Vancouver-ing While Anxious

Eve and I didn't go to Bluesfest for the first time in years last year - the lineup just didn't really hit for us, and it made sense to save the money for something else. I didn't buy passes this year either, but my lovely friend Pam had an extra ticket to see Hozier on Friday night and was willing to trade it for my knowledge of the best parking and setting up routine. There were many years of Bluesfesting While Anxious, but at this point I've done it so much that the anxiety has subsided considerably. 

Eve and I saw Hozier with friends at the Folk Festival a few years ago and the show was amazing. I had listened to some of his new stuff and didn't like it quite as much, but he played a lot of old stuff this time and even the new songs were fun to watch live - also, he didn't play our favourite song the first time we saw him, and he did tonight. He always seems really lovely in person also (I know it could be a front, I have given up thinking I know anything about celebrities, I only comment on whether I like their work because man, it is crushing when you learn that someone you think is a good person has done really shitty things.)

It's such a cool experience, being outside as the sun goes down, watching people take so much joy in what they do. Seeing live music will never not be magical to me, all the more when it's outside.

 Eve and I are leaving for Vancouver on Saturday. It's a pretty chill week - getting some medical appointments out of the way, meeting with a real estate agent with my parents, getting pedicures - so I have plenty of time to get organized and pack, but I'm still anxious because I am me. I'm also having a lot of knee pain, despite throwing everything at it - massage last week, chiropractor and physio this week (he stuck so many needles in my leg, you guys. So many). I was fretting pretty hard about this, and then I came to the realization that people with bad legs are allowed to go on vacation. People with NO legs are allowed to go on vacation. I might not be able to walk quite as much as I would like (there's a Seawall, I really want to walk the seawall), but I can still walk, and take a bunch of Advil, and when I get home I'll be a bit non-functional for a few days before I start rehabbing the knee again, and THAT'S OKAY. Everything doesn't have to be perfect. We will visit people we love, and see cool museums, and look at the ocean, and it will be fine.

The massage last week reminded me of something I forgot to blog, even though it was like the blog post composed itself. Some time in April, I think, I went for a massage at 2:30 in the afternoon. I never wash my hair before a massage, even if it needs it, because not only does massage oil get in the ends when she massages my back, but often at the end she will massage my entire scalp and head, so you can imagine what kind of deranged electrified octopus I am walking around with after that. Add to this that I had not yet learned that I shouldn't move my bangs out of the way to lie on my face (even though I hate the feeling of my face being ON my hair), because it makes my bangs stick straight out afterwards, and no amount of coaxing will lay them down again.

I am self-conscious about my appearance at the best of times, and clearly this is not the best of times. But I am also advanced in age, and more willing to be in public looking less than polished (which is never terribly polished in my case anyway, but I generally endeavour to have the majority of my hairs pointing downwards). I really wanted to stop at Farm Boy on the way home, rather than going home and showering and going out again. So I decided I just would.

As I got out of the car in the Farm Boy parking lot, it started to rain, which just added to the overall disastrous effect. "Whatever", I thought, "nobody stares at other people while grocery shopping, and it's unlikely I will see anyone I know."

You know what's coming, right?

I made it around the entire store unscathed, avoiding eye contact with anyone. I got in line. I heard this bright, friendly voice say "Allison?" from right ahead of me in line.

I mean, it wasn't an ex-boyfriend, which I guess would have been worse, but it WAS the most gorgeous teacher from my Monday school, which had just let out for the day. Seriously, you guys, she is SO beautiful. She has long black hair and perfect skin and everything she wears hangs on her perfectly and she looks like she's constantly backlit. She apologized for startling me - maybe she assumed that's why the majority of my hair was lurching skyward.

Well-played, Universe.