Driving Eve Back to Hamilton

 11:00 a.m: Eve smooches Lucy a hundred times and Matt once, and we head out.

11:30 a.m: we decide we will only listen to musical soundtracks the entire drive

11:31 a.m: Legally Blonde soundtrack

Nicky Snelson (not a typo) belts out her songs while skipping and honestly, HOW?

12:45 p.m: Waitress soundtrack. Eve says it will never not freak her out that people will look at a book or or movie and just say "I shall make a musical out of this." Like, here's this whimsical story about a woman who suffers domestic violence regularly, unexpectedly becomes pregnant and has an affair with her doctor - FIRE UP THE PIANO AND BASS. A botched sex reassignment surgery? I HEAR VIOLINS. The Evil Dead? Urinetown? We are here for all of it, to be clear. 

1:00 p.m: we stop at an On Route, along with four thousand or so of our closest friends. It's Sunday! What the heck is going on. Everybody wants to spend the last week of August on the road?

1:10 p.m: we place our Burger King order at the kiosk and take turns going to the bathroom.

1:12 p.m: I am stretching my legs and idly staring at a pile of paper Burger King crowns on the counter and wondering if I should steal one.

1:14 p.m: Update: Eve has returned from the washroom and stolen a crown. 

1:15 p.m: There is a Coca-Cola Freestyle machine. My usual selection is half Diet Coke, half Cherry Vanilla Coke. Both of those are unavailable. I do something that I think is Diet Root Beer but is actually Diet Cream Soda, and then panic and push some other button at random. This decision will haunt me.

1:16 p.m: we procure nutritionally questionable food and return to the car and the highway.

1:25 p.m: I taste the drink and make the face and noise that Buffy makes in season 6 episode 5 after taking a shot. 

2:00 p.m: Hamilton soundtrack

We talked more about the Hamilton phenomenon when Zarah was here. Back to the 'what all the fuss is about', and then the inevitable backlash. As Zarah said, it's not meant to be non-fiction. It's a story, the way much of American history is a story, with the proviso that Lin-Manuel Miranda is not claiming that his story is true. And it's clever! There is wordplay, and there are callbacks, and the music is hella catchy. But I think this about many musicals that I see. Why did this one blow up? Impossible to say for sure, but sometimes things just do. And while it's a great musical (in my opinion), no one person or work of art can bear as much as people started to put on this one. Some people are mad because he hired black actors to play white historical figures. Others are mad because people are acting like this is revolutionary. It's all become so desperately overdetermined. 

2:20 p.m: I take another drink and Eve asks if I want her to dig out the cooler for a Diet Pepsi. Stupidly, I say no, and take another drink of the cough syrup/industrial soap/cherry scented outhouse deodorizer concoction I have inflicted on myself. 

2:43 p.m: we stop for a bathroom break. As we're trying to merge back onto the highway, a car in the lane we're merging into (with plenty of signal warning) speeds up and nearly forces us off the road. I lay on the horn with the full force of my not-inconsiderable weight. Eve says "they know they totally deserved that, they've got nothing to come back with." 

3:00 p.m: Still Hamilton soundtrack. 

4:30 p.m: We are approaching Hamilton and I get a little sad realizing we take a whole different exit to get to Eve's place now.

4:45 p.m: We do what the building management told us to do, which is to pull up in front of the building, put on our hazards, unload the car and take everything up in the elevator. This feels highly illegal and dangerous, but it goes off without a hitch (the 'hitches' I was envisioning being getting a ticket or stuff being stolen. Okay, honestly, Matt told us we could bring in a giant load and just leave some of it in the lobby while we took what we could up in the elevator. That was never going to happen. My worldview tends to oscillate between sappily idealistic and so cynical I wouldn't trust a baby.) The elevators are fast, everyone we encounter is friendly and helpful, and Eve, as usual, is stronger than I expect, so I don't have to damage my back. She sticks all the bins on the little dolly and gets them in, and I roll all the duffel bags.

