Don't Be a Pill

 Okay, in the series of posts of things I'm a little embarrassed about: medication.

I would like to say I'm not at all embarrassed about the medications I take, which is much more true than it was a few years ago. My mother mentioned the other day that her doctor was shocked that she doesn't take any daily medication, and she's eighty in September, so I get being a little ... not proud, I guess, because most of it she didn't really control, but happy?

I take .... adds in head, takes an unforgivably long time .... six or seven pills in the morning and a nasal spray. One pill is a prescription - proton pump inhibitor/ acid reducer. One is a prescription only because it's cheaper - allergy medicine (I have terrible allergies that apparently aren't actually allergies according to the allergist, but allergy medicine helps them, so I take it, because otherwise I'm a snotty mess). Two or three are vitamin D pills - two 1000 IU in spring and summer, three in fall and winter. Magnesium for restless legs, which I've had intermittently since I was a teenager but was getting more and more often and it was wretched. Prescription nasal spray because of the aforementioned allergy-or-not snotty mess.

In the evening, four and a half pills. Two and a half are antidepressants - one is the kind I've been on for years and years, after trying for a couple of times to switch or go off it and having things go horribly wrong (that time I felt like I was dying after not taking drugs), and the booster I was given last fall when my doctor agreed that I probably have ADHD (without the H) and said this is a good antidepressant for people with ADHD. One is gabapentin because the magnesium wasn't giving enough relief from the restless legs (so maybe I should stop taking the magnesium. Shit. Never thought of that. Hang on, looking it up. What do you know, it says magnesium might lower gabapentin's effectiveness, but that should be helped by taking them at least two to four hours apart, WHICH I AM, I'm a genius). One is a low dose of blood pressure medication which I was given after this fun little episode (I'm not giving you homework, this post just has excursions- and that I was embarrassed about, but it's whatever. My doctor consolingly said, "so you have high blood pressure - so does the rest of the world", which is not true, but was kind and funny.

So yeah, not so much embarrassed about the stuff I take as the way it's all arranged (if you can even use that term).

For behind the doors of this poor, innocent armoire....

lurks absolute chaos.

On the left...

.

..we have the morning meds, beside stacks of books I don't have shelf space for. I also shoved my new shower curtain in there for when I get my bathroom painted and can put it up. I go from right to left, and then grab the nasal spray from the box where the evening meds are kept, because... jesus, I just realized this makes the absolute least sense of an already senseless routine.

On the right...

we have the evening meds, on top of and inside a box of old Broadway show soundtrack CDs, which I still have because...why? Uncertain. I start with the ones precariously balanced on top of the CDs, and then go down to the ones in the box that the CDs sometimes collapse on top of. 

To the extreme left and back, we have occasional-use stuff - migraine meds, Tylenol with codeine, melatonin and *whispers* marijuana products. Also a couple of things from the book subscription a friend got me where you get little presents corresponding to pages of the book, and I haven't finished the third book yet because it's not a library book and there's no deadline, so I haven't yet let myself open the present. 

Oh, and up top there's the bin of all the other crap - Advil, Tylenol, cold medicine, nausea medicine, ancient Ativan (just kidding, I think I took the last one of those in the last post) etc. 

Why am I like this? WHY? I only recently looked at this whole ridiculous mess and realized how ridiculous and messy it is. Do I occasionally very nearly take the wrong meds at the wrong time? Why yes, yes I do. I was talking to Eve about this and said I really needed to get a weekly pill counter thing but they seem so old-persony and clinical and ugly and she said "there are cute ones, Mom". Are there really, though? Huh, well this one isn't bad. And these are... possibly confused about fruit designation, but not terrible. 

I think we all agree things have to change here Is there hope?

Perhaps. On the other side of the room....

My charge cords for my phone and ipad used to be plugged into the power bar between the chair and the window. This was terribly inefficient, I would have to lean over and nearly fall out of bed or - gasp!- GET OUT OF BED when I was already half asleep to plug things in and set them on the arm of the chair. I finally got my ass in gear and ordered another power bar for between the bed and the bedside table, and now the cords are neater, it's easier to plug everything else in and I am always inordinately pleased with myself when I use the setup. 

Am I in the post? Am I helping?

So past experience dictates that every few months, maybe years (decades?) I am able to use my powers of logic and organization to make things a tiny bit less lame. Stay tuned.