Yesterday was beautiful and spring-ish and I felt so good. Today is cold and raining and threatening freezing rain and more snow is forecast for Thursday and the light fixture in my entrance has launched itself out of the ceiling in protest, to which I say, Relatable.
You know when you've been feeling bad about yourself but you don't even realize it because generally feeling bad about yourself just feels like feeling realistic because, well, you feel bad about yourself so the bad stuff must be true? It has come to my attention that that is what has been happening with me lately. A while back - beginning of last year maybe - I set a goal to just live for a while, instead of questioning and over-thinking everything and assuming everything I was doing was because I was lazy, selfish, or otherwise bad. I should have pinned this goal to tangible steps - making lists of good things I did or writing down 'give yourself a break' every day or something. But I did not. And I am forgetful.
Anyway, just getting that out here. I've gotten two really nice compliments in the past couple of weeks and just realized that I took them with a kind of rueful sympathy, like 'oh, that's so cute, they're so deluded'. WTF, brain.
NOW, back to the whole 'backing into a parking space' thing. I don't want to go back there, believe me, I thought the post I did was already spending too much time on it. But then the lovely Anne sent me an article from the New York Times, saying she was surprised at the 'hard-line opinions' expressed in the article. I read it and was also surprised, and a bit indignant. The author of the article himself says that 'some people, including me, find the move annoying'. Oh, so you're abusing your journalistic position to get a bigger audience for your trash opinion? (I'm kidding. Mostly. If I was a journalist I would take every available opportunity to broadcast my trash opinions to the world.)
He theorizes that it might be an expression of 'the ambient anxiety in our society', that rampant gun violence means that giving oneself an easy exit makes sense. Then mentions a woman who hated her job and wanted to get out of the parking lot as soon as possible.
Neither of these is me. My anxiety in this matter is solely about driving and parking lots. It seems more likely to me that I will accidentally hit a car or person backing OUT of a spot rather than backing INTO one.
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| Random picture of Lucy and my dad to distract you from how unhinged I am being over this |
His sole concrete objection, rather than 'it's annoying' or 'it makes no sense' is that it is 'discourteous' to other drivers and causes congestion in busy parking lots. Well that's dumb. If the parking lot is busy and it's going to hold people up, I just DON'T DO IT. And I can't think of a time when someone else made me wait while they backed in, so it happens rarely to me, if ever.
The points in favour include the fact that the American Automobile Association recommends it in their guidelines as being a good idea from a safety perspective. A 2020 study from the journal Transportation Research found that the pull-in back-out move has a higher crash risk. Against this actual evidence, the article's author Steven Kurutz, along with a random schoolteacher he consulted named Matthew Dicks, retaliate with the fact that they don't fully buy the (evidence-based) safety argument. Um, okay. Oh but also, they think backing in "makes no sense". DUDE, the things I do that make less sense than this would BLOW YOUR MIND.
I was talking to Collette (HI COLLETTE) about this and she said that after I mentioned being surprised at how vehement people were about this issue I was now sounding quite vehement about this issue. I'm NOT, though, I am vehement about people being vehemently against it for no good reason other than they don't want to do it so they think nobody else should either.
THERE. Please gods let this be my last word on the subject.
For a palate-cleanser, some of my fun Facebook memories:
10 comments:
Sometimes I like to hold very strong opinions about things that truly don't matter. I have INCREDIBLY STRONG feelings about taillights and if you're ever in a car with me at night, you'll hear about them. Does it really matter? Maybe not, but I STILL HAVE THOUGHTS.
And then there are things that are important and do make a big difference and I just see all the sides and think there is NO GOOD ANSWER. Consider Daylight Saving. I am swayed by both sides of the debate, so I'm USELESS to talk to about it because I'll just agree with whoever I'm talking to.
In the matter of backing into a space, I see myself in the second group.
(Also. You're wonderful and hilarious and I get very excited when your posts pop up. You should give yourself all the slack in the world because you make my life better! I suspect other people's lives are also made better, but I don't know them. You're awesome. Celebrate yourself.)
