Me: "I dismantled the clothing mountain in the closet and left twelve pairs of pants and about twenty shirts for you to go through".
Matt: "Okay."
Me: (gently) "...and I donated everything with a 32 waist."
Matt: "Ouch."
Me: "Don't feel bad. They were all very old."
Matt: "But I have to lose weight."
Me: "Ugggghhhhh, we've talked about this multiple times, our daughter is sitting right there, can we NOT with the 'I need to lose weight'?"
Him: "Okay. But the thing is, I need to lose weight."
Eve: "I forgot that Earth is not always the same distance from Mars when I was doing this question. Because spoiler alert you guys, the planets MOVE."
Me: "Diets don't work. If you're desperate to lose weight you're just going to do a bunch of stupid extreme stuff that won't work. You need to work on some healthier habits. You - we - need to exercise a little more and eat more vegetables."
Matt: "Yeah. So we can lose weight."
Me: *throws up hands in defeat*
*************************************************88
Scene: a couple hours earlier, up in our bedroom. I am watching a movie on Netflix and then remember that Diabetes is coming by tomorrow. I bag up a couple of stacks of clothes that are sitting on the bench on the hall and then since I'm just watching a movie anyway I decide to tackle the closet. I take down a mountain of clothing that Matt has stacked up until I can't see more than my top half in the full-length mirror.
I go through the clothes, bag up what is obviously to go and leave some for him to look at. I look at the gloriously clean and clear closet space and I think
"Man, the cleaning lady is going to be SO PROUD of us when she comes next week".
1 comment:
I cannot even imagine the fight if I tried to glean some clothing out of Gary’s closet!
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