Tuesday, April 5, 2016

Just %@$$* WRITE Something!

So I seem to have slid into a little bout of Blog Paralysis after that one short and tasteless post-holiday... post. It was Christmas. Then I got sick. Then we went away. Then we came back. And here I am. In April.

How about a diverting little anecdote about how dumb my parents are?

The house was getting cleaned today, which makes Lucy lose her mind and act like an asshole, so I took her for a walk over to my parents' place, intending to leave her there while I ran errands until our cleaner was gone. I had said I would be there around eleven, and I was a little late, so I'm pretty sure my mom and dad didn't expressly pose themselves to look like a couple of seventy-somethings who had totally taken leave of their senses, but I can't be sure, since I came in just as they were trying to drag their old barbecue DOWN THE STAIRS of their deck into their back yard BY THEMSELVES.

So after I told them off for being insane and reckless, we had to get a hammer to pound off the metal tray because it was too big to fit down the stairs. That part was actually quite satisfying. Then my dad went back through the house to come around to the back yard while I stood behind the VERY HEAVY barbecue yelling at my mother to GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY as she stood there at the bottom of a staircase in the direct path of the very heavy barbecue. "I don't want you to get hurt" she said. I said "if something goes wrong, I'll let go of it, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF IT GETS BROKEN."

Honestly. How did they even make it to this age?




5 comments:

Alison said...

Awww, she thought she could still protect you from a super-heavy object by standing in its way. She probably sees you as about eight years old in her mind.

It's going to be...interesting to face the next few years as our parents age. The term "second childhood" is not inaccurate. However, since we no longer have my husband's father or mother (they died ten years apart), I think I can put up with mine a while longer. (Although I am not minimizing the aggravation it's normal to feel when parents start doing stuff like this.)

Steph Lovelady said...

You could call them ambitious instead...or optimistic. That's a good one.

Nicole said...

They must be related to my parents. This year for the first time ever my dad hired someone to clean out the eavestroughs. This is because he decided to clean them himself, not by using a ladder, but by standing precariously on the ledge of the deck. He fell off. His first words to my mom? "Don't tell Nicole." (She totally told me).

And yes, IT DOESN'T MATTER IF THE BARBEQUE GETS BROKEN, LET'S NOT KILL ANYONE MMMKAY?

Parents! My goodness.

Marilyn (A Lot of Loves) said...

My mom would have blamed me for causing this whole situation because I (you) were a bit late and so what else could they do but try to haul the BBQ down the stairs by themselves!? Also, I would have been harshly scolded for having a potty mouth. NO ONE SAYS THE F WORD AROUND THEM. EVER. :)

Kathi said...

LOL Allison - I can so totally see this!

Seriously though - your mom and dad are still young!! And its doing shit like that that keeps them young!!
Dad - your Uncle Ted (who is 83) was on top of the roof of their house last year, shovelling snow.

Go Wanda and Ian!! ;-)