Bibliomama

I'm not in the greatest headspace. We've gotten crummy news on a couple of fronts that I don't really feel like talking about right now, but I feel like blogging at least once a week (at most once a week most weeks, let's be Frank, I mean frank, not that there's anything wrong with being Frank, simmer down Franks, I'm sure you're all lovely) is helping to maintain some sort of structure to my time so I'mma just throw up some random shit.

I did make the grilled naan last week and it turned out splendidly.

So we delivered to a couple of houses, and then had a socially-distanced (did I already say I'm getting sick of typing that? I'm really sick of typing that) backyard visit at the last house, which was lovely.

There was a thing going around on Facebook asking you to post your the last photo on your phone before you went into lockdown.

This is mine:

I'm just going to bang something out here (a BLOG POST, shut up) because I'm feeling antsy that I haven't, even though I've been meaning to clean the en suite our bedroom all day, but instead I carried a bunch of stuff from the main floor to the basement and did some laundry and got some groceries and went to the liquor store and then came home and started cooking and then watched two episodes of Ozark with Matt and now I will probably end up cleaning the bathroom while he's trying to sleep, but goddammit I will not go to sleep one more time with that bathroom uncleaned!

Ha ha, I wrote that two days ago and then gave up and went and cleaned the bathroom. Fortunately Matt was working late, so I didn't keep him awake.

I've mostly climbed out of the slough of despond, partly because it had run its course and was clearly not helpful, partly because of the headaches from all the crying. I still think that, of the still-employed locked down, the children and you…

I'm not doing great at the moment. I'm sad. I'm scared. One day it rained and I nearly had a panic attack because, even if I WASN'T going to go for a walk I really needed to know that I could if I wanted to. Angus has been doing pretty well, but he's tired of working out downstairs and not getting to play baseball and not seeing his girlfriend and, well, this all kind of sucks. I'm going to try to arrange a backyard beer with one of his friends this week because I think he really needs it.

I don't think I ever told the promised grocery shopping story in which I was an utter loon. It was just before the schools closed when we knew virus stuff was happening but not how bad it was going to get how soon. It was a Saturday morning and Matt had gone out to get some groceries. I realized, as always, that I had forgotten to add a few things to the list about ten minutes after he left, so I texted him. He didn't answer. I texted again. He didn't answer. I ca…

Everything seems kind of digital these days. Either the fridge is overflowing with food and I can't figure out where to put anything and that's annoying, or it's nearly empty and there's room for everything but I'm panicky at the thought of having to go shop again. Either I get up and feel like doing multiple errands and accomplishing numerous household tasks or I can't summon up the will to do anything. Either I remember I have a blog or.... you get the idea.

I stared at the calendar for an uncomfortably long time trying to figure out which week we were in. Somebody tipped me off that my phone shows the date when it turns on, which was something I could have happily gone the rest of my life without knowing, but now it's essential. Angus and I have gone almost completely nocturnal - we sleep from four a.m. or so until noon or so. He gets up and Matt has left him a cup of coffee that is now cool enough to be iced with minimum effort. I get up and make lunch …

You have questions? I have answers! Well, not really, only in a very narrowly limited way. So like Sasha, I have been doing a lot of Zoom or Google virtual meetings wherein it is extremely difficult to avoid staring at my own face, and I also do not enjoy it in the least. Everybody else seems to look roughly the same and I seem to look like Oliver Platt (who I'm sure is a lovely fellow). I'm trying to get over it. I also agree that when I look at my face ruthlessly it seems that it would require a goodly amount of liposuction. I always get upset that when I smile for pictures my eyes disappear and Eve says I'm being dumb because 1) if I tried to smile and keep my eyes open I would have crazy eyes and scare people and 2) many people have cheeks that squish their eyes closed when they smile and she thinks that's nice. I should be more like Eve.
Also, I think Botox used judiciously might be less jarring than the lip filler. That's what my friend (Eve's friend'…