If They Ever Meet in a Gazebo My Marriage is Over

  My husband was very kindly driving me to a brunch with girlfriends because it was the long weekend and I hadn't slept much and was a little anxious about driving and parking. He was supposed to leave for Helsinki on Sunday but the trip had been cancelled so he was around. We were talking about what was going on at work for him and he mentioned that this week he was seeing someone who was kind of like a comic book villain in his career.

Me: "comic book villain?"

Him: "yes, kind of. For, like, decades. We stopped manufacturing a part he had always bought from us and he was bitter, but we still produce one piece that he has to buy from us. He calls us The Vendor of Last Resort. We're trying to close a multi-million-dollar deal with his company and he's not happy about it."

Me: "Hon! You have a nemesis?" 

Him: "Yes?"

Me: " Like, a years-long rivalry with antagonism but also grudging respect?"

Him: "I ...guess so? We have a bi-weekly phone call where we mostly exchange insults and then begrudgingly do some business in the last three minutes."

Me: "Have you ever kissed? In my world this kind of thing usually ends up with kissing at some point."

Him: "....no. He's from North Carolina and sounds like Foghorn Leghorn." (I'm not sure this would be a deal-breaker for me personally. Foghorn Leghorn has a sort of attractive level of confidence.)

Me: "Wait, so you said Helsinki got cancelled because someone more important bumped them. This is the more important someone?"

Him: "Yes. He called me and asked where I was going to be this week and I said Helsinki. He said "are you sure?" and I said "unless you give me a good reason not to be."

Me: "BABE, YOU ARE LITERALLY IN A ROM-COM."

Him: *speeds up in an effort to get me to the restaurant and push me out of the car as soon as possible.*

Update: He has now started calling his dinners with his nemesis DATES, so I think he's getting on board with the whole Enemies-to-Lovers thing.