First World Christmas Problems and My Adorable Snowman

My mind is doing somewhat better than usual for this time of the year. My body is being a bit problematic. I took on a few extra shifts, which were fun and fulfilling but put extra strain on my back, which was already complaining about all the standing for baking and cooking for the Christmas party and book club (both were a blast, no regrets). My hands feel weird - swollen and sore. I think I just need some exercise and a massage to release some pinched nerves and I probably definitely don't have MS or hand cancer. I am fighting the thought that nothing will get better and I will feel like this forever, and Facebook memories are helping because they remind me that last year at this time I had a bone spur kicking up hell in my right foot and I couldn't walk without a limp and that situation has been remedied nicely. I just need to walk on the treadmill, drink some water, and not be on my feet carrying huge armfuls of books around for a couple of weeks which, huge coincidence, is totally about to happen.

So yesterday one of those things happened that made me feel like, no matter how much I work on developing better habits and getting my shit together, I am destined to be an irremediable fuck-up. I have started putting things in my phone calendar, including when my cleaner comes, so I'm not caught by surprise every second Tuesday because I've forgotten that 1) it's the second Tuesday and 2) it's Tuesday and 3) I have a cleaner. I've cleaned up the area around the front door so I know where things are when I'm leaving for work in the morning. I pack up everything I need the night before and lay it all out.

So yesterday I had extra things to take in the morning because I was bringing baking and Christmas cards for my fellow library tech who I overlap with for an hour, the secretaries and the janitor. I got up early to make sure I would be organized. I got everything into the van (Matt was on his way to pick up Angus with my vehicle) drove down the street and realized I had forgotten my lanyard with my school keys and my winter coat, which I don't wear in the car but always have close by so my mother won't be able to tell me how I'll die of hypothermia if I get in an accident and am stuck in the cold with no coat. No problem, I have lots of time. I drive back, grab my coat and my lanyard, but for some inexplicable reason I don't put it around my neck, I throw it in the passenger seat with my coat.

I drop off Lucy at my mom and dad's, drive to school, start handing out baking and realize I don't have my lanyard. Not a huge deal, right, I maybe dropped it in the driveway and it will probably be there when I get home. Except, um, maybe for some inexplicable reason there's also a house key on it? Why would there be a house key on it? I don't remember. It's not smart to leave a house key on it. I could lose it, I LOSE THINGS. And now I'm stuck at school for the next few hours and what if some nefarious delivery person comes to deliver a package, finds the key and now has the ability to break into my incredibly messy house?

I was so mad at myself. Why did I leave the stupid house key on the stupid lanyard? Why didn't I hang it around my stupid neck? I called my dad, who lives really close by, and asked him to drive over and find it. I texted Matt and apologized for being an idiot who was going to get all our stuff stolen out of our incredibly messy house. He was very gracious and told me not to worry. My mom called and said my dad found the keys. I still haven't taken the house key off, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME??

In conclusion, I will leave you with pictures of my two new Christmas decorations from the craft show. We have a lot of Christmas decorations and I only buy new ones if they really call to me.

This is from a woman that makes angel ornaments with names on them - my mom has been buying them for Eve for years. I saw this and loved the simplicity. 

I was talking to another woman that I didn't recognize (I've been going to this craft show for about ten years, so I'm totally buds with some vendors). Her stuff was nice but not really my style, Then I looked down on a lower shelf and saw this little dude's smile and I was helpless. 

I love them and they make me happy. Today I am going to bake a couple more things but try not to spend too many hours standing up, write some embarrassingly late Christmas cards and maybe watch an inappropriate movie later, with my kids who are BOTH HOME for the next two and a half weeks. I've already drunk a ton of water and I have to pee every twenty minutes, go me.

A Day in the Li(fe)brary

I worked at a new school yesterday. My friend is the v.p. and was in a jam. I never want to work extra shifts the last two weeks before Christmas - I have fourteen pounds of butter and six rolls of wrapping paper on my table waiting for me to work some kind of magic, and I really enjoy my barely-there work schedule at this time of year - but I always do, because stuff happens and people need time off, kids generally hate missing library, and extra money is involved and I like buying presents.

