Camp Prepping While Anxious

 I am trying really hard not to lose it, but I am so jumpy and my stomach is so heavy, FOR NO REASON AT ALL. We're in really good shape. I just finished the third of three batches of biscuits, ribs and chicken for 22 are in the freezer (some people cook at camp, but I can't do that, so I cook at home and we do our dinner one of the first nights there). I just have to heat up and then decant my pineapple simple syrup and the food is done. And my hands are still a little bit functional - thanks to the really great super-sharp knives I bought on prime day after the last time I tried to slice the skin off a pork roast and destroyed my hand for four days - and my back is bad but not terrible. That's better than many years. Now we just have to get there and set everything up and there, alas, lies the rub.

Matt convinced me not to cook more rotini for the rotini and grilled corn salad. We always end up with too much food, and I said merrily "oh well, if this is the year we run out, it will be a good story! And then I'd have to kill myself." Matt said "well, at least you have new knives. Seppuku was never so easy". 

My friend Janet asked me to bring her a book for the beach and I am crumbling under the pressure. I started surveying my shelves to find a book for Janet, look for a couple of books I wanted to give Eve, and see if I did have a copy of I Capture the Castle, even though I won't be home in time for the first of Engie's CBBC posts on Monday. I couldn't find I Capture the Castle, which maybe I never had. I couldn't find Mean Boy by Lynn Coady or The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay by Michael Chabon for Eve, which I absolutely had copies of. I have a nicely compact stack of about twelve books for Janet to choose from. I've asked Matt if we can maybe leave a tent at home so I can bring more books. 

I have to pack the super-bright camping lantern which, during the year, I commandeer to help paint my toenails. At this point my eyesight is so bad I was sort of painting my entire foot then trying to wipe off everything that wasn't toenail. Then I discovered that a lantern that emits a billion lumens makes it a lot easier, and it only takes an hour or two to blink away the afterimage.

Yesterday, partly in an effort to distract myself from camping jitters and partly because we'd been planning to do it sometime anyway, Eve and I had a bookstore and ice cream date. Someone in Ottawa, I can't remember who, had told me about this great used bookstore in Stittsville. It's in an unprepossessing plaza but inside is charming and well organized. As we were parking, the people in the parking spot next to us were coming back to their car - a husky dad in a plaid shirt and two black-clad emo tweens. Eve was transported by the juxtaposition and the emo skills of the kids:  "omg, little queen is glaring at me, I love it so much." Eve found a Miriam Toews she hasn't read yet and I found a few other things. i will definitely be returning (they did not have I Capture the Castle, I checked).

 Then we went to my friend Nat's favourite bookstore The Spaniel's Tale - also super cute. I bought a book for my niece that I will not name for now because I'm not entirely sure she won't see this post. 

The Merry Dairy is the best ice cream place for Eve because they have multiple delicious vegan flavours. We got cones and then went back in to pick up the stuff we'd pre-ordered. We went to the cash register, which I had done before, and then the teenaged boy at the counter said "oh, you just go around to the side window, ring the bell if no one's there." So we did, but the sign there said it didn't open until four, and it was only one. We rang the bell, and were about to go back in when a woman walking her dog called from across the street "oh, that doesn't open until four". We told her we'd been instructed to go there but were willing to go back in. She came over and said "oh, that was Aidan, he usually washes dishes", and she opened the window and lifted the shade and called a girl over to get our order. We walked away grateful but confused. Eve said "was that the owner of the Merry Dairy? Was she just trying to walk her dog and we made her clock in? I hope Aidan doesn't get in trouble."

In the evening I went into her room to give her a hug, and she showed me something on her computer and we talked. I walked back to my room, and then back to her room, and said "I came in here to hug you" and she said "you did, but you can again", and then when I hugged her and rested my head on her head I said "oh, I remember now" and she laughed really hard. I really, really love her, even when she's gently mocking me. Now I'm going to finish my pineapple syrup, go do some yoga in an effort to mitigate the effects of five upcoming nights on an air mattress, and try to chill the fuck out. 

