Surly Thursday (It's Probably Not Thursday, Time's Lost All Meaning)

A few weeks ago I started noticing something strange. We went to bar night and the group of people I hang out with regularly and adore seemed a little mean. Do we always make fun of each other so much, I wondered? Does our humour skew a little toxic? I went to work in the library, where I hardly interact with anyone, but the people I did interact with seemed a touch abrasive. Someone posted a meme on Facebook that said something like "Everyone wanted fall sooo badly. Here it is - your cold, wet, windy, miserable mud puddle. Hope you're happy". That's kind of rude, I thought. I don't enjoy the heat, but I don't post "hope you like your acrid armpit" to all the summer lovers.

Wow, I thought. What are the odds that all of the people in my life simultaneously turned into assholes? 

Oh, wait, I thought. Is it possible there's another answer? Is there some sort of common denominator here? 

Oh crap....

So I am currently stupidly oversensitive and uptight, if not outright hallucinating injustices. Everything hurts my feelings, and I suddenly have SO MANY feelings sticking themselves out just asking to be hurt. It would be funny if it wasn't... no, it is funny. And annoying. I really like fall, so it's super ironically irritating when my brain goes walkabout in precisely the season I'd really like to enjoy. You know what, that fall meme still pisses me off, you can dislike a season without saying that everyone who likes it is dumb. Wait, that's still being oversensitive, isn't it? Shit.

Our friends who always have the big fun Halloween party are having the Halloween party again this year, after having to cancel last year for obvious reasons. I have five days to come up with a costume. I don't think I'm coming up with a costume this year.

It's fine. It was foreseeable. Eve moved away, and I was focused on getting her settled in, then I went to visit, then I went to bring her back for fall break, then fall break was over. It was lovely to have her home for a week, but it was almost too soon, and we've both had a few bumps on re-entry. And it's been raining a lot (which is never fun in any season, it doesn't mean fall SUCKS, CAROL). And I have one of those headaches that never quite goes away. And I have some kind of issue with my hands (numbness, swelling, pain, tingling) that usually peaks around Christmas and I use the two weeks off to recover, but this year it's worse earlier, and I should have gone to the doctor about it oh, say, two years ago, but better ridiculously late than never, right? 

I will post some pictures from Eve's week at home and our super fun week-end houseguests tomorrow. I'm hoping now that I've processed the fact that I am one big unsheathed nerve walking around in a nerve-injuring world that I can start re-myelinating or something (ha ha, this metaphor is more tortured than my mood). 

Oh, while I'm riding a surliness wave, could people fucking stop telling me to delete Facebook? Some of the sanctimony from people who did it and then smugly assert that they "don't miss it" is really unattractive. Well bully for you, but if you don't miss it then how is this you making a brave sacrifice in the face (ha) of corruption? One of the things someone said after Facebook/Instagram/Whatsapp went down and a bunch of people were saying "just read a book" or "just go outside" was "hey - how about not blaming users for the end result of a monopoly?" A lot of people rely on Whatsapp as a communication lifeline. Facebook isn't a matter of life or death for me, but it is a very important connection in a lot of ways. Never mind the delicious irony of the fact that some of these people are TWEETING that I should delete Facebook, when Twitter isn't perfect by a long shot. Me deleting Facebook isn't going to deal any kind of effective blow to Mark Zuckerberg, and I'm not into empty gestures. 

Also, my kitchen is full of fruit flies.

Hmph.