First World Christmas Problems and My Adorable Snowman

My mind is doing somewhat better than usual for this time of the year. My body is being a bit problematic. I took on a few extra shifts, which were fun and fulfilling but put extra strain on my back, which was already complaining about all the standing for baking and cooking for the Christmas party and book club (both were a blast, no regrets). My hands feel weird - swollen and sore. I think I just need some exercise and a massage to release some pinched nerves and I probably definitely don't have MS or hand cancer. I am fighting the thought that nothing will get better and I will feel like this forever, and Facebook memories are helping because they remind me that last year at this time I had a bone spur kicking up hell in my right foot and I couldn't walk without a limp and that situation has been remedied nicely. I just need to walk on the treadmill, drink some water, and not be on my feet carrying huge armfuls of books around for a couple of weeks which, huge coincidence, is totally about to happen.

So yesterday one of those things happened that made me feel like, no matter how much I work on developing better habits and getting my shit together, I am destined to be an irremediable fuck-up. I have started putting things in my phone calendar, including when my cleaner comes, so I'm not caught by surprise every second Tuesday because I've forgotten that 1) it's the second Tuesday and 2) it's Tuesday and 3) I have a cleaner. I've cleaned up the area around the front door so I know where things are when I'm leaving for work in the morning. I pack up everything I need the night before and lay it all out.

So yesterday I had extra things to take in the morning because I was bringing baking and Christmas cards for my fellow library tech who I overlap with for an hour, the secretaries and the janitor. I got up early to make sure I would be organized. I got everything into the van (Matt was on his way to pick up Angus with my vehicle) drove down the street and realized I had forgotten my lanyard with my school keys and my winter coat, which I don't wear in the car but always have close by so my mother won't be able to tell me how I'll die of hypothermia if I get in an accident and am stuck in the cold with no coat. No problem, I have lots of time. I drive back, grab my coat and my lanyard, but for some inexplicable reason I don't put it around my neck, I throw it in the passenger seat with my coat.

I drop off Lucy at my mom and dad's, drive to school, start handing out baking and realize I don't have my lanyard. Not a huge deal, right, I maybe dropped it in the driveway and it will probably be there when I get home. Except, um, maybe for some inexplicable reason there's also a house key on it? Why would there be a house key on it? I don't remember. It's not smart to leave a house key on it. I could lose it, I LOSE THINGS. And now I'm stuck at school for the next few hours and what if some nefarious delivery person comes to deliver a package, finds the key and now has the ability to break into my incredibly messy house?

I was so mad at myself. Why did I leave the stupid house key on the stupid lanyard? Why didn't I hang it around my stupid neck? I called my dad, who lives really close by, and asked him to drive over and find it. I texted Matt and apologized for being an idiot who was going to get all our stuff stolen out of our incredibly messy house. He was very gracious and told me not to worry. My mom called and said my dad found the keys. I still haven't taken the house key off, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??

In conclusion, I will leave you with pictures of my two new Christmas decorations from the craft show. We have a lot of Christmas decorations and I only buy new ones if they really call to me.

This is from a woman that makes angel ornaments with names on them - my mom has been buying them for Eve for years. I saw this and loved the simplicity. 

I was talking to another woman that I didn't recognize (I've been going to this craft show for about ten years, so I'm totally buds with some vendors). Her stuff was nice but not really my style, Then I looked down on a lower shelf and saw this little dude's smile and I was helpless. 

I love them and they make me happy. Today I am going to bake a couple more things but try not to spend too many hours standing up, write some embarrassingly late Christmas cards and maybe watch an inappropriate movie later, with my kids who are BOTH HOME for the next two and a half weeks. I've already drunk a ton of water and I have to pee every twenty minutes, go me.


Swistle said…
Favorite part: "so I'm not caught by surprise every second Tuesday because I've forgotten that 1) it's the second Tuesday and 2) it's Tuesday and 3) I have a cleaner."
Magpie said…
heh. i love that i live in a house with an attached garage. i haven't carried a house key in 15 years. of course, i'd never be able to get into the house if the power happened to be out but there you have it.
Busy Bee Suz said…
I pray that you don't have hand cancer and that I don't have foot cancer. (they're crying today)
It sounds like you're getting a lot of good stuff done even if the cards are late. If I could, I'd pat you on the back.
I never carry a house key cause we go in through our garage and we have a key hidden in the garage.
Dang, it. Now someone will read this and figure out how to open my garage and then voila-they're in my house. Hopefully, it won't be terribly messy when they get in.
Your decoration additions were totally worth it.
Enjoy your kiddos!!
Merry everything!
Ernie said…
You are so hilarious. So glad the keys were found. I worry that one day someone will realize our garage door opener will allow them access into the house when one of us forgets to lock the car. We have a 3 car garage but most of the time we only fit one car in it. That leaves 2 cars on the driveway inviting someone to open the garage. Sigh. Anyway, my kids were concerned a few years ago because there was a rash of break-ins in our neighborhood. I assured them that if anyone broke in they would just shrug and walk out because they would assume that the place had already been ransacked. We live like animals who store up hoodies and dirty sweat socks for the winter by leaving them all OVER THE KITCHEN AND FAMILY ROOM FLOORS. I don't mean to challenge you, but I would bet money our house is a bigger mess than yours.

I never remember what a movie has in it, so I think everything is appropriate. Coach might one day die of a heart attack trying to grab the remote from me. I'm like: they go to public school - they know shit! (but I am also forever freezing the inappropriate scene while I fumble with the remote).

Oh yes, one more thing - my back is also KILLING me. Today was Curly's bday. I made 6 loaves of pumpkin bread, a bday cake (from a box), her favorite dinner, mashed potatoes, and then diced up some veggies for a dip I am making for Saturday. Coach called to me (disclaimer: he worked for umpteen hours treating PT patients on his feet) from the family room: 'I unloaded a dishwasher and then loaded some of it. I am not going in the kitchen again tonight.' Did he know that he was saying this to me while I was dicing veggies with a sharp knife?
Krista said…
I Love your new decorations? What is the name of the vandor who made that pretty wreath? I would love to see more of her things.
StephLove said…
I hope your back feels better soon. Enjoy having Angus home! Noah gets in tonight, in twelve hours and forty minutes if his bus is on time, not that I'm counting down the hours or anything.

I'm pretty sure you don't have hand cancer.

I nearly had a breakdown the other day because I couldn't find my keys. They weren't in the zippered pocket in my bag where I usually put them. They weren't in my coat pocket, or my other coat pocket, or on the counter. All usual places. I was absolutely frantic, and then my son - who never finds anything, he's a disaster - found them in my purse, just not in the zippered pocket. It never occurred to me that was a possibility.

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