Gripping
Today I'm like a couple of Ingrid Michaelson songs. This one and this one, to be more precise.
I can't adequately thank everyone who commented on that last pitiful post, and I'm trying not to bother being embarrassed about it. It does get wearying - why do we have to keep learning the same lessons over and over? Why do I let myself slide down that same garbage chute of self-loathing? I know - I KNOW, for an irrefutable effing FACT - that I'm not the only one with too much stuff, or badly organized stuff, or lost stuff. Sometimes that's okay, and sometimes I really just need to spend a couple hours sorting stuff and getting rid of stuff, and sometimes just one look at the problem sends me screaming down a very dark hall, and I really really REALLY need someone (six or seven someones, preferably) to take me by the (figurative) shoulders and say "you're not the only one" and "it doesn't make you a horrible person" and "it doesn't mean you've wasted your entire life".
And then in a couple of months we get to do it all over again! FUN!
Enh, whatever. Our bodies require constant nourishment. No one says "why do I have to keep feeding this stupid body breakfast, lunch and supper every goddamned day? Screw you, body - you've been fed enough, no more food for you". Well, sometimes I do get tired of feeding all the stupid bodies around here all the meals all the time. But I still do it. Clearly my anxiety also needs regular infusions of compassion and reassurance dumped on top of it in order to stay manageable. I'm grateful that I have friends that are willing to provide it. I'm also grateful that I have friends who walk over here with a daughter on a sunny Sunday to distract me from cleaning out the basement by drinking rum and diet pepsi with me in the back yard while our daughters play basketball at the park and then come hang out with us being alternately annoying and entertaining. Rachel told us a funny story about trying to get Collette to fix the neckline of her dress at the store so she would stop flashing her bra at everyone, and then Eve remembered when Collette was pushing them on the raft over the waves at Sandbanks and her bathing suit kept falling down, and then Eve said "this is great - we're all telling stories about Collette's boobs!"
So I'm done agonizing over my basement for now. I do have to make a dentist appointment, though - stay by your computers, okay?
I can't adequately thank everyone who commented on that last pitiful post, and I'm trying not to bother being embarrassed about it. It does get wearying - why do we have to keep learning the same lessons over and over? Why do I let myself slide down that same garbage chute of self-loathing? I know - I KNOW, for an irrefutable effing FACT - that I'm not the only one with too much stuff, or badly organized stuff, or lost stuff. Sometimes that's okay, and sometimes I really just need to spend a couple hours sorting stuff and getting rid of stuff, and sometimes just one look at the problem sends me screaming down a very dark hall, and I really really REALLY need someone (six or seven someones, preferably) to take me by the (figurative) shoulders and say "you're not the only one" and "it doesn't make you a horrible person" and "it doesn't mean you've wasted your entire life".
And then in a couple of months we get to do it all over again! FUN!
Enh, whatever. Our bodies require constant nourishment. No one says "why do I have to keep feeding this stupid body breakfast, lunch and supper every goddamned day? Screw you, body - you've been fed enough, no more food for you". Well, sometimes I do get tired of feeding all the stupid bodies around here all the meals all the time. But I still do it. Clearly my anxiety also needs regular infusions of compassion and reassurance dumped on top of it in order to stay manageable. I'm grateful that I have friends that are willing to provide it. I'm also grateful that I have friends who walk over here with a daughter on a sunny Sunday to distract me from cleaning out the basement by drinking rum and diet pepsi with me in the back yard while our daughters play basketball at the park and then come hang out with us being alternately annoying and entertaining. Rachel told us a funny story about trying to get Collette to fix the neckline of her dress at the store so she would stop flashing her bra at everyone, and then Eve remembered when Collette was pushing them on the raft over the waves at Sandbanks and her bathing suit kept falling down, and then Eve said "this is great - we're all telling stories about Collette's boobs!"
So I'm done agonizing over my basement for now. I do have to make a dentist appointment, though - stay by your computers, okay?
Comments
to Phoenix for the Estrella War. The game was released on August 3, and is in stores now, but probably is where it will remain, sad
to say. Now, one of my co-workers was applying to the Secret Service and I knew that I was down as a reference for her.
Here is my blog - fotolog com
PS. I have a dentist appointment this afternoon. For BRACES. What was I thinking?
I would gladly send you a picture of one of my junk drawers or closets. All you have to do is ask. That's what friends are for : )
EVERYONE is in the same boat.
You just reminded me that I need to make a dentist appointment too. But considering my periodontist appointment last week involved me screaming (literally) I'm not overly anxious to make that call. Maybe I'll remember to do it next week. I'm too delicate at the moment.