Content Warning

A couple of weeks ago I was on Twitter and I saw a hashtag that I wasn't familiar with - I think it was describing a disease. I punched it into the search bar, but instead of THAT hashtag, it gave me another hashtag that was in enthusiastic use in Gay Twitter. As in, I was suddenly face-to-NOT FACE with a close-up of an erect penis (I'm not being coy with the "it was an accident", if I was looking for dick pics I would cheerfully admit it). I snort-laughed because it was unexpected, but then I started reading the comments, and it was a thread of men complimenting each other exuberantly on their erections and saying "We should all destroy each other's holes!" It was all kind of.... wholesome.

A few days into near non-stop virus coverage, Eve looked up from her phone and said "Pornhub is giving isolated people in Italy free subscriptions! Isn't that nice?"

In non-penis-related news? Yesterday I had a lovely Twitter exchange with one of my favourite authors, who also answered the first fan letter I sent him seventeen years ago.



I'm always a bit disappointed but not terribly surprised when I find out that someone I admire as an actor or a writer is not as great as I have imagined them to be. It's really great, though, to find out that someone I admire as an actor or a writer is in reality just a really nice person. (And yes, I did later realize that it looks like I was pregnant with a broken-femur-having two-year-old and I did die inside a little, fine, are you happy, shut up, leave me alone).

Then I bitch-retweeted the former Governor General, just to make things that little bit more surreal.

Also, pornhub is now in my computer search terms because I looked to see if it was spelled PornHub. Which reminds me of when we were at our friend's annual huge Christmas party and the kids were all upstairs and we were having one of our typically wide-ranging discussions which somehow wandered onto whether p*dophiles have a gender preference. I tried to type "do p*dophiles have a gender preference" into my phone's search bar, an endeavour which I am shaky with at the soberest of times, which this was not, and I have no idea what I actually typed. Eve chose this moment to come down and see what was going on in the kitchen, strolled up and put her arm around me, glanced down at my phone and said casually "Hey Mom. Why are you on Grindr Gay Chat?"

Why yes, Grindr is now also in my computer search history. I should just worry less about spelling things correctly.

So. How's your pandemic going? Right for the junk, like ours?

Comments

Ernie said…
So glad that author wrote you back. How sweet! John Grogan, the author of Marley and Me, replied to my email once. He wrote a book called 'The Longest Trip Home' about being raised by EXTREMELY religious parents- similar to Coach's upbringing and a tad like mine. I thoroughly enjoyed it. Anyway, I think he grasped that you did not have a broken leg, but that is funny.

Thanks for the penis-on-your-screen up close and personal imagery. Laughed out loud. Glad you are not in junior high because I think the teachers would be alerted to your searches.
March 26, 2020 at 5:31 AM
StephLove said…
When Noah was in 4th grade, a search he was doing on the Crow tribe for a school project lead him to almost-naked pictures of Sheryl Crow.
March 26, 2020 at 5:44 AM
Busy Bee Suz said…
You never fail to get yourself into a pickle, do you? (pun intended)

I've not had any recent run in's with up close penis's (my poor husband) or pedophiles. But yours crack me up.

Bravo on the author replying to you. Surely he wasn't concerned with your two year gestation period. *giggle giggle*

March 26, 2020 at 6:13 AM
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