We stand around feeling overwhelmed, then decide we should make her bed first so she can sleep there tonight if she wants to. 

The comforter is impossible to get out of its cloth bag.

"Not to shame you, but we might have to cut you out of these jeans, girl!"

After that we decide to go get dinner and then regroup. We waffle on whether to look for a place nearby or go to our default (Jack Astor's) and we decide to go familiar for now because we are tired and will absolutely suffer decision paralysis and end up crying. 

Favourite Broadway Musical? Thing you unpack first when you move? 

Five For Friday - oops, Six for Saturday

 1. I was looking through my camera roll and found these pictures of my mother's day and birthday gifts from Eve. She makes everything so beautiful all the way through.

2. I also found these pictures of Angus when he stood in a former Elmira teammate's wedding in August. He doesn't take a lot of pictures so when he's far away I don't see him virtually or in person - with Eve there are always pictures of what's going on. So these are precious.

3. We have reached a sort of breathing space with my parents situation (trying to move them from their house to something smaller). There is a 55-plus apartment building connected to the fancy retirement residence about a five-minute drive from our house. It looks perfect for them, but there is a waiting list (I am kicking myself for not thinking a couple of years ago that we should get them on some waiting lists. I guess the whole point of being in denial is often that you don't actually realize you're in denial?) The lovely woman who gave us the tour did say that even though the waiting list is robust, it is quite often that when someone's name comes up they are not ready to move, or do not want to move in the winter etc. My parents are fine to stay in their house for now, so if their name came up within a year we would be good. If something changes, we will adapt, but for now at least there is a solution everyone is happy with and every day does not bring new fretting.

4. I drove my mom to do her driver's license renewal yesterday - she is over eighty so she has to do the vision test and draw the clock. My dad is also over eighty, and super fun is the fact that they were born three years apart, so I have to take one of them to do this every September! 

The last two times were fine - it was a group thing, and my mom's was at the Stittsville Legion and my dad's was in a little strip mall. It was not made clear while I was booking my mom's appointment that it is no longer a group test, and the appointment I was making her was for a regular Service Ontario, which is always a jam-packed little circle of Hell, reeking of impotent rage and despair. It wasn't clear where she was supposed to check in, even, and she has hearing loss, so I had to fight my way to a desk to figure it out, which is fine, but for goodness sake - even if someone doesn't have hearing loss, it's a crowded room and there is plexiglass in front of the employees, should they not be making an effort to speak clearly anyway? She did have an appointment and they were on time, which was wonderful, even if when they called her up to counter #2 the employee at counter #2 looked mystified as to why she was there. I completely agree with all the signs saying that verbal abuse of employees will not be tolerated, but sometimes it seems like the employees have a little pact that they will do everything in their power to make people want to abuse them. 

Anyway, we both held it together and were much relieved when it was over. On the drive home I said I could give them feedback but it was probably useless because it wasn't like anyone can pick an alternative service with which to get this done. But! When I checked my email later, I found this.

I was tough, but fair.

5. Tuesday after Labour Day, Matt went back to work and I was alone in the house for the first time in quite a while. I came downstairs and sat down at the kitchen table to start working through my list. The first thing on my list was to make a vet appointment for Lucy - after her surgery last year we kind of got off our schedule. The employee asked if we had any concerns, and I said she did sometimes limp a little on her back leg. The employee said "the surgery leg?" I said "I think so, but now that the hair's grown back I'm often not certain". After that I hung up with a great sense of satisfaction, and then realized I had lost the list and the next thing on my list had to be finding the list.

6. I felt like my last post got a little unwieldy, so I am going to pick a meme at random from my new favourite meme delivery source. Oh! This one is relevant to the lactose intolerant content from my last post:

Plus Lucy, because Lucy.

