Bibliomama

T minus 48 hours before I leave for BlogHer and I've never felt more conflicted about blogging. Is that ironic? Or just pathetic? I've said many times that I've gotten everything I wanted out of blogging: an outlet for writing; a great community; a bunch of wonderful, creative, hilarious new friends; and a few free books.  I am opposed to the concept of unrestrained growth. I hated when I worked at Chapters and they were always on us to push the stupid rewards card on everyone - look, some people just want to come in and buy their frigging book of crossword puzzles and pay and leave, okay? People who regularly come in and buy a buttload of books probably already have the card, and people who don't want it just get pissed off when you ask them AGAIN if they want it. (Mysteriously, I've never taken an aptitude test that suggested I would be good in sales).  I don't like the idea of constantly having to grow my blog, expand my readership, create a brand, find...

So I'm feeling heavy and sad at the moment, so naturally I'm making a huge negative out of something that promises to be largely positive, by which I mean a tentative-yet-almost-certainly-correct diagnosis of severe sleep apnea . I waited months for an appointment at the sleep clinic at the Royal Ottawa Hospital. And of course I almost didn't go because why NOT get incredibly pessimistic and assume that it won't help at the last minute? The psychiatrist/sleep specialist guy was AWESOME. Not dismissive, not supercilious, not humourless (all things I've come to expect from medical specialists). There was a long set of forms to fill out and an exhaustive interview about family medical history, my history of depression and anxiety, the fact that I display allergy symptoms but the allergist says I'm not allergic to anything (this doctor said: "just because you're not allergic to anything in his little needles doesn't mean you're not allergic to any...

So here I am, in mild panic-mode, because Zarah and the kids left on Saturday and I only have three days to do all the laundry, finish my 40% assignment for my course and pack before leaving for New York on Wednesday - in addition to provisioning my baseball-preoccupied menfolk and making sure Eve has rides to and from drama camp and my Mom will help her with a costume for Friday if necessary. And my father-in-law showed up tonight for a spur-of-the-moment visit from Thunder Bay to see Angus's team play in Provincials. So I'm making curried chicken, way too late because I decided to work out as well as getting groceries and by the time I put away the groceries and unloaded the dishwasher it was too late for regular supper. The chicken smells a bit weird. I can't decide if it's off or just needs a rinse and will be fine with lime juice and curry powder in the mix. I look at the date on the package. It seems like we're a couple of days before the best before date, b...

So I had lunch with Kim and Patti on Wednesday, then drove to Oakville last Wednesday to visit my friend Elaine and eat taro fries. Then I drove to London on Thursday for an emotional reunion with my daughter, who I hadn't seen for EIGHT WHOLE DAYS (okay, I was emotional. She said "oh, hi.") On Friday we watched all the plays from the Camp of Awesome . On Saturday we drove back to Ottawa and found out the air conditioning was dead again. On Sunday Zarah and the kids got here. On Monday we went on an ice cream mission to the Marble Slab Creamery because I read about it in The Citizen and it was 31 degrees in the house - seemed like a good day to support a local business. Big, big hit - huge. Eve said "it's awesome - they're not toppings, because they put them right IN. They're INnings!" On Tuesday we got pedicures, because we've done it two years in a row and Sophie now considers it a tradition. We also went to watch Angus's baseball te...

Fun thing: I'm having lunch with Patti and Kim tomorrow, before heading to Oakville to have dinner with my friend Elaine before heading back to London to collect my daughter, who has only called me ONCE, and only because my sister MADE her. Can I just say that this 'having confident, independent children' thing is ASS? Also, I was trying to remember the name of Kim's blog today so I could email her to confirm for lunch, and I knew it was a cool play on a word that started with Im but for the blog it started with Kim, and all I could think of was this . (It's Kimperative . I love that. Don't you love that? I should change my name). Not-so-fun thing: The unholy godforsaken demon-gassing stench emanating from my son's baseball socks. Good Christ, will no one save us from this appalling reek? The minute he gets home he has to take them off and put them in the laundry room and rinse his feet off if he's not showering immediately. The other day someone on...

To everyone who has responded with kind concern to yesterday's blog post - in the comments and otherwise - I apologize for not being clearer. For this I blame the very brain fog (see? I just typed 'brain god') I was complaining about. I AM following my sister's advice about the gradual weaning process for my anti-depressant, I'm just being grumpy and ungracious about it. This is far from the first time I've had to stop an anti-depressant, and I have no desire to endanger other people on the roads, or my children, or dinner for the next six weeks, by being incautious (now I see I've sort of mixed up a driving reference with a cooking reference, so clearly blogging is also in danger. Awesome. Stupid drugs).  That whole 'relationship with an abusive lover' thing was just an attempt to inject something slightly poetic into what was feeling like a really flat blog post. It really works, though - I'm totally feeling the whole 'if I can't be wit...

Driving back from a tournament baseball game in Perth on Friday night, Angus made some comment about not being able to figure something out because he was too dumb from being out of school for so long. Then we realized we had no idea how long he had been out of school. Then we figured it out and were both stunned to realize it had only been EIGHT DAYS, when it's felt like a month already. Last day of school was Thursday. Saturday, Eve and I drove to my sister's in southern Ontario. Sunday, we went out to my brother-in-law's sister's farm for swimming, barbecue and fireworks. Monday, Eve started theatre camp with her cousins, pronouncing it seven kinds of awesome (which, from what we could see when we got there to pick them up, it really is). Monday night we took the kids swimming to the equally awesome community pool. Tuesday I drove back to Ottawa and our central air kicked the bucket. Wednesday I slept and sweated. Thursday I spent the afternoon at the sleep clinic ...