A Very Monday Monday
It's been a weird day. I got up and went to work, and about an hour in I realized I was feeling out of sorts and bad about myself, which hardly ever happens at work. It is extra weird this year, when it's already a little weird only working one day a week at a school. When I have classes I always say I am very close with a very small segment of the school population. This was different with my school that I was surplussed out at - I was very friendly with the principal and vp and office staff, partly because the office was right across from the library and partly because they're just very friendly and we got along well. The vice principal is a wonderful, wonderful woman who used to be the vp at my kids' elementary school when they were there.
So this year with no classes, I just go about my work and sometimes feel like a ghost wandering around the library. Once last week I went into the staff room to put library notices in teacher mailboxes and a new teacher that I had met in the library on the first day of school asked me how I was doing and I almost wept with gratitude. Today my back was sore and I was finding it painful shelving books on the lower shelves, and this made me feel crappy that I only work one day a week and can't even do that well.
I concentrated on tiny good things. This school has beautiful new library carts that are shiny purple, and pushing them around makes me feel like an honest-to-goodness librarian. I held doors open everywhere I went - in the school, at Indigo buying a friend a birthday gift, at the grocery store - and people were sweet and grateful. I went to the bakery I always go to after work to get chocolate scones for Eve and Matt and a croissant for me, and I thought of it as supporting a local business instead of buying too many carbs. At some point I realized I had a migraine coming on, and then everything made a lot more sense.
I got home, put away groceries, cooked some noodles and took some chicken out of the freezer so Matt and Eve would have dinner, dragged myself upstairs into a cool shower, and laid down. I had a monster headache-killing (partly) nap and a bunch of really whacked-out dreams. There was a giant department store where there were called "Drama" and "Toilets of the World" and "Anger". I had an argument with my mother who said I shouldn't be sleeping during the day WHILE I WAS SLEEPING DURING THE DAY - so meta. I was drinking wine but I kept forgetting a glass or the wine bottle and the kitchen was far away and I kept having to walk all the way back. I drank something that was really good, but then I noticed it was blue, and the label said Hawaiian Punch, and a guy walked into the kitchen and I said penitently "I fail at drinking". There was an exploding truck.
And then I woke up. And now I'm here. And so are you. How are you?