Just Peachy

 I didn't blog about our May trip to the U.S. because I felt kind of guilty going to the U.S. and also like people might judge me, but I did mention it and no one judged me and now I want it in my memories somewhere because it was a really great time. 

To recap: Angus lives in Charlotte, North Caroline, working for Tread Athletics. Matt and I went down for Labour Day weekend shortly after he had moved but before he started working. He came home for over a week at Christmas and we hadn't seen him since then. My husband has a colleague/friend who lives in Atlanta Georgia who invited us and a couple other colleagues he is friends with to come to Atlanta so he could take us out for a nice dinner and we could come to his twins' high school graduation party. This would dovetail nicely with an Angus visit.

When we realized we hadn't selfied yet so took one at a crappy rest stop

When Matt first mentioned this, I was a little apprehensive about both going and telling Eve about it. She would just be moving home after leaving her student house and close friends for the last time and had mentioned that it would be good to have something to look forward to. I proposed this tentatively and she said it sounded pretty sick actually (I double checked that this was positive) and shortly after that her phone coughed up some ads for the Georgia Aquarium and well, you know how Eve and I feel about an aquarium. And Angus said he would come to Atlanta with us, so we were all in. 

Eve and I started looking at the tasting menu for this Michelin-starred restaurant on the plane and were shortly doubled over laughing at the fact that we didn't even know what half of the words meant. Jimmy Nardello pepper? Is that a red pepper in the witness protection plan? Is that a red pepper that pissed off Jimmy Nardello and had to go into the witness protection plan? Honshimiji? We tried googling this and got a desktop digital pet, re-googled and found out it was a mushroom. Chirashi? Sorghum tuile? I told Matt we might not be fancy enough for this restaurant. 

We flew in to Charlotte on Thursday night and had dinner with Angus at an Italian restaurant near his apartment that we tried the first time we were there and marked as an instant favourite. We were kind of just hoping there would be something for Eve on the menu that wouldn't be too lactose-laden, and then worried when it didn't look like there was (she can do pesto but not pesto cream, and the pesto was creamy), but the waitress and kitchen were amazing and basically just let her invent a pasta/olive oil/garlic/grilled chicken thing. This was really nice since on the plane it was basically like the menu had been planned by someone who hates the lactose intolerant. The choices were pasta with cheese or lasagna, which is basically pasta with cheese. The flight attendant found her a fruit bowl and a roll and then said "do you want dessert? Oh never mind, it's cheesecake." We had packed snacks so it was fine, just funny.

Angus drove separately from us to Atlanta on Friday so he would have his own car to head home while we flew home from Atlanta. 

We drove by the peach - Todd (Matt's colleague) confirmed that they do actually call it The Butt. I love peaches, but there's a small chance that blowing one up to this size to welcome people to your city sends the wrong message?

As we were approaching the hotel I saw someone in what I thought was a mascot costume and Eve said "I think it's furries." 

You guys - it was Atlanta Furry Weekend. It was a thing of wonder. They were everywhere. It was unseasonably cool, which thank goodness, because I get that Atlanta is probably a safer space in a conservative state, but FURRY. HOT. 

Neither of our kids is especially adventurous when it comes to food. I am not especially adventurous when it comes to food. We told them to just roll with whatever happened at dinner and we'd go to McDonalds after if necessary, but it was a really great dinner. They explained everything in great detail, there were a bunch of little courses, there was almost nothing that really freaked us out (raw fish and mushrooms are kind of no-go areas), and we were neither hungry nor uncomfortably full at the end. They switched a couple of courses out for Eve, including dessert, which made her feel special. 

One of the other colleagues brought her daughter who was around Eve's age, and the other brought her exceptionally cute baby, who was named Evelyn but Camille calls her Evie, the same as we call Eve Evie, so when Eve was carrying around Evelyn (which was often) they were called the Evies.

