Bibliomama

Things are pretty bleak here at the moment. We still don't know when Eve will be going back to school - at least she was there for the beginning of the course so got to actually meet her teacher, and she's doing well, considering it's grade twelve physics and she has a test every two days or so. I was hanging out in her room the other day and she was talking about the olden days and said "we used to have, like, five weeks before a test. FIVE WEEKS" and we both burst out laughing. My January depression is late but making up for lost time. Eve and I are both having bad allergy weeks, which at least is an explanation for why my head hurts all the time and my sinuses are burny. Mostly I am okay with our new normal, and I realize how lucky we are compared to many people. Sometimes I miss tiny normal things to a ridiculous degree - like Lucy jumping on the stool beside the front door a little before three o'clock to watch for Eve walking home from the bus, and going...

I'm at a pretty low point currently, like a lot of people. January is traditionally a difficult month for me anyway, and actually this year up until this week it's been okay, considering the extra stresses happening. I had a colonoscopy yesterday (apologies for TMI) and I think the weird diet and the anxiety and the lack of solid food have thrown me into a bit of a pit. Right after I was dizzy with relief at it being over (plus actually literally dizzy from all the not eating and diarrhea). But today I hurt all over and have zero motivation to do anything. I'm falling into my not-so-great pattern of staying up way too late and sleeping a lot and this makes it so I'm not seeing a lot of daylight. Part of me is fine with doing this for a few weeks and only emerging when Covid numbers are down and the kids can go back to school and I don't have to be a librarian without a library anymore. Part of me always remembers when I was in elementary school and I was going on a ...

Last week I was almost out of hairspray - this hair doesn't work without spray, I'm not proud of it but there it is. I mean I was almost out of the good hairspray. I have backup hairspray, which is really just hairspray that I bought by mistake but discovered was too sticky. I usually get the good hairspray at my hair salon but it's closed. I feel really bad for them because they had moved and expanded not long before Covid started, and I'm really hoping they'll be okay. But also I can't get my hairspray. Sometimes I can get it on Amazon, but they didn't have it either. I was going to check the drug store, and then I remembered that I've been better lately at stocking up on stuff before I'm down to the dregs. I had zero memory of buying any, but I looked under the sink in the bathroom where I put the back-up contact solution and deodorant and there was a FULL CAN. This almost makes up for three days later when I ordered CPAP filters and then found th...