I'm Sick

 Seriously you guys, I am SO SICK, and I have been stupidly engaging in presenteeism even though I am STRONGLY DISAPPROVING when other people do it. It's not because I think I owe anything to the school board (oh my goodness I do not). It's not because I have delusions of grandeur about how important my job is - wait, maybe I do, because at some of my schools my classes have already missed two weeks of library because of EQAO (which necessitated students writing exams in the library), and it's almost the end of the year, which means most of the librarians are closing the library to circulation soon if not now, and I really didn't want to make them miss one of the last library periods. 

Also, and I am putting myself out there so try to be kind, I have realized that there is a dumb little part of people-pleasing oldest-child self that always suspects that if I call in sick people think I'm faking, so it's a tiny bit gratifying to go in and have people say oh my GOD, you sound TERRIBLE, why are you even here. Except then, well, I'm there and I'm sick, so what the hell, I'm an idiot.

Anyway, I went to the doctor yesterday and even there they were like oh my GOD, you sound TERRIBLE, and stuck thermometers and pulse oximeters on me, and now I have antibiotics and inhalers up the wazoo.

Today I sent Angus a song that I can't stop listening to lately and said I couldn't decide if it was country. He said "look at you sending music" as if I was five, or eighty, little twerp. Then I said "on further reflection, I'm not entirely sure it's not about contemplating suicide, which is not the vibe I'm going for." We decided that buddy is probably not actually going to the water to throw himself in. 

Angus is driving to Virginia this weekend to see his friend Ben Adams play in the College World Series. Ben's parents were both teachers at the kids' high school, and they always called Ben Angus's Brother from Another Mother. In university some of the team saw him on Instagram and pretended they thought he was Angus's younger brother who he never talked about because he was jealous of how good he was at baseball. He's staying with the family in the hotel, so that should prompt a whole new round of confusion. When we went to watch Angus's old team in the finals for Provincials one year and Ben came up to bat, a kid behind me who sounded about ten said confidently "That's Ben Adams, who's the brother of Angus Adams who went to the LLWS two years ago". He sounded so certain I was like, is it possible he is better-versed in the previous occupants of my uterus than I am?

Eve has been having a very un-fun period while I've been sick, and Lucy has spent many days going back and forth like oh no, both women are down, who do I comfort first? One night while I was still reading Eve came in my room at about two a.m. with a monster cramp that wouldn't let up, and her body's pain response is always alarming - she gets pale, her pulse gets thready, she passes out, it's a whole big thing. She laid down with me and I went downstairs to heat up the rice pillow and then rubbed her back. Fortunately the heat did the trick. She went back to her bed a half hour or so later saying "thank god I have a mommy who doesn't sleep at night", so what do you know, maybe everything IS for a reason.

I still have no voice. If I was the kind of librarian that always shushed people I might say this was divine justice, but I'm not, so maybe the divine whatever could give a girl a break. 

And I have been having the craziest fun times with old people lately. My doctors office is right by an Independent grocer so yesterday after my appointment I went to the garden center to grab a few things to plant because the garden center is outside and I wouldn't be a pariah if I coughed. This old Greek woman nabbed me because she couldn't reach the tomato plants and she said "in my country we say the tall person is the slave to the short person" which, um, but she was very sweet, and we figured out the different kinds of tomato plants (pineapple tomatoes? Intriguing) and picked out all the ones with the thickest stems and she was very grateful.

Today I stopped for a couple of things on my way home from work (where I wasn't supposed to be) and as I was unloading my cart into my car an older woman came up with her cart and said "would you like me to return yours too?" (I was between her car and the cart return). I said "oh, I can return yours", but she seemed bent on grabbing mine, so I put the last bag in and hit the button to close the back, and she said "don't forget your avocado". I saw there was an avocado still in the cart, which made me think I might have just inadvertently stolen an avocado, but I managed not to say that. I hit the button to make the back hatch go up again, and then it was confused and kept going the wrong way which was awesome, because now I had an audience. In the end I let her return the cart and she probably felt like she'd helped someone who really needed help. Circle of life, I guess.

Comments

Sarah said…
I am so sorry you are sick, but this post was hilariously delightful. I also get terrible cramps (which honestly made labor and delivery so much easier than I thought it was going to be) and ibuprofen (like LOTS OF IT) from the day my period starts through about day 4 is THE THING that helps me.
Nicole said…
*hops on two planes to get back to Ottawa to make you tea and soup and STAY HOME*
(also, I get it, I have a hard time not doing the things even when I feel like death)
I love that you and the lady were low-key arguing about taking the carts back, you are my people.
Pat B said…
I’m sorry you are so sick but grateful that you continue to entertain all of us as you suffer through the plague. I feel bad for Eve, but happy she has you even at 2 am. I was so fortunate with my cycle- never had much in the way of cramps or any other issues. In fact it’s almost embarrassing when I tell a friend how much of a non event my cycle was for all those years. Get better soon!
StephLove said…
Hope you (and Eve) feel better soon. I like the image of Lucy not knowing who to cuddle. Stay home.
Aw, (cuss word utttered on your behalf). There is never a good time to be sick, but the end of the school year sounds like a really not-good time. I hope you are better soon.

Those incidents sound like fun times with the older generation!
NGS said…
I am so late in responding to this post that presumably you are well again, but I wish you a quick recovery. I am also dying to know what song you were talking about. WHY ARE YOU KEEPING IT A SECRET?!
Ugh ugh ugh I hope you and Eve are both feeling better by now. I completely relate to the idea that people will think you're faking. Why is that a thing that brains think.

The Angus and Ben thing made me giggle.
Busy Bee Suz said…
I hope you are both better by now. Well, Eve had better been...it's been a few days. I used to have the absolute worst periods, so she has my sympathy. You? You should be in bed and not out galavanting around town. (I sound like my Grandma!)
The circle of life; it's alive and well!
Angus has a little brother? 😀 "He sounded so certain I was like, is it possible he knows the previous contents of my uterus better than I do?" Thanks for the giggle!
Ernie said…
Sorry to be so late here and also sorry to hear you are sick. Being sick in summer when one wants to be out and about totally bites. I hope the meds kicked the germ's butt.

I did not connect your last name with the story of the assumed-brotherhood until the end of that story and I was like OH WOW. NOW I GET IT. The kid thinking they were brothers within earshot of you gave me Ferris Bueller vibes . . . like urban legend or something.

Lucy torn about who to comfort first . . . aww.

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