To my American friends, I'm sorry. Not in any kind of distanced, pitying, smug way, because I believe we are headed in a similar direction here in Canada, and I am sad and sick at heart. I told myself I wasn't hoping for the other outcome because I was afraid to, but I realize that I absolutely was, because I was not prepared for how bad this would feel. Some random thoughts I am having about the whole thing. 1. I'm going to try not to hate anyone. For a while at least. I am totally cool with anyone else hating people that helped this happen. A lot of them did it out of hate. Some did it out of ignorance. Some are struggling and desperate and thought this was a solution. I know that's not an excuse, but it makes me think of when I read The Drowned and the Saved by Primo Levi. He said that he didn't feel like he could judge people who betrayed their fellow Jews for favours from their captors, because he was never given the opportunity and if he had he couldn't ...
Seriously you guys, I am SO SICK, and I have been stupidly engaging in presenteeism even though I am STRONGLY DISAPPROVING when other people do it. It's not because I think I owe anything to the school board (oh my goodness I do not). It's not because I have delusions of grandeur about how important my job is - wait, maybe I do, because at some of my schools my classes have already missed two weeks of library because of EQAO (which necessitated students writing exams in the library), and it's almost the end of the year, which means most of the librarians are closing the library to circulation soon if not now, and I really didn't want to make them miss one of the last library periods. Also, and I am putting myself out there so try to be kind, I have realized that there is a dumb little part of people-pleasing oldest-child self that always suspects that if I call in sick people think I'm faking, so it's a tiny bit gratifying to go in and have people say oh my GO...
Today I didn't feel like doing a whole room or cupboard or even drawer, so I decided to just do a bag. I have a (bad?) habit of cleaning up a place and throwing everything I don't immediately know what to do with in a bag to deal with later, then.... not dealing with it until much, much, much, much, MUCH later. Swistle commented on one of these posts that she was feeling inspired by the decluttering, which is funny because HER post about just getting rid of one or two things a day is what inspired me in the first place. The last bag I emptied was odd and random, but at least had stuff that sort of made sense. The number of old receipts and empty pill bottles in this one was embarrassing (although satisfying because I could just throw them out). When I cleaned out my bottom bathroom drawer I found something mystifyingly called 'face primer' - to be applied to clean and moisturized skin before applying makeup. So, this stuff neither cleans nor moisturizes and is NOT mak...
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