Peripheral Covid Stuff and My Weird-Ass Kids

 So Angus texted us this the other night:

So I had a minor heart attack. Then he texted this:

So naturally I disowned the little shit. 

Taking Eve to get tested was easier than I expected, considering we had been hearing about five-hour lineups at testing centers in Ottawa. We called a place a little further out at nine a.m. and got a window of between eleven and twelve. She was supposed to be in school, but for math she is able to follow in online if she can't be there, so she was listening to the lesson on her phone as we drove. 

We found the place and parked. 

It was a community center and the parking lot was surrounded by little apartment buildings, so we sat for a a bit while Eve's class was on a break looking at how people decorated their little entrances or balcony railings - window boxes, a line of inukshuks, patio lights. Then a truck pulled up with a really cute dog hanging out the window, so we squealed at him for a while. Then we talked about nonsense. At one point Eve said "do you know that if you pet a bird under its wings it messes it up and it will chronically masturbate?" I lifted my jaw off my chest and whispered "how... does a bird masturbate?" Eve threw her arms out and yelled "I DON'T KNOW! It must have a penis, right? Does the bird have sex? Where the bird penis at? WHERE IT AT?" Then I looked at her phone and said "you're on mute, right?" and she lunged for it in desperation.

They called us and checked her health card number and told her to come to the back door. She went in and I drove around to the front door and she came out almost immediately. She'd been pretty nervous about the test but said it wasn't bad at all (she had the two nostrils and throat swab - I have since been tested in just the one nostril and I did not KNOW my nostril went up that high, so I am glad she had a better experience).

So that was all good. Then we got home and I went on Twitter and experienced the weirdest instance of Bader-Meinhof phenomenon of my entire life:


*stares silently into the distance at this disturbing information*

I...cannot think of anything to say but now I am going to be thinking about this forever. Specifically, I am going to be thinking of the parakeet the little girl I babysat for when I was a teen had as a pet. Well.

Also disturbing, that moustache, Angus, no.
StephLove said…
North's been tested for covid six times, because they need to have one every time they're admitted to the hospital or have a scheduled procedure like an MRI. No one else in the family has been tested. They're our canary in the coal mine.
Ernie said…
Wait, WAS she muted? I recently dragged Mini along for a fairly long car ride where she would presumably work on homework. We chatted the whole time. Oddly, not about masturbating birds but still a funny chat.

Shame on that boy for getting you momentarily worked up.

I am not sure I would survive a nostril test. For real.

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