Five For Friday

 1. ANGUS IS HOME. For a little bit, before he moves SUPER FAR AWAY, let's be in denial about that part. He's going to come camping to Sandbanks with us, which is good because Eve is not, for I think the first time since we started, and I think I would be sad to be there completely offspring-less. Angus loves camping in a way that Eve doesn't, which is totally fair because she has skin issues and gut issues that are invariably triggered by something at some point, and she's a trooper about it, but she loves the beach and the water. Often a group of us will go down to the beach at night and look at the stars and sit in the sand and maybe swim. One time a few years ago we did this and I walked up to Angus and he was being quiet and contemplative and saying this felt very therapeutic, and then Eve ran between us with her head down and her hands in her pockets, making a NEER NEER NEER NEER siren noise, which is kind of a perfect representation of their respective personalities.

Today we went to see Twisters, maintaining my tradition of going to see whatever dumb movie my kids want to see when both my kids are home. It was only moderately stupid. A couple of weeks ago I saw a very disappointing horror movie with Collette (HI COLLETTE) and Janet (HI JANET) - I am quite annoyed with the reviewers who made it sound like it should be as good as Hereditary when friends, it was NO Hereditary. Sounded cool. Started cool. Went well until about two-thirds through, when it because extremely clunky and over-explainy and who-cares-ish. Kiernan Shipka had a small but incredibly effective part in it. Not unlike her part in Twisters, which, I don't know, does that mean something?

2. The time for camping is nigh upon us, and I am feeling my usual mix of excitement and apprehension. Matt is demonstrating his usual 'calm down, it will all be fine' vibe, and I'm trying not to yell WHAT ABOUT THAT ONE YEAR WE WENT WITHOUT THE AIR MATTRESS PUMP, while making extra sure that 'air mattress pump' is on the list. This weekend I will do the big grocery shop and Monday to Wednesday I will organize food and cook ribs and chicken and corn for twenty-two people and freeze it all and assemble towels for various purposes and make more pineapple simple syrup - oops, gotta add pineapple to the list, thanks for that - so I can make a giant jug of Caught In the Rains. 

Speaking of, I had my yearly Ottawa Market date with my friend Janis. We live two blocks apart, and we used to see each other constantly because Angus went to school with her son and then Eve became good friends with her daughter even though Eve is younger, and then Matt became good friends with her husband and they were the perfect friend family. Then the kids got older and, modern life being being what it is, we rarely see each other during the year now, but we never miss our yearly date to go and wander around the Byward Market and do a little shopping (our favourite stores are Zone and Paper/Papier) and have lunch and fill each other in on the previous year. Then we buy corn and berries and peaches at the farm stall before heading home. Covid summer we just did it in her back yard six feet apart, with takeout.

I had just told her about finding out that coconut tequila was a thing at my birthday dinner (not bitter at all that Nicole knew and didn't tell me, I'm sure she had her reasons, it's fine, hmph). Then we GOT caught in the rain, so our course of action seemed clear.

3. This past weekend there were plans that fell through, so Margot and Michael invited anyone who was at loose ends to come to their cottage again because MARGOT AND MICHAEL ARE AWESOME. It was a much smaller group. Eve came this time after not having been there for many years, and was the only not-old person. She is very good at doing her own thing, read most of a book, did some kayaking ("do they still have those open kayaks? Because I fuck with those open kayaks"). 

We went smaller with the food and while the big group stuff is always super fun, it's nice to have a chiller vibe sometimes.

For the most part.

4. Sunday we went down to the water, which, you may recall (probably not) entails a lengthy, precipitous, 13-storey switchback trail, for which we generally pack everything we need so as not to make multiple trips, for obvious reasons (aside from the athletic people, hmph). Except Margot went back up to say goodbye to Janet and Dave and then brought lunch and drinks down for everyone, including a little cutting board for the bagels, which, come on, Margot IS AWESOME.

