Contrary to what dear Steph understood, I did NOT catch the 'eat peroxide' text before I sent it, just soon enough afterwards that it didn't sit there radiating poisonous (ha) energy.
As for Engie and thinking about times when that would NOT be an autocorrect, my friend Holly (HOLLY) of the Slutty Mrs. Claus fame (in addition to just wearing the costume, when she came out of the dark loge at the end of the night she realized that one side of the top had ripped open and her bra was fully displayed. COME AND GET HER, BIG RED) said that her husband had dumped the cleaning brushes in the sink and poured tomato sauce on them, and then she sent us this from Google:
Husbands, be on guard. We might have to erase our chat history. Possibly related, shortly afterwards she sent us this, lamenting that it wouldn't get here in time for our lunch date on Saturday.
Tiny. Jockey-shaped. Keychain.
us reasons, after much group encouragement, which is only one reason why this chat is such an enormous gift, even when we're talking about penis-shaped stuff.
Tuesday night I went to a really fun dinner with a bunch of my husband's sales people, a couple of whom I have met. Even the people I had never met were very friendly and easy to talk to. I had to text Suzanne for a pep talk beforehand because this kind of thing makes me so anxious, but once I got there it was pure enjoyment, which is a really nice thing.
Wednesday was also cold and it snowed/sleeted all day. I had to clean my car off after morning school AND afternoon school, and it was sticky snow that was almost impossible to get off. The roads were also quite bad, and I was determined to get to the library to drop off books and pick up holds, but it really wasn't the best decision. Fortunately neither the school nor the library are very far from home, so I got there with only a few minutes of slow, harrowing, slippery driving.
Today I was doing a few errands before Matt needed the car for a work lunch. You know that moment where it suddenly seems like everyone has lost their minds in the Christmas run-up? Today seemed to be that moment here. People were running stop signs, blocking grocery aisles, giant trucks were pausing in the exit lane, then maybe turning, then pausing again. The checkout person at Farm Boy seemed determined to do everything in as slow and awkward a fashion as humanly possible. I was packing my own groceries, and he kept putting things down right beside him, which was more than an arm's length away from where I was bagging, which....? Maybe he was new, I thought. Maybe people have a lot going on (most of them do) and that is why they are driving dumbly. So I managed to only complain in my mind, and also only curse at people driving in my own car without using the horn, and that was the best I could do. I also mentally wished them all happy holidays (and maybe a driving lesson or two).
All to say, I am trying to lean into the Christmas wackiness and maintain a sweet-natured equanimity (WHAT? It's theoretically possible!) and I am so grateful for everyone online and in real life helping me not to go medical on someone's obnoxious-Ford-F1 ass.
(Also another really fun penis post is here. It was a game the whole family could play! You know, if you find your day lacking in Penis Talk).
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