Showing posts from April, 2013

Birthdays, balls and me not having my shit together. So, business as usual.

Why do I even bother putting stuff in draft form? Every time I'm stuck for a blog post I look at the drafts folder and everything there is as useful as tits on a bull. Once I saw Teri Garr on Letterman and she said she always writes things down on cue cards so when she goes on talk shows she'll have witty comments ready, and then right before she goes on she looks at them and they say things like "Khadafi goes to Moscow. Chicken on a stick". That's how it goes with me and draft posts. Both my kids have birthdays at the beginning of a month. Since they were actually born on those days, at the beginning of those months, one could argue that it's been happening this way for as long as I've known them, and one would be indisputably correct. One might wonder why, then, I never realize that I have to get my ass in gear for birthday-party-type preparations not too late in the month BEFORE the aforementioned birthday months, if we don't want to be scrambling

Face your fears. Or, you know, run away and hide from them like a total pussy.

A couple of weeks ago a group of us went high-speed go-karting for my friend Collette's birthday. I love Collette, because she is smart and funny and completely honest - not honest for the sake of being mean, but honest enough that she won't spare your feelings if she thinks you need to know something about yourself or your kids or her neighbours who should really close the blinds more often than they do. And she accepts honesty in return. She's also a really great cook, accepts my book recommendations with alacrity and keeps her weed in a Benefibre container (isn't that adorable?) And she's tough and hard to embarrass and willing to try almost anything once. I find myself trying new things because of her - remember when I went ziplining ? That was her idea. Tubing ? Arranged by Collette. I'm pretty sure she was the impetus for our Eastern Canada trek in summer 2009 - four families, two provinces, cooking lobster over a campfire and wading the tidal flats at H

Mondays on the Margins: Words and Friends

I don't play Angry Birds. Or Fruit Ninja. Or Zombies vs. Watermelons or whatever. My ipad has tons of game apps on it because of my kids, but it's just not something that activates my pleasure centers. When I'm stuck waiting for my kids in the car or outside dance class I generally read or, if I don't have a book, clean out my purse or something - my phone doesn't even have games, or the internet. But every now and then I get hooked on a word game on Facebook. The one where you use the letters to make up as many words as possible, or the other one where you... uh, do the same thing but in a grid? I was addicted to these for a while but it was a long time ago, they sort of catch fire for a bit and then everyone moves on. But I kept hearing about Words With Friends, and I kept thinking hey! I like words! I like friends! I really need to check this game out sometime. So this past week-end I became probably the last person in the Western World to start playing Words

So, it's Friday

This week has kind of sucked. No, really. I'd like to pretend that I'm more, I don't know, noble or sensitive or exquisitely attuned to the suffering of the world than I actually am, and claim that I've been struggling this week solely because of horrific things that have happened to other people, but that would be a lie, and I've sworn to myself that I will never lie to you unless you ask me how much I weigh or whether I still watch Grey's Anatomy. I think it's just my old stupid seasonal transition difficulties. I didn't have a very busy week, so I thought I should either tackle a satisfying project or two that I had been putting off or engage in some hardcore goofing-off - watching movies all day, or reading a whole book while the kids were at school, or something. Instead every day was just a total non-starter. I couldn't settle to anything - I didn't even manage to wallow slothfully with anything you'd call success. I walked on the

Mondays on the Margins: Rape Culture - We're All Soaking In It

I don't want to talk about it. I don't know what to say about it. People are sick of hearing about it. I feel small and cowardly when I don't talk about it. Some people I know have already said things about it. Hannah did a good from the heart post . Bon did a good from the brain post , which I like to think of as the "it's not that we don't see your side, it's just that your side is whiny and entitled and suckholish - here's why" post. Rehtaeh Parson's father did a post that will rip your heart out, and a while before, this post by Hannah's friend Carol about Amanda Todd really made an impression on me. I'm going to come at this through books, since that's kind of what I do. In 2010, I read a book called I Don't: A Contrarian History of Marriage by Susan Squire. Reading it was one of those a-ha moments that you have about something where you've kind of been peripherally aware of something but suddenly it hits home wi

Things that Almost Never Happen when We're Not in Alberta

We hardly ever get to find Easter eggs beside Oligocene cats. We almost never hike through badlands. We almost never face the horror of... An UNINTERPRETED TRAIL!!! (Just imagine! You see a squirrel or a tuft of grass - but WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!) We almost never climb the inside of a T-Rex... ...and have a picture taken inside its mouth. We hardly ever stand on a hoodoo. We almost never pull up to a Buffalo Jump and find my sister-in-law nearly hanging off the snow ledge that sits many many metres above the valley below... order to rescue her son's boot which was trapped in the deep snow on the ledge. (Eve's teacher emailed me the day after we got back and said Eve had been entertaining them all with stories about our trip. When she came home she said she had to yell to be heard over their laughter. I said, what did you tell them about, the airplane? She said, cheerfully, "that, and Timothy almost falling off the

Mondays on the Margins: Parenting Illustrated With Crappy Pictures by Amber Dusick OR I TOTALLY Knew Her When

I met Amber Dusick (virtually) when she was still Wood Mouse . I think I met her through this other Amber , and sometimes on my blog I would get double Amber comments. That was cool. Sometimes Amber Dusick makes stuff. I have a little house that she made. That's cool too. Then she made something else. A funny blog post with hastily-drawn pictures. And people really, really liked that blog post. And then I was suddenly in that position where someone you sort of know gets really famous really quickly, and you'd hate them if they weren't so freaking nice and talented and richly deserving of all of it. And then she emailed me and said I was on her "send a book to this awesome person" list and ASKED if she could send me a copy of her book to review. Objectively, of course. So now that I've made this all about ME..... you really need to read this book. And then share it with all your friends who are parents. Buy it for a baby shower gift. Pass it around

Getting There

So we were flying to Calgary on Thursday. There was no connecting flight, so we were flying to Toronto first. Everything was going swimmingly - we got to the airport, got a primo parking place, checked our bags, got boarding passes, went through security, hung out in the lounge for a bit and then went down to the gate. As soon as we got to the gate, they started boarding us - we didn't even have to sit down. Matt said that was like winning airport bingo. We got on the plane. It was quick, of course. Just as we were touching down in Toronto, Eve said "this is my best flying day ever!" We shushed her. But it was too late. As we were boarding a flight to Calgary, we walked past a young man in a wheelchair who looked kind of out of it. After we sat down in our seats - in aisle 17 - we saw the young man being helped up the airplane aisle by a flight attendant. When I say 'helped' up the aisle, she wasn't just holding his arm - she was holding him from beh

Hello lovely people

So, we flew away. We had some adventures, we hugged some people, we saw some stuff, we had some laughs. Right now I am in love with being home. I love my bed, in my bedroom, which is attached to a bathroom that only I use. Right now I'm just enjoying being able to walk around with bottles of liquid - more than 80 millilitres if I feel like it - from room to room or floor to floor or ANY DAMN WHERE I PLEASE. And scissors. I love scissors. And being able to get a drink of water should the whim strike me. But I miss the people. And four days of Angus having no access to video games was kind of nice. He's smart! And funny! Who knew? Well I did, but it was nice to have it re-confirmed. I will tell you some stories about some things that happened. Such as why Eve gets the spirit award. And why my family will be polling members of our future flights on their recent medical experiences. Tomorrow.