Hit him with your stick!
I have one sister and no brothers. We took figure skating, dance and brownies, and I played the piano. I have vague memories of a skating pageant where I was in one of two lines of little girls who skated up on either side of our skating teacher who was dressed like a princess, and when she lifted her head up to skate her solo I was surprised at how much makeup she was wearing. Her lipstick was thick and sparkly, and in retrospect this seems kind of gross to me, but since I was six I probably thought it was beautiful. I also remember a dance number where all the mothers were going nuts trying to scotch tape everyone's bunny ears upright. So my family as a whole was completely unversed in the niceties of the out-of-town hockey tournament. That has now all changed. Somewhat. photo credit creative commons license As far as I can tell, the experience consists of a welter of mind-numbing logistics and frenetic activity alternating with periods of absolute boredom OR bacchanalian d