Happy Christmas

 I finally read something today that made me feel more at peace with how roller coastery my feelings always are around Christmas (even though it's pretty screamingly obvious, I think, that in spite of what Hallmark tells us, Christmas is seldom uncomplicatedly joyous). 

The kids came home! Matt went to get Eve and brought her home on the 19th, Angus flew in on the 20th. the 21st and 22nd there was more baking, family hang time and movie watching, Eve seeing her friends, Angus and I puzzling, everybody getting dog snuggles. 

The 23rd we did the annual tree-decorating and Christmas photo shoot. Past props have included Nana's old teacups, The Collected Works of Shakespeare, covid masks, tools (the year the house was falling apart), champagne glasses, and wrapping paper tubes. I was feeling a little uninspired this year - we finally went with fake flowers.

We watched an episode of The Simpsons (it's the one show every member of the family likes) called Parahormonal Activity, in which Marge enters perimenopause. At the end, Eve said quietly "there's a really popular meme from Euphoria called 'Is this play about us?' I feel like that's relevant for you here." It was really, really funny and also *sobs hysterically*. Also, in the show the medical establishment has nothing to offer Marge for her issues but treats Homer's erectile dysfunction as a medical emergency, and Eve recalled a time in her lab where the prof asked them to guess the top three medical issues in terms of funding, and Lauren guessed longevity for number one, which is particularly hilarious because, of course, it's ED. The Simpsons is so educational!

Christmas Eve my parents always come over and I do appetizers. There was really great conversation - both my parents grew up in rural Saskatchewan, my mom on a farm and my dad in a 'hamlet' in Northern Saskatchewan, only 50 miles south of the Northwest Territories. The story Matt always brings up is that my dad could only ride his bike in the winter when the river froze and provided a flat service. He also couldn't go to school in winter when the river wasn't frozen enough, and in summer had to cross the river by boat. 

Christmas Day our usual routine is we get up and do presents with the kids, then go to my parents' for breakfast (where my sister's family stays when they're here, which they were not), then come home and putter around or nap and then my parents come over for dinner. This year I proposed that we switch it up, and have my parents come here in the early afternoon, have an early dinner and finish up before we're all falling asleep. 

I do ninety percent of the Christmas prep, up to Christmas Eve. My mom used to cook Christmas dinner, but now we do the turkey and my parents do the sides, and Angus picks up my parents and brings the food over.  And by 'we' do the turkey, I mean Matt does the turkey, which is possibly the greatest Christmas gift of all. This means my Christmas responsibilities are basically over by Christmas morning, which is good because my body and brain have generally started shutting down by then. 

Not gonna lie, I believe the plan was Pure Genius on my part.  My parents came over, Angus got home from his Christmas weight-lifting, I put on The Muppet Christmas Carol just for fun, but my mom had never seen it and ended up loving it, we had a great dinner, drove my parents home and I still had time to finish the puzzle with Angus (we had to have dinner with it because it wasn't finished and we were determined to finish it before Angus left) and watch the three and a half hours of Stranger Things that dropped at eight p.m. with Eve (I did not have this in my mind when I made the plan, but wow, did it ever work out). 

I was not feeling great when I went to bed last night - I've been taking cold meds non-stop to function and keep my Cough of Death at bay, and it was starting to make me feel icky. But I had an amazing sleep with only a couple of coughing spells, and today we are lounging around in our pajamas. Angus leaves tomorrow, which is sad, but Eve is here until the 30th, which is happy. 

I hope everyone had some family time, some good food, some laughing, and some rest. And if not, I offer sympathy and love. 

All the Ingredients

 I am SO CONFLICTED about blogging right now. Angus is only home for a week and I am both trying not to smother him by trying to make EVERY SINGLE MOMENT A MAGICAL FAMILY TOGETHERNESS TIME to make sure he will want to come home again (he's bearing it very well) and also very much wanting to have a bunch of magical together family time. So I should not be blogging. On the other hand, I can't get enough of everyone's 'how we do Christmas/holiday cards/various other traditions" posts, and they seem like fun to do. So I should be blogging. On the other hand, I still have a fair amount of shit to get done FOR said Christmas. So I should not be blogging. Also, I finally remembered to check my comments awaiting moderation for the first time in forever and found SO MANY really amazing comments which made me feel dumb and also good. 

LASJDFJAKSIHBIEIFJAILJFSAKDVJNLASKJDVLGKS

Matt drove to Hamilton (the city, not the musical, not making THAT mistake again) Thursday and brought Eve home Friday. I saw her briefly and then she had to go to Marianna's house because friends. They are all going to Toronto for New Year's at Alison's apartment where Jackson will then be LIVING and we are reaching a whole NEW stage of the next stage where our kids PLUS ALL THE FRIENDS WHO ARE KIND OF OUR KIDS are growing up EVEN MORE and now New Year's Eve is happening in a whole nother city for them. Great. Independence, fulfillment, self-actualization. Hmph.

Saturday was our big group Christmas party (much like the big group Halloween party I started NaBloPoMo out with) and this was the first time Eve was here for is since first year university, so that was fun. The party will probably get its own post again, but just to hit all the high points: obscene fruit, a salt rifle, "My penis is locked!", awkward family photos, "My penis is now unlocked!", the phone is lost forever, I will cut you if you steal my Yetis, the phone is found it's a Christmas miracle. Angus flew in Saturday and his flight was delayed, so he was technically here in time for the party but he was exhausted so just chilled at home - he's been at the party more recently than Eve anyway.

