What can I say? Sometimes it feels good to be mean.
I'm mostly over being cranky. Mostly. I'm generally a nice person. I smile at people when I walk past them, I hold the door for strangers, and if somebody does something embarrassing in public my first impulse is usually to help or pretend I didn't notice, rather than point and laugh or record it and post it on Youtube. But periodically I develop a mean sense of humour. Pam and I went to the craft show today and on the way there we mocked all the joggers running as fast as their scrawny little legs could carry them. Then we mocked the people who lined up to get in two-for-one with strollers and speculated on how many of those strollers were actually empty or filled with fake babies. We mused about whether Pam should force-bathe her husband with lavender bath bombs since lavender is supposed to be relaxing and he's been really stressed lately, which as you can imagine is really annoying for Pam. Then I remarked how it's really annoying when you're just walking by glancing at someone's stuff politely but then they corner you and explain in painful detail how they crocheted these floral toilet-seat-covers from recycled all-natural unbleached cat hair while you're trying to smile and thinking "Christ, I was just trying to get to the chocolate-covered soybeans at the next booth!". Of course, then I went into one booth that had clothes and I was trying to find a size and the chick there was talking to another exhibitor and totally ignoring me, and that pissed me off too. Okay, maybe I'm not totally over being cranky. But Pam and I loved the stuff at Yasmine Louis Textile Printing -- she takes shirts and silk-screens her own photographs and text on them(our favourite ones said "Sometimes TV is so good" and "I lied and went to a matinée", and "I changed my mind".) Plus she has fabulous hair - I bet people looked at her hair when she was two and knew she was going to be an artist. If I had better hair I totally would have amounted to more.
It was a pretty good day.
It was a pretty good day.
Comments
I hang with artisans. If one goes for beers with them after a show, and they always want to go for beers after a show, the hatred for humankind they unleash afterwards is shocking. Shocking!
If they have, however, paid me enough to work the show with them, I'm right in there. Where do all the nutters come from and why do they all want handmade jewellery?
Just don't make fun of any plump joggers though, okay?
I used to do a lot of trade shows which are only slightly different than craft. The doily pusher was a pro. The chatter, should be fired. Unless she is the owner. Then she is just stupid. Hair is the secret? I am so screwed..
People-mocking is one of my favourite hobbies. We do it so well. But I do love my new Yasmine Loise shirt. "One amazing perfect moment" is is one often spent with you. Cheers!
And I do have to take issue with Nan's characterization of dirty-hippie-ridden farmers' markets. I go to the Carp FM every Saturday and there is nary a hippie in sight. Loads of urban hipsters, but no hippies. I think everyone should avoid the Farmers' Market -- that way the line up at the Bacon on a Bun stand will be that much shorter for me. :)
Craft shows exhaust me. So much ME ME ME that I can hardly handle being around people.
That's a really cool idea! I'd love to learn how to silkscreen shirts!