I am anxious. And rambling.
So I'm shut of the bad drug. Well and good. I'm getting more good quality sleep than I have in years. Fine and dandy. But this week I'm having trouble falling asleep and staying asleep again and my anxiety is bad. Not for totally understandable reasons, like accidentally checking my luggage, but for really really stupid stuff, like picking Eve up at school for piano lessons or figuring out what to make for dinner or which book to read. I had stuff to do Monday Tuesday and Wednesday, which was good. Today I had nothing but making soup for a girls' cottage week-end and then my interview with Eve's teacher at four and then volunteering at the book fair until seven-thirty.
The soup is made. I drove Angus to school and went for a walk and mailed in an assignment and played Song Pop and took a shower and the soup was made before noon. I've been stuck ever since, waiting for four o'clock. Am I anxious ABOUT the interview? Hell no. My daughter is a teacher's dream. The interview will be dull in the extreme. Am I nervous about volunteering at the book fair? Nah. I can handle a bunch of hyped-up kids flipping out over moustache erasers and Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. So what am I anxious about? Dunno. Leaving the house? Getting dressed? A possible zombie apocalypse breaking out on the way? I can't even define the terms.
You know what annoys and baffles me? When people on tv who are related to or friends with someone who was murdered get questioned by the police and, upon being asked for an alibi, get all huffy and self-righteous and say things like "you can't possibly think I killed him". How stupid is that? The police don't know you personally, all they know is that a huge number of people are killed by their spouse or their parent or someone else they know. If the police asked me, I'd say "well yes, it's true that whenever he dropped French phrases into conversation or referred once again to his time in the foreign legion I imagined stabbing him in the head, but look, I've had such bad carpal tunnel since my first pregnancy I couldn't possibly have done it."
I read in the paper today that there's a mother in southern Ontario who's demanding that the school cut down some oak trees near the school playground because her child is nut-allergic and if they allow acorns anywhere near where her kid might be they can't really claim their school is a nut-free environment. All due sympathy to parents of kids with severe food allergies, but I'm thinking that if she wants the school to be completely nut-free she maybe shouldn't be allowed in it either. Is that mean? Sorry. It's the anxiety.
The soup is made. I drove Angus to school and went for a walk and mailed in an assignment and played Song Pop and took a shower and the soup was made before noon. I've been stuck ever since, waiting for four o'clock. Am I anxious ABOUT the interview? Hell no. My daughter is a teacher's dream. The interview will be dull in the extreme. Am I nervous about volunteering at the book fair? Nah. I can handle a bunch of hyped-up kids flipping out over moustache erasers and Diary of a Wimpy Kid books. So what am I anxious about? Dunno. Leaving the house? Getting dressed? A possible zombie apocalypse breaking out on the way? I can't even define the terms.
You know what annoys and baffles me? When people on tv who are related to or friends with someone who was murdered get questioned by the police and, upon being asked for an alibi, get all huffy and self-righteous and say things like "you can't possibly think I killed him". How stupid is that? The police don't know you personally, all they know is that a huge number of people are killed by their spouse or their parent or someone else they know. If the police asked me, I'd say "well yes, it's true that whenever he dropped French phrases into conversation or referred once again to his time in the foreign legion I imagined stabbing him in the head, but look, I've had such bad carpal tunnel since my first pregnancy I couldn't possibly have done it."
I read in the paper today that there's a mother in southern Ontario who's demanding that the school cut down some oak trees near the school playground because her child is nut-allergic and if they allow acorns anywhere near where her kid might be they can't really claim their school is a nut-free environment. All due sympathy to parents of kids with severe food allergies, but I'm thinking that if she wants the school to be completely nut-free she maybe shouldn't be allowed in it either. Is that mean? Sorry. It's the anxiety.
Comments
I just came home from Gal Smiley's teacher interview and I noticed while waiting in the hallway that I was unreasonably nervous. I don't think it's the same as your anxiety, but for me it felt just like I was back in school and getting called into the office or something. In the presence of a teacher I still get all apologetic and meek, it's weird. I have the Captain's interview in the morning and his teacher is a MAN and I am just about ready to pack it all in and move to Florida to avoid. Weird, huh?
I once had to supply an alibi after my work place was robbed and the police thought it was an "inside job." It was incredibly insulting and I totally had that "Do I look like a thief?" reaction, but only in my head. It wasn't logical but it's a blow to the ego to think that your aura of awesome law-abiding wholesomeness is not apparent to the world at large.
I know many people who are allergic to shellfish - should we hire teams of people to sweep the beach on a daily basis lest they come in contact with clam shells?
Fie on her, I say.
As for the random anxiety, I do not pretend that mine is anywhere near as bad as yours but like Lynn said, I had 7yo's parent-teacher meeting the other night and as I sat in the hallway waiting my turn I felt just awful. Sweaty palms, churning stomach, overwhelming need to pee, the whole thing. I actually texted my sister to tell her I had pre-exam jitters, it was that bad. So - zombie apocalypse or no, I feel you.
Actually, who am I to say what zombies do or don't suffer from? I don't even watch the movies. Maybe they do.
Shit, now I'm worried.
Gawd, but I feel bad for allergy parents - 'cuz you'll have idiots thinking that nut-jobs like that are actually representative.
As for the nut thing, at some point you have to accept that you can't control everything. For instance, my daughter's school is nut-free, but my home is not. Can I guarantee that she hasn't come in contact with peanut butter, carrying some invisible oils on her person into the school? I cannot. I do my best to avoid bringing nuts in because I understand the risk, but there's simply no way to completely eliminate it, and I'd hate to think we're going to start chopping down trees all across the country.