Today is the day after Eve's ninth birthday

When I was pregnant for the second time, I waited anxiously to feel the baby start moving.

I'd done this once. I thought I knew what to expect.

Good heavens, I thought, what on earth is this?

Flutters? Please.

Kicks? Ha

It felt more like roundhouse haymakers.

Firecrackers in my belly.

Jack Dempsey going three rounds with my spine.

"Look, Baby," I said,

""Whatever it is, we can discuss it,"

"Is it the turkey sandwich? Would you prefer egg salad?"

"Are we talking a marked preference for reality television over vampire dramas?"

No answer.

Just a concerted effort to switch the positions of my liver and kidneys

My friends said "how does it feel?"

I said "it feels angry!"

I asked the doctor "is it all the pistachios?

Do you think I've made this baby........ NUTS?"

I looked at my strapping little boy and though

"Watch out, kiddo - this one's going to give you a run for your money."

The days turned, as they do

The baby inside came out, as ever they have.

The midwife said, "it's a girl!"

I said "WHAT??!!"

Then I though "SHE'S got some explaining to do.

I mean, really - what WAS all that?"

Now I look at her and think,

"If she only knew how wrong I was",

It's silly, really.

Because I should have known all along...

........that she was dancing.

Happy birthday, Crazy Baby.