I was grumpy. I was wearing a cloth mask after weeks of wearing nothing but medical ones because my chiropractor is fully vaccinated and I wasn't going to be close to anyone else and I like the smell of the dish soap I boil the cloth masks in and I hate the smell of the medical masks, but everything still smelled bad and I hadn't slept well and we're in lockdown and all I want to do is sleep but I do it badly, and you know the drill. Anyway, I got my groceries and I was loading them into my car, probably wearing a textbook example of Resting Bitch Face, and from the c

Backsliding

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I know I said I was done with the wallowing. I gave my head a shake! I got some perspective! I was ready to move forward!  I am not ready to move forward. Well, I am in theory, but I am just lacking the bodily resources to make it happen. Last night I slept like I had been drugged or cursed by a poisoned wagon wheel. Wait, that's not right. Spinning wheel. Eve said she feels the same, so maybe it's just the weather. Pam and I went for a great walk last Thursday and declared that we would do the same at least once a week. The following Wednesday I looked at the weather and said "oh great, it's supposed to rain for the next six...seven...NINE DAYS?" Saturday and Sunday were sunny and cold and then warmer. I hate when people on social media tell me to go outside because it's beautiful, but I did, in fact, force myself to go outside and do the stupid little walk for my stupid mental health. Saturday I got Eve to go with me, and Sunday Matt and I walked over to my

Enough of That Crap

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 I'm not going to delete the previous post, but around 1 a.m. last night while I was reading I stopped and gave my head a literal shake. There's nothing that wrong with needing a couple of days to wallow, but I do try to stay aware of my privilege and my perspective on that had slipped a bit. Like a lot of people I know, I want to get the vaccine and get our cases down so things can get back to something approaching normal. No one I'm close to has died of Covid or even been really sick with it. My kids have lost out on some important senior year and university experiences, but they're healthy and safe. I can stay home most of the time right now. And people in the rest of the world and literally in my province are sick and dying and terrified. I still have it pretty fucking good, and it's time to start acting like it. Because there's nothing I can really do for those other people other than stay home and not be an asshole not be the kind of asshole that breaks t

Surly Thursday, Not the Funny Kind

 Not gonna lie, things have gone to shit around here somewhat. I had a funny Surly Thursday post lined up for before our April Break (postponed from March) and then our Covid cases went through the roof and both my school and Eve's which had had very few cases were suddenly turning up positives every couple of days and I was working in the office which means cradling a lot of sweaty heads and catching a lot of nose blood, and I was feeling both anxious and guilty for feeling anxious when I was still in a pretty low-risk position. I was booked to work the last three days before the break in the office and I toyed with not going in, because quite honestly as a sub they don't pay me nearly enough to take that kind of risk, or to sit in sweltering PPE in the isolation room with a kid who has an upset stomach and needs to be isolated until a parent can pick them and all their siblings up. But I didn't want to leave the school short-handed, so I went in and it was okay, and then