5. I know technically that last thing should have been part of number three, but I wasn't sure I had enough things to get to five. Hmmmmmmmmm. Oh! I just finished a really good book. Do you remember a few years ago there was a black man in Central Park who asked a white woman to leash her dog, and she said she was going to call the police and tell them a black man was threatening her life? The man was Christian Cooper, and he was in Central Park because he is an avid bird-watcher. He's also gay, and worked at Marvel at one point, and was instrumental in one of the first gay superhero storylines. He's written a book called Better Living Through Birding: Notes from a Black Man in the Natural World, and my friend Carolyn put it on our book club list for next year. I got it from the library, and fifty pages in I was so smitten I returned the library copy and bought my own. Sometimes people have something happen to them that makes them somewhat of a Phenomenon, and sometimes those people get book deals, and sometimes I read those books and think "you would not have written a book and had it published had that one thing not happened to you, and that would not have been a loss to the literary world", but in my opinion this time it was a fortuitous and fortunate thing that Christian Cooper was led to write a book - he is fascinating, articulate, insightful, analytical, self-aware and compassionate, and I loved this book.

Morning Shower or Night Shower?

 Do you need to shower every day? Do you shower in the morning or at night? I don't want to start a whole thing like I kind of did with the top-sheet-or-not thing, but I find it interesting.

When I was old enough to shower independently, I always needed to shower in the morning. I would shower even if I was just going out to suntan with a friend and my dad would say that's super dumb, you're showering off the skin barrier that might prevent a sunburn, and he was right but dude, we were oiling up with basically barbecue sauce at that time, so I was undeterred.

I can't remember when I started needing to shower at night (AS WELL AS in the morning, not instead of). I think my heat regulation problems started in my early twenties, so maybe then? The night time shower was quick, basically a rinse off, but I couldn't get into bed without it. 

With my sleep issues, getting up early was even more painful when I had to shower and wash my hair. My hair was oily, though, so skipping it wasn't really great for not feeling gross during the day. My mom went through an annoying stage when I was in high school where she read that if you stopped washing your hair so much it would stop producing oil, and started badgering me to only wash it ever second day. My sister claims that this kind of thing only works with different hair from ours anyway, but I was not interested in testing the theory either way. I fought her until she gave up. 

As I've aged and my hair has gotten slightly less oily, and I've discovered dry shampoo, I've become pretty comfortable with getting up in the morning and just washing my face, since I've showered just before bed. I can go to work, run errands, work out (yes, I did used to shower before going to work out - so dumb), and then shower when I get home (okay, I will still have to shower right before bed, so this isn't a HUGE improvement, but still).

Eve has evolved naturally into showering after dinner, which she's done since she started showering on her own. She's never showered in the morning and has no issues with this. Angus usually showers in the morning unless he's off early, and then he needs to shower after the inevitable workout. For this reason, sharing a bathroom was never an issue for them like it sometimes was for me and my sister.

On the subject of washing stuff, I recently noticed in pictures that one of my eyelids looked slightly swollen. When I thought about it, I realized I don't really 'wash' my eyes. Is that weird? If I'm wearing mascara (not often) I used makeup removed, then kind of rinse off the makeup remover. If I'm not, I think I just kind of bypass my eyes. My eyes are sensitive, and I have to use eyedrops to be able to wear contacts at this point, and I don't like the idea of soap getting in them, but suddenly thinking about how I've been neglecting them in my otherwise quite compulsive - one might say obsessive - cleanliness routine (showering once a day AT LEAST: washing my hands if one even brushes against a garbage can or toilet seat lid: using soap on my cooch, pH balance be damned) kind of icked me out. I got some tea tree eye cleansing towelettes and started using them every second day or so, and running the facecloth I use every night gently over my eyes when I didn't use them. The swelling seems to have gone down, if not the crows feet. 

