This Is Forty Or, Why I Love My Friends So Much
From: Janet
To: Allison, Matt, Margot, Michael, Collette, Mark, Gerry
Subject: Dave
Hi guys,
Dave had a bike accident on Saturday morning. He had his foot locked into his bike pedal and couldn’t get it unhooked quickly enough and fell over onto his shoulder. Luckily, a nice Samaritan stopped and called an ambulance and even brought Dave’s bike back to our place. Dave should be going in for surgery today and will have his arm in a sling for the next 6-8 weeks. Hopefully he’s up to doing wings this Tuesday and can tell you all about it himself.
cheers,
Janet
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From: Allison
To: Collette
Subject: At Hospital
With Matt. Possible kidney stone. Guard your husband. Bad week for men in our group.
Allison
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From: Collette
To: Janet, Dave, Margot, Michael, Mark, Gerry
Subject: Matt
So…Matthew in in the Queensway Carleton now. Rushed there by ambulance.
They suspect kidney stones.
I’m sensing a trend…Mark, Michael, or Gerry next? Maybe we can set up a pool?
C.
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From: Margot
To: Allison, Matt, Janet, Dave, Collette, Mark, Gerry, Michael
Subject: When it rains....
Michael already lost his gallbladder so hopefully he will get a by this time.
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From: Collette
To: Margot, Michael, Allison, Matt, Janet, Dave, Gerry
Subject: When it rains...
On the contrary…he’s in a weakened starting position, more open to a possible attack.
I’m not sure from what exactly---some sort of unusually high gall-needing food that will wreak havoc with his digestive system and leave him in a puddle on the floor. Only to be rushed by ambulance to the Queensway Carleton to be ignored for many hours.
C.
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From: Gerry
To: Michael, Margot, Allison, Matt, Collette, Mark, Janet, Dave
Subject: When it rains...
Open to possible attack... FROM A BADGER!
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From: Michael
To: Gerry, Margot, Allison, Matt, Janet, Dave, Collette, Mark
Subject: When it rains...
I think I'm susceptible to psychological attack. I'll be checking every twinge, itch, or change of body temperature for the rest of the day against WebMD. I may spend some time concentrating on not hyperventilating after I accidentally become conscious of my own breathing and start over-thinking it. I'll also be scanning the dark corners for badgers.
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From: Gerry
To: Michael, Margot, Allison, Matt, Janet, Dave, Mark, Collette
Subject: When it rains...
From: Matthew
To: Michael, Margot, Allison, Janet, Dave, Mark, Collette, Gerry
Subject: When it rains...
I am on my way home from hospital, feeling much better. Hopefully see everyone at J. Canuck's tonight.
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From: Gerry
To: Matt, Allison, Michael, Margot, Janet, Dave, Mark, Collette
Subject: When it rains....
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From: Gerry
To: Michael, Margot, Allison, Matt, Collette, Mark, Janet, Dave
Subject: When it rains...
In spite of my general badgeriness, I won't be making it tonight. While not hospitalized, I do seem to have either a head cold or some allergy thing going on that's making me drip mucus rather heavily. Lack of oxygen + beer may be fun, but sleep is desperately needed to recuperate.
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From: Collette
To: Gerry, Matt, Allison, Margot, Michael, Janet, Dave, Mark
Subject: When it rains...
It's probably Ebola. It starts out like that. 3 down, 2 to go....
Comments
HONEY BADGER DON'T CARE.
Your friends are delightful. Stands to reason, since you're delightful too.