Thursday, April 14, 2011

What can I say? Sometimes it feels good to be mean.

I'm mostly over being cranky. Mostly. I'm generally a nice person. I smile at people when I walk past them, I hold the door for strangers, and if somebody does something embarrassing in public my first impulse is usually to help or pretend I didn't notice, rather than point and laugh or record it and post it on Youtube. But periodically I develop a mean sense of humour. Pam and I went to the craft show today and on the way there we mocked all the joggers running as fast as their scrawny little legs could carry them. Then we mocked the people who lined up to get in two-for-one with strollers and speculated on how many of those strollers were actually empty or filled with fake babies. We mused about whether Pam should force-bathe her husband with lavender bath bombs since lavender is supposed to be relaxing and he's been really stressed lately, which as you can imagine is really annoying for Pam. Then I remarked how it's really annoying when you're just walking by glancing at someone's stuff politely but then they corner you and explain in painful detail how they crocheted these floral toilet-seat-covers from recycled all-natural unbleached cat hair while you're trying to smile and thinking "Christ, I was just trying to get to the chocolate-covered soybeans at the next booth!". Of course, then I went into one booth that had clothes and I was trying to find a size and the chick there was talking to another exhibitor and totally ignoring me, and that pissed me off too. Okay, maybe I'm not totally over being cranky. But Pam and I loved the stuff at Yasmine Louis Textile Printing -- she takes shirts and silk-screens her own photographs and text on them(our favourite ones said "Sometimes TV is so good" and "I lied and went to a matinée", and "I changed my mind".) Plus she has fabulous hair - I bet people looked at her hair when she was two and knew she was going to be an artist. If I had better hair I totally would have amounted to more.

It was a pretty good day.

15 comments:

Nan | WrathOfMom said...

The fear of being cornered by the over-eager salesperson/artist/mad-crocheter is the reason I avoid craft shows. I find it so stressful to (in my estimate) reject their wares. For similar reasons I avoid trade shows, conventions AND farmers' markets (the latter also b/c they are over run w/ dirty hippies).

Betsy B. Honest said...

Craft shows are special, aren't they?

I hang with artisans. If one goes for beers with them after a show, and they always want to go for beers after a show, the hatred for humankind they unleash afterwards is shocking. Shocking!

If they have, however, paid me enough to work the show with them, I'm right in there. Where do all the nutters come from and why do they all want handmade jewellery?

Just don't make fun of any plump joggers though, okay?

Marilyn (A Lot of Loves) said...

I go to craft shows and no one ever talks to me. Maybe that's just the way it is in Vancouver. Or maybe I look like a bitch. I dunno. It doesn't matter though because I love craft shows, and I never have to worry about talking to someone I don't want to.

Mom of the Perpetually Grounded said...

I have to curb my mean streak too. It just comes to me but I try to bite my tonque-sometimes.

I used to do a lot of trade shows which are only slightly different than craft. The doily pusher was a pro. The chatter, should be fired. Unless she is the owner. Then she is just stupid. Hair is the secret? I am so screwed..

Pam said...

Love this: Then I remarked how it's really annoying when you're just walking by glancing at someone's stuff politely but then they corner you and explain in painful detail how they crocheted these floral toilet-seat-covers from recycled all-natural unbleached cat hair while you're trying to smile and thinking "Christ, I was just trying to get to the chocolate-covered soybeans at the next booth!". Sorry about pushing you into the booth... really.

People-mocking is one of my favourite hobbies. We do it so well. But I do love my new Yasmine Loise shirt. "One amazing perfect moment" is is one often spent with you. Cheers!

alison said...

That poor woman - living her life convinced that out there are people just waiting to be fascinated by the details of her cat fur bleach/crochet project. Oh the delusion.

And I do have to take issue with Nan's characterization of dirty-hippie-ridden farmers' markets. I go to the Carp FM every Saturday and there is nary a hippie in sight. Loads of urban hipsters, but no hippies. I think everyone should avoid the Farmers' Market -- that way the line up at the Bacon on a Bun stand will be that much shorter for me. :)

Lynn said...

Wow. She really *does* have fabulous hair!

Nicole said...

There was a local indoor farmer's market that I only went to because my friend sold his artisan bread there, and I always felt so guilty, rushing past the tables filled with assorted crap just to get some scones. But still. I just don't need any doilies/magnets/crocheted toilet paper doll covers.

Suniverse said...

I'm generally super polite to people and then end up thinking DEATH DEATH DEATH thoughts at them.

Craft shows exhaust me. So much ME ME ME that I can hardly handle being around people.

the mombshell said...

What?! Your hair is the awesomest!

Rachel Cotterill said...

LOL, I wonder if anyone's ever studied the relationship between natural state of hair, and degrees of success (however the heck you measure that!)......

Shan said...

I totally want to hit up a craft sale with you. Not sure what's up with my email. try shannyr at live dot ca

Sandra said...

Ya, I suspect good hair is a sign of success...guess I'll go find that hole to crawl into now...

Pauline said...

"But Pam and I loved the stuff at Yasmine Louis Textile Printing -- she takes shirts and silk-screens her own photographs and text on them(our favourite ones said "Sometimes TV is so good" and "I lied and went to a matinée", and "I changed my mind""

That's a really cool idea! I'd love to learn how to silkscreen shirts!

Kaycee said...

It really is all about the hair, isn't it??