Sunday Eve went to visit my parents, we hung out in various configurations and then had tacos and all watched the new Knives Out movie (Wake Up Dead Man), which is not a Christmas movie but, for a recovering Catholic with religious trauma was actually a really great movie for this time in my life.

Today Angus went to see my parents and then do Christmas shopping, and brought home a 500-piece puzzle for us to try to do before Christmas. A few years ago he suddenly decided he and I should do a puzzle together and we did a really hard one and it was really fun even though he had to go home before it was done and I had to finish it and send him a picture. We haven't had enough time to do one since, and I was just thinking we needed a 500 piecer. He said his gifts suck this year, but this was already the best gift ever.

We've gotten fewer cards than in many years - Canada Post rotating strikes, people are busy, postage is expensive - but we got enough to fill the pockets in our card stocking. Suzanne's post introduced me to Swistle's card rating system, which somehow I had missed, and it is fire. I am totally stoked at all the extra points my multiple random pictures would garner according to this system, but I did not have enough time or hand strength to write in all the cards this year WHICH IS FINE. I did about thirty-five and still had about 20 left to do when I had to clear all the stuff off the table. I'm hoping to finish most of them between Christmas and New Year's. 

I love any card I get - photo, no photo, just a signature, a signature and a written version of the card's actual message - but I am going to give top card honours to the one my friend Liz and her wife:

Multi-faith, multi-photo, baby, cats, Star Wars, nature, politics, and a group message that legit felt like it was spoken to every single person. Ba-bam, mic drop. 

I started Christmas baking much later than usual, which honestly is probably fine, given the number of toffee shortbread cookies I ate out of the first batch. Today I mixed another batch and Eve rolled and baked them while I wrapped. Now she is off with her friends again and I am going to do a puzzle with my son. Also, it was supposed to rain the last three days and instead we have gotten a gentle fall of snow every day. 

Peace, love, sugar and butter. And to all a good night. <3 

I'm Siiiiick

 Actually I'm mostly better now and I feel like my body is kind of looking around going what the hell just happened.

The flu has been tearing through my schools like fire through a paper factory. I got my flu shot (and my Covid shot), I have washed and sanitized the first few layers of skin off my hands, I have tried to maintain a healthy distance, but I kind of knew I was a dead woman walking. We had weekend plans because it's December, and we could have cancelled it all but everyone was working under informed consent and still wanted to do everything.

Friday night we went to the Christmas outdoor market with Matt's colleagues, two of whom were from California and wanted to try a beaver tail and... be cold, I guess? I love the Christmas market and really like these women. We picked up Maryam to drive down, and on the way we were trading funny stories about my husband, who suddenly realized that connecting the woman who knew all of his embarrassing stories from the office with the woman who knew all of his embarrassing stories from whom was perhaps a regrettable choice. Then we realized that Camille knew many of his embarrassing stories from travel, which closed some kind of magical miserable loop for him and was very enjoyable for all of us.

Saturday was my second annual Festive Special date with Holly, Kerry and Nat. Our group chat keeps me from committing violence on myself or others several times a week. 

Saturday night we had no plans, so we asked our friends who we will be seeing this Saturday for the big Christmas party if they wanted to come over for a ... small Christmas party? We had decorations up and the main floor was clean for fifteen minutes and it seemed like we should do something festive. Matt bought some cheese and crackers, I bought twelve bags of chips, Margot and Michael brought Lynzie for Lucy to play with, it was a really fun, chill night. 

(Adorable picture of Lucy and Lynzie that Blogger will not allow me to show to you because it is dumb and hates joy)

Sunday I woke up and I was sick. And worried I'd infected everyone else. But everyone else who was sick was sick right then or the next day, or is still not sick, so I am not Patient Zero. I thought it was just a cold because I didn't feel horrible, and usually the flu takes me down hard overnight. By bedtime I had a fever and my throat felt flayed and my ribs were so sore that coughing was agony. The last time I had the flu Matt and Eve had to fly to Florida without me for March Break and I almost died, so then I was kind of scared. But I slept for most of Sunday and Monday and by Tuesday felt like I was turning the corner. Last night was a kind of stoned-on-cold-meds fever dream that I spent half asleep and half awake and middle-of-the-night texting my niece who is in England and Suzanne who is in perimenopause.

My niece is brilliant and hilarious and we have a lot of similar mental health issues, so our text chain is robust and far-ranging. One of the best episodes in our history was when I met her first girlfriend and tried to say 'hey' but choked a tiny little bit and so it sounded the slightest bit like 'gHEY', which had us all doubled over howling with laughter. Her new girlfriend is bi, so under the influence of opioid cough syrup I texted "hey, remember when I met your first gf and said gay? I was thinking what if I meet this one and it all goes great and then at the end I say 'bye' and you scream "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU". 

Today I ventured back into the world (masked again) and am only sort of experiencing that terrible alienated-from-the-world feeling that comes from trying to get back in the swing after being out of the swing. I haven't baked anything or wrapped anything yet, but there are actually some days left before Christmas (time has truly lost all meaning). My husband who supplied me with icy drinks and popsicles to soothe my burning throat seems unscathed by illness so far (I made sure he got his shots before he traveled for three weeks out of the last four, and often his immune system is what we call "China Strong", so fingers crossed). The kids are both vaccinated and okay - it feels counter-intuitive to be bringing them towards, rather than away from, my flu-ridden city. We just have to make sure my parents stay protected. 

Love and bleach, friends. If you can't stay sane, stay healthy.