I'm going to be web content!

I whine a lot. I recognize this. It's not because I expect sympathy -- I don't. I don't even give it to myself. I am rationally capable of recognizing that I have a very nice life. Great children, great husband, great parents, great sister, great friends (gah, the monotony -- note to self: accumulate some associates with toxic personalities to bitch about). Nice lifestyle, good pair of running shoes, great kitchen table, nice yellow vase of red-orange tulips. Some real time to myself during the day, starting last September. Sadly, I'm also middle-class Western neurotic enough to have a sneaking suspicion that there are a bunch of women out there who have all this AND hair that doesn't suddenly decide to take some time for itself, toes that don't overlap so toenails become an urgent and painful issue, and brain chemicals that don't suddenly find English muffins a source of unutterable chartreuse-flavoured despair every third day and alternate Tuesdays.

Like I said -- I whine. Often I mean it humorously. Often I hope that by framing it humorously I will persuade myself to see it that way. Often it works. Sometimes, not so much.

I don't feel great today. I still have this ongoing sinus problem. I couldn't fall asleep last night and when I finally did, I woke up coughing and stuffed up a couple hours later and couldn't fall asleep again. I feel headachy and slow. I spent the day reading Lectures and making notes, which was a perfectly legitimate and even necessary use of time, at my kitchen table with my vase of tulips, in the sun. And felt guilty and unproductive because, I don't know, I wasn't writing a book or running a marathon or...something, I don't even KNOW what. It's annoying.

Well, screw that. Let's talk about Mary Lynn. My good friend who I've never technically met, but I LOVE. Why do I love her? Because she's funny and smart and from the first email she sent me her voice made me feel like she was someone I wanted to know. But wait! There's more. When I kept complaining (whining) about not being able to make links in blog posts, she sent me an email with detailed instructions about how to make links in blog posts. It's because of her that I can spout off about what I'm reading or my new favourite cracker or my sister's new favourite gift basket accessory. This is something that makes me veritably chortle with glee every time I do it -- it's true! I chortle! And wait! There's EVEN more. Soon after we started our mutual stalkerdom (following each other), Mary Lynn sent me a link to Anansi Press, which was asking for bloggers to fill out a questionnaire in order to be sent books for reviewing. I filled out the questionnaire, but I was pretty sure they would just laugh and hit delete since I had to answer questions like 'average number of commenters' (uh, 1.5?), and 'site metrics' (um, eleven centimetres?). But today? THIS was in my inbox:

Hi Allison,

Thanks for filling out our blogger review questionnaire! I had a peek at your blog and it's great — very funny. Just wanted to let you know that we popped a copy of Pascale Quiviger's The Breakwater House in the mail for you to read and review, if you like. Hope you enjoy!


Trish Osuch
Web Content Manager
House of Anansi Press
110 Spadina Ave., Suite 801
Toronto, ON M5V 2K4
416-363-4343 x42

Free book! In the mail! From someone who professes to sort of maybe care about my opinion! Doesn't that just strike the perfect balance between 'doesn't really matter' and 'really doesn't suck'? And doesn't Mary Lynn (linking again JUST BECAUSE I CAN) sort of rock all the way to the moon and back? And don't you think my pretentious faux-erudite book review will be more fun than all the whining? I do. I really do. Plus, she said my blog was funny, out of all the other available adjectives (self-pitying, maudlin, horrifyingly shallow and self-obsessed, nasty, brutish, short). I'm calling it a good day, on balance (ha. balance).


Patti Murphy said…
Good Christ yer funny. Figure am going to hell anyway, so might as well add jumpin' Jesus expletives here and there.

I love your reviews. I'm never going to read most of the books that you review (too hard), but I use your reviews as a sortof Coles notes for the occasional adult conversation I have with the occasional person I know who reads books. Yay Allison! Yay Mary Lynn!
Mary Lynn said…
Awww...I'm all speechless. I called Ed over and made him read all the nice things you said.

And I'm soooo happy that Anansi got back to you about reviewing! Looking forward to reading what you have to say because, while it is to be seen whether the book is interesting or funny, I'm sure your review will be both.

And just so's ya know, I totally think you're awesome, too.
Magpie said…
Cool! And good luck!
Anonymous said…
Your blog IS funny. And Mary Lynn DOES rock. And I can't wait to read the book review.

That beats the PR email I got today inviting me down to the Bata Shoe Museum for something or other. It turns out that the Bata Shoe Museum is in TORONTO. On the one hand, flattering to be thought of. On the other hand, why send me an invitation to something that is more than halfway across the country? Gah!
Woo hoo!!! Congratulations! I'm referring to the book reviewing, but congratulations are in order for learning how to link. You can do the link thing in your emails too.
Julie said…
love the pc cracker's. curious about big papa's portly dill...

"Bibliomama"... um, don't you think they might have thought it a great place to have book reviews even before they read your blog? ;-)

And let's spread more lurv. Mary Lynn is a sweety. And this Patti Murphy person seems pretty funny too. I can get on with someone who is willing to let the jeasus expletives fly. And you? You make tea, water and other liquid shoot through my nose when I read your blog. I really need to stop drinking when I click over here.

and me? well, i'm just amazing.
Rosemary said…
Jesus saves, jesus saves. :) :) :) Big congrats and hugs.
SuziCate said…
It just lost my comment...dang what did I just write? I'll try again. congrats on your free book! Lovin' that you're using your new skil...go go go! I have a pair of running shoes, too-guess I should use them ,huh?
Lynn said…
I also love Mary Lynn!! Let's start a fan club!
Mary Lynn said…
Gurg...I just read all the comments and I'm totally blushing.

Popular posts from this blog

Clothes Make the Blog Post

Books Read in 2021: Four-Star YA Horror

Mean Spirits