WTF brain, WTF NYT journalist, WTF light fixture
I have strong feelings about how my tea towels should be displayed on the oven door, but I don't really think that everyone in the world should follow my lead on this. I am not going to write a piece for the NYT talking about how everyone who does not fold them in thirds is ruining society (or AM I? NYT, give me a call). I mean. Who cares? How anyone parks their cars? Unless a car is parked horizontally across three spots or is in a disabled space without someone being disabled (THE FIRST PERSON TO POINT OUT THAT NOT ALL DISABILITIES ARE VISIBLE IS GOING TO GET A STERN LOOK FROM ME, I KNOW THAT, I KNOW THAT MANY DISABILITIES ARE INVISIBLE BUT THAT DOESN'T AFFECT MY FEELINGS ABOUT PEOPLE WHO PARK IN DISABLED SPOTS WHO ARE NOT ACTUALLY DISABLED, VISIBLY OR NOT)
Also my MIL still drives and really, I don't think she should be, but there is nothing I can do about it, and the one thing that is good is that she only ever goes to her grocery store at a very slow time of day, and drives through the parking stalls so she doesn't have to back out. There is no difference between that and backing into parking spots, why do people get so upset about things like this and WHY AM I ALL IN A TIZZY ABOUT THIS OMG I MUST SETTLE MYSELF DOWN
I park in this ludicrous parking garage on campus that reminds me of Disneyland's Matterhorn ride and only has one way up and down. And sometimes! Some ASSHOLE makes the whole line of incoming drivers wait while they back into a really narrow spot and it makes me SO STABBY. But maybe I am just jelly because even with an awesome back up camera, I suck at backing in.
I am pro backing in, though I rarely do it. We lived in a big apartment building with assigned garage spaces for a couple of years, and it was so much safer to back in, because as you mention, one is MUCH more likely to hit someone coming out than backing in. The only time it’s rude is like Sarah’s situation, where you are making a bunch of people wait, which I would never do (unless I could see that it was going to be a LOT more dangerous to back out…then I might consider it, sorry Sarah!). I rarely do it myself because I’m mostly more comfortable going in, but when I do back in, I’m always grateful to myself when it comes time to leave. All of this is to say that I do not have strong opinions about backing in other than people who are fully against it (like the article you mention) are clearly idiots. Guess what? Our new car has a self parking feature and backs in BEAUTIFULLY, though it takes a tiny bit longer than parking yourself.
Ugh on the whole being so damn hard on yourself thing. Why are we like this? So many of us are like this. WHY? I mean, I know you online, and I’ve met you in person, and you are funny and smart and pretty and kind and generous and ALL OF THE THINGS. Shut up brain.
OK, hello, "it is 'discourteous' to other drivers and causes congestion in busy parking lots" ... huh? Like, if you *don't* back in, aren't they going to have to wait later when you back out???
This just feels to me like he got halfway through his argument, then got distracted before he realized it should be cut.
That NYT article??? Ridiculous. I am a “back ‘er in” unless a drive through option is available. I believe the “it’s safer, less crashes” theory. And as Tudor said, they either wait while you back in or wait while you back out. Sometimes I have to abandon the back in because some a-hole is right on my tail when I signal and drive a little past the spot. Soooo annoying. So yes I also have strong feelings on this.
I am sorry your brain is not letting you accept compliments. Knock it off, Allison's brain.
My former doctor once wrote out an actual prescription for me that said, "Don't be so hard on yourself." I've since gotten that advice from other doctors as well, and honestly, I do try very hard to be kind to/about myself. It's hard to change a mindset. So, I GET YOU.
And even though you are mightily sick of it, please keep that lousy weather to yourselves up there. We don't want it here.
Hello, my new friend! First, I have to say that I say “WTF brain” on the regular and feel very seen. Second, the whole parking debate really resonates with me. Parking is a true anxiety for me; my local friends know I won’t go if parking doesn’t meet my baseline needs, sigh. WTF brain. I am on team “pull through” spot so I can see what I’m driving out into, but often get emotionally shut down when a large truck parks next to me and I can’t see beyond or above it.
Who DOESN'T hold strong opinions about things that (in the long run) do not really matter? I, too, say "WTF, brain" on a daily, perhaps hourly, basis. It stuns me to think that there are people who do NOT say that on a daily basis.
Also? I think I mentioned this, but I have to back in to my regular parking spot, or else I cannot extricate myself in less than 10 minutes. The other reason is that the person who parks next to me has literally no parking skillz, and it's better if I can just pull out without having to back around her (crooked, usually, and not fully pulled in) mondo car.
And that's more than you wanted to know about a) my brain, and b) my parking situation. :)
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