This baby had rizz to burn

Angus having a moment with the baby:

Camille asked me to recommend books for her to download for the plane, and we had a really fun book discussion - she and Eve both had James on hold and were comparing what number they had in the queue. For all the sciency women I know who read, I should probably make more of an effort to science? 

Matt had booked us into the Ritz (because it's a Marriott and as Marriott goes so goes our family nation) and they upgraded us to a health and wellness suite, which meant a yoga ball and a noise machine. We kind of made fun of this and then were all addicted to the noise machine by the end of the weekend.

The party was lovely but big - we mostly stayed in our corner and took turns juggling the baby, although her mom was so casual about lugging the baby around and texting one-handed and was totally my hero.

Presents for twins! When I saw this I wondered if we should have bucked the trend and treated them as individuals, but oh well. 

Matt met these twins many years ago when they were around ten and had a spirited discussion in which he tried really hard to convince them that the metric system was superior to the imperial. This has been a recurring theme with Todd and the kids, so in addition to some money we gave them these:

We went back to the hotel after and the kids got room service and Matt and I had a really nice dinner with the other colleague and her daughter. 

Saturday Matt and Eve and I went to the aquarium with Camille and the baby. It was very big and very cool. 

The beluga whales had toys!

Eve really really likes an aquarium.

Eve having a moment with a penguin.

We happily gave the dude below a little extra room. Do you still call someone a Furry if the costume is a fish? Does that make it a Scaly?

One thing that seemed weird was that we went looking for postcards at the aquarium - one of Eve's housemates had had something terrible happen near when they all moved out and Eve wanted to send her a care package. There were no postcards anywhere in the aquarium, and when we went to the airport and looked there, there were three available and two were really ugly. Are postcards not a thing anymore, or was this a regional aberration? 

More furtive furry pics:

Our trip home was wretched, not in a way that stained the trip or anything, or even in a way that's worth talking about except that we are massively privileged travelers at this point, so it was kind of hilarious. I hate flying and always assume it's going to suck, so anything less than a fiery crash is a win to me. We got to the airport and checked in, and then went through security which was a gigantic clusterfuck. There were no bins to put your stuff in, and then there were bins but no conveyor belt, and they wanted you to put all your stuff in separate bins and then somehow push twelve bins down to the x-ray machine while simultaneously taking off your shoes, and they hollered at everyone non-stop to keep the line moving. When we finally got through I marched decisively over to the little machine that asks you to rate your experience, with five little faces ranging from happy to sad. I punched in the sad face and the next screen asked me for my name, whereupon I completely chickened out and flounced off in a fit of performative outrage.

After this we got on a bus that was supposed to take us to our gate. Well, we got on and then we got off because they kept waving people on, but then realized there were no seats left and standing wasn't allowed, so we got off again. Then we got on one and it started driving.

And driving.

And driving.

Eve asked if we were being abducted.

Matt became convinced that we were on the wrong bus, which sort of enraged me because this is a thing he does. He will ask me to read a map (I assume it is evident that map-reading is not my forte) and if I manage to read it he will say my directions are 'counter-intuitive' (you're the engineer, man, east is east and west is west). We had checked multiple times that we were going to the international terminal, so I checked again. We were still going to the international terminal. We saw a building and a bunch of planes, and prepared to gather ourselves and exit the bus.

We drove past the building and planes.

Eventually we got to the terminal, and flew home on some tiny cramped planes.

Eve being over it all. 

We were standing up ready to get off the plane and Eve and I were next to a young man who had helped the flight attendants get some heavy things into the overhead bins before we left. He mentioned that he was monitoring his luggage and was worried that it looked like one piece hadn't gotten on the plane, and it had something really expensive in it. Eve saw my eyes widen and basically hissed "DON'T ASK IF IT'S A FUR SUIT" (it was totally a fur suit, I regret not asking, everyone we encountered from the furry community was super nice). 

Do you enjoy flying? Does anyone? How are your map-reading skills? Man, this question thing is hard.