8:30 a.m.: I met the office manager, who was really lovely. She showed me around the whole school and told everyone we passed "we have a librarian for the day!" The staff room door was newly painted and not labelled, so she told me it was the second door on the left.

8:45 a.m.: I was settling in in the library. For once I had the presence of mind to email the tech support woman and make sure there was a login for the library software (it's called Alexandria, isn't that cute? I think it's cute) because there's nothing worse than the kids being all happy that there's a substitute librarian and then you can't get into the system to check their books in or out.

9:00 a.m.: First class. I had to pick a read-aloud, which is always a little stressful. It has to be short enough that they don't get bored, simple enough that everyone can follow, and preferably funny so they don't just sit there staring at you. I picked one called That's Not Santa, wherein Santa loses his red suit and tries on various other outfits for the elves, including long johns so it has the word 'underwear' in it. This was fully as big a hit as I hoped it would be, so that was satisfying.

9:15 a.m.: There is an announcement asking Mrs. Zanzibar's students to return to their classroom.

9:30 a.m.: Second class of kindergartners. They are darling little snot factories, and there is no library office with a sink in it. I realize I'm going to be dashing to the washroom to wash my hands a lot.

10:00 a.m.: I try to find the staff room and miss the right door and get totally lost.

10:30 a.m.: There is a "high-behaviour" class that comes in to exchange books and then plays ukuleles. They are learning "Oh Christmas Tree" and they play together and then whoever wants to play it alone has a chance to. The ones that play random chords and sing tunelessly and the one who plays perfectly and sings like an angel make me tear up equally.

11:00 a.m.: I am having a really lovely day, but I'm worried about poor Mrs. Zanzibar, whose students are still being asked to come back to her class.

11:15 a.m.: I meet a really lovely supply teacher with a British accent and help her figure out the class's library procedure.

1:00 p.m.: A boy comes in with his class but spends the whole library period under the big table. The teacher tries to get him out, with no success. At the end, he comes up to me and shows me what he has picked up from under the table: string, elastics, candy wrappers, a big paper clip and a small round jingle bell. He says he'd like to keep the jingle bell, which is fine with me.

1:30: Another class comes in with two boys who won't settle down and keep talking and lifting up tables. I am a pretty big believer that there aren't many bad kids, just a lot of kid who don't know how to manage their emotions and express themselves effectively, but sometimes it's really hard to keep this at the front of my mind, especially when they seem to think their bad behaviour is HILARIOUS. I do a lot of deep breathing.

2:00: The substitute teacher brings her class in. They want a story and the one I've been reading seems a little young for them, so I find a Canadian Jingle Bells book ("Dashing through the snow on a rusty old ski-doo" etc"). I start reading it and then the teacher says "it seems like you could sing this book!" just as an observation, which naturally prompts a few kids to start chanting :"sing it! sing it". So I do. It is an experience akin to the first time I sang the Happy Birthday song when waitressing at Red Lobster. I have a pretty good singing voice. Jingle Bells (and the Red Lobster Happy Birthday song) are not terribly demanding. The surprise and delight of the teacher and the students were all out of proportion to the feat. But then I asked the kids to sing the last couple of choruses with me and they did, which surprised and delighted me in turn. It was just a silly thing that had a huge rate of return on investment.

2:30: Something called a Jingle Jangle Parade came through, and it was loud and happy and jingly and Christmassy and a lovely near-end to the day.

3:00: As I'm walking to the office to deliver my timesheet, I hear a ten-ish year-old girl say "I have only one request - *belting out* Pour some sugar on meee". Then, as I turn to see a horrified eight-ish-year-old boy staring at her, she says reassuringly "it's a song".

I'm going back next week. Looking forward to it.

My tenses are all over the place in this post, and I'm too lazy to go back and fix it all. I need to get home and wrap some butter or something.

Love it or List it, Gingerbread Edition

You may remember the inaugural Gingerbread House Building event from last year, oops no, it was two years ago, what the hell happened last year, don't care, moving on.

We have the Lovers of Tradition:

Then the "We don't really play or build well with others, but we're hella cute and eventually we will get over all the expletives and insults we screamed at each other and be friends again" brigade.

 

And finally the "We went another way entirely" contingent.