I'm Siiiiick

 Actually I'm mostly better now and I feel like my body is kind of looking around going what the hell just happened.

The flu has been tearing through my schools like fire through a paper factory. I got my flu shot (and my Covid shot), I have washed and sanitized the first few layers of skin off my hands, I have tried to maintain a healthy distance, but I kind of knew I was a dead woman walking. We had weekend plans because it's December, and we could have cancelled it all but everyone was working under informed consent and still wanted to do everything.

Friday night we went to the Christmas outdoor market with Matt's colleagues, two of whom were from California and wanted to try a beaver tail and... be cold, I guess? I love the Christmas market and really like these women. We picked up Maryam to drive down, and on the way we were trading funny stories about my husband, who suddenly realized that connecting the woman who knew all of his embarrassing stories from the office with the woman who knew all of his embarrassing stories from whom was perhaps a regrettable choice. Then we realized that Camille knew many of his embarrassing stories from travel, which closed some kind of magical miserable loop for him and was very enjoyable for all of us.

Saturday was my second annual Festive Special date with Holly, Kerry and Nat. Our group chat keeps me from committing violence on myself or others several times a week. 

Saturday night we had no plans, so we asked our friends who we will be seeing this Saturday for the big Christmas party if they wanted to come over for a ... small Christmas party? We had decorations up and the main floor was clean for fifteen minutes and it seemed like we should do something festive. Matt bought some cheese and crackers, I bought twelve bags of chips, Margot and Michael brought Lynzie for Lucy to play with, it was a really fun, chill night. 

(Adorable picture of Lucy and Lynzie that Blogger will not allow me to show to you because it is dumb and hates joy)

Sunday I woke up and I was sick. And worried I'd infected everyone else. But everyone else who was sick was sick right then or the next day, or is still not sick, so I am not Patient Zero. I thought it was just a cold because I didn't feel horrible, and usually the flu takes me down hard overnight. By bedtime I had a fever and my throat felt flayed and my ribs were so sore that coughing was agony. The last time I had the flu Matt and Eve had to fly to Florida without me for March Break and I almost died, so then I was kind of scared. But I slept for most of Sunday and Monday and by Tuesday felt like I was turning the corner. Last night was a kind of stoned-on-cold-meds fever dream that I spent half asleep and half awake and middle-of-the-night texting my niece who is in England and Suzanne who is in perimenopause.

My niece is brilliant and hilarious and we have a lot of similar mental health issues, so our text chain is robust and far-ranging. One of the best episodes in our history was when I met her first girlfriend and tried to say 'hey' but choked a tiny little bit and so it sounded the slightest bit like 'gHEY', which had us all doubled over howling with laughter. Her new girlfriend is bi, so under the influence of opioid cough syrup I texted "hey, remember when I met your first gf and said gay? I was thinking what if I meet this one and it all goes great and then at the end I say 'bye' and you scream "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU". 

Today I ventured back into the world (masked again) and am only sort of experiencing that terrible alienated-from-the-world feeling that comes from trying to get back in the swing after being out of the swing. I haven't baked anything or wrapped anything yet, but there are actually some days left before Christmas (time has truly lost all meaning). My husband who supplied me with icy drinks and popsicles to soothe my burning throat seems unscathed by illness so far (I made sure he got his shots before he traveled for three weeks out of the last four, and often his immune system is what we call "China Strong", so fingers crossed). The kids are both vaccinated and okay - it feels counter-intuitive to be bringing them towards, rather than away from, my flu-ridden city. We just have to make sure my parents stay protected. 

Love and bleach, friends. If you can't stay sane, stay healthy.