Cats and Cattiness

For Joe (HI JOE) and Nicole (HI NICOLE), the Schrodinger's cat joke: Schrodinger is driving along and gets stopped by a cop. The cop finds his behaviour suspicious and searches his car, including the trunk. When he opens the trunk, he says "oh my god, there's a cat in here and it's dead!" and Schrodinger says "Well NOW it is!"

Today: slept too late, made myself go to the gym. Came downstairs from the gym, went to grab a grocery cart. As I was pulling it back, someone walked into me. I half-turned around, about to say sorry, and saw this older woman, obviously rolling her eyes and pissed off. Because she had walked into me, while I was pulling out a shopping cart, which is what people do with shopping carts. And she wasn't leaving or going somewhere else, which might have meant her attention wasn't on the shopping carts, because she then pulled out her own shopping cart.

So I looked back and saw her being a bitch because she had walked into me. And I completely lost any ability to be gracious. I yanked the cart out and pushed it into the grocery store and mumbled a stream of invective and very obviously didn't smile at her when we bumped into each other (figuratively) again at the green juice.

Then I tried to turn my cart into the pharmacy aisle, but my arms were noodly from working out and I bumped a rack and a bunch of chapstick fell off. And this young employee who'd been talking to someone nearby came to my rescue and said consoling things about Monday and picked up all the lip balm while I apologized profusely and sort of cry-laughed.

I guess I could take some kind of lesson from that. Like, if I'd gotten up earlier I would have missed being walked into by an asshole. OMG, you guys - what if I've used up my Canadianness? What if I never apologize to someone who steps on my foot again? I honestly feel like I've reached some kind of threshold. Fear me.

Comments

Unknown said…
That joke is amazing. Schroedinger was the subject of my second favourite strip from my second favourite web comic: http://angryflower.com/387.html
Nicole said…
That joke is fantastic.

Ugh, about the crabby lady. Why do people have to be like that? Why can't they just be nice? And the chap stick thing reminded me of the time at Costco when I grabbed a box of tampons and the WHOLE DISPLAY came tumbling down, all giant boxes of tampons.

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