OH, and while we're at it, facecloth for face or just hands? I used to be only hands, but when my acne was fairly bad I wondered if the slight exfoliating motion of a facecloth might help, and it seemed to. But (see: obsessive) I have to use a clean facecloth every night, so I go through facecloths at a tremendous rate. 

I was getting nervous at not posting in a long time and not feeling up to loading a bunch of pictures, so I thought I would do a 'weird things I think about sometimes' post. I am feeling now like I might have chosen poorly, yet alas, here we are. 

Summertime and the Livin' is Wonky

 I have been feeling panicky about how long it's been since I blogged, which is silly and I don't like it. I will not belabour the subject.

End of school year! Start of summer!

Last year I was so utterly exhausted and enervated at the end of the school year that the thought of packing up and heading to our friends' cottage for Canada Day weekend made me weep (I know - what an ingrate). I forced myself, of course - Matt is so good at assuring me that I will feel better when I get there and I almost invariably do. And it was fantastic! Remember the hose shower? Wait, I can't link to the hose shower post because I can't find it, which is extremely weird because I have a very clear memory of writing it and people commenting on it. (Margot and Michael's cottage is at the top of a mountain (sort of) and you have to go down a steep switchbacky trail to get to the water and then back up again and it is VERY DIFFICULT for those of us who are not in tip-top shape, and last year a few of us realized there was a hose on the lower deck, so started a "Hose shower" thing on our way up to shower off the exertion and fear sweat, and, well, you can imagine the "let's get these hoes showered" and "into the shower with you, hoes!" hilarity that ensued.)

This year I am maxed out on one antidepressant because last year was so rough, and it has helped quite a bit. I was fine packing up and cooking a bunch of stuff until the night before, when I briefly didn't want to go, but I'm a socially-weird introvert, so it has to happen at LEAST once.

The weather wasn't idyllic, but it was all great anyway. The cottage has a huge screened-in room on one end, so even when everyone has to be inside and there's 15 of us, it's not squishy. People play ping-pong or board games or read or sit around talking or prepare food and it's very nice.

Or, you know, fight each other for the privilege of crushing ice with a mallet

The day we got there was warm but drizzly. The next day was clearer but windy and cold - I went in the water because once I went down that twenty-minute precipitous peril of a trail there was no way I wasn't swimming, but mostly we sat on the windy dock and watched the clouds. Monday was perfect and we swam and sunned and made dinner before heading home.

Cold

Matt and I brought our tent to sleep in. The first night I took a sleeping pill (just an over-the-counter) because I always have trouble sleeping the first night away anywhere. This was a mistake. I had restless legs all night, I had to get up to pee three times before I fell asleep, which was after it was already getting light. But then I slept in a few hours so it was okay. The second night was better, but my air mattress didn't feel as firm as it did camping last year, so we need to figure that out before camping this year because I NEED the magic of my double-height air mattress to be in full effect.

I made the drink from my birthday weekend that inspired me to buy coconut tequila and it went over really well. We paired it with Tony's pineapple upside-down cake. When I tried to google how to make the drink I could only come up with a coconut margarita, and I didn't want to use coconut cream. I then realized I could google the restaurant, look at the menu, see the ingredients of the drink and then look up cocktail proportions. Isn't it great when you start off so dumb that then figuring out something incredibly simple makes you feel like a genius? 

Tony made hurricanes. These went over...well, they went over like something that requires helmet and padding, as Collette said (HI COLLETTE). Some people said they could taste the tropical juices. Most people said they got a rum forward, hint of rum, top notes of rum, with a finishing rum bouquet. Thank goodness we only had one each, aside from whoever stole Michael's (regret to inform you that we cannot release any names while the investigation is ongoing).

Due preparations for the brisket.

The gracious hosts.

Killer sunset.

Canada Day

Sort of incognito, don't want to be Canadian too loudly

The heartbreaking optimism of being one switchback down the trail.