Last Thursday I said I had deleted my Surly Thursday post because it was too petty and dumb and Sarah and Suzanne said to text them the pettiness, which I would have if it was some kind of delicious gossip or witty takedown, but it was just boring whinging about my sore knee and my stupid hair.
I buy the same brand of running shoes (Asics) every year and a half to two years, because I know how they fit me and I can order them online and they fit my orthotics. This is a great system, except sometimes I lose track of how long I've had the most recent pair, and when they fail they fail fast and hard. So my knee was much recovered, and then in the course of two walks it was suddenly horrible, along with my lower back. I went to physio and he poked and prodded and massaged and shockwaved my leg, but I walked a lot on the weekend and it was pretty bad. My new shoes are here, and the walk today was much better, so hopefully that will be on the upswing.
My hair is so weird. My hairline is strange, it's half straight and half bumpy, it's either straight and flat or big enough to take out a bookcase if I turn too fast. If there was one thing I could magically change about my appearance I know most people would guess it would be my weight, and it probably WOULD be, but I would have to think long and hard about not picking the hair. I mean, theoretically I could lose weight, but I'm stuck with this stupid hair forever or until it all falls out. Who came up with the concept of hair anyway? What deranged sadistic mother-effer put us together with two arms and two legs and variable junk and this weird noodly stuff coming out the tops of our heads?
Do you delete bad pictures of yourself, or keep them? Back in the olden days we had to get the pictures printed and THEN look at them and see how bad we look. Now we can see immediately, which is a mixed blessing. I have recently realized that I was forcing myself to keep all the pictures of me even if they were terrible and made me feel bad. And I don't mean group photos where everybody except me looks fine. I mean just selfies where I was trying to see if I got my lipstick on right or whatever. I was suddenly aware that I didn't actually HAVE to keep every picture of myself, and realized that I kind of had this refrain in the back of my head saying 'the good pictures are lying, this is what you really look like so deal with it.' But I don't actually have to? I think I feel a weird sort of low-grade shame that I only think I look good when my hair is done and I've filled in my hairline a little and I have a bit of makeup on. And if I were, say, shipwrecked and didn't have access to my hair and skincare stuff I would be much less attractive.
How silly is that? Like, if we were shipwrecked we would in all likelihood be more preoccupied with finding food and water and building a raft or a signal fire, or plunging deep into the forest to resurrect some elder goddess that would unleash a curse on mankind or something. It's fairly unlikely that we would be looking around at each other thinking wow, did she ever need that mascara, her lashes are practically invisible. (Okay, I do feel bound to confess that even if we were starving and dehydrated I would probably be bitterly envious of the women whose hair still looked good after it got wet, even as I was going into convulsions. I can only be who I am).
So I am going to stop forcing myself to keep and look at bad pictures of myself because ain't nobody got time for that.
Here is a two-year-old family pic where I actually liked my hair. I also liked those very expensive glasses, which I lost while camping that summer. I keep saying I'm going to replace them but I keep wearing my older much less flattering ones because procrastination forever, right?
3 comments:
That's such a great photo! I have not aged gracefully and have just finally given up on the hair and makeup stuff. It is what it is, but I dare anyone to try to get me in a photo now. It's not happening!
My glasses a couple of pairs ago were very similar to those and I LOVED them!
I have hair questions, if you are in the mood. I am interested to know what is the longest you've ever grown your hair and, now that I think about it, I am separately interested in the as-a-child answer and the as-an-adult answer. And I am interested in bangs: I had bangs my entire childhood (my mother said my forehead was FAR too high not to have bangs) and well into my thirties (MOTHER SAID!!), and then grew them out and haven't gotten them again---but have been tempted, because they are cute and because of their forehead-wrinkle-hiding properties. But then I remember my cowlicks, which have to be heat-styled every morning, and if my hair gets damp, like if it's drizzling on my way to work, they SPRING WILD AND CANNOT BE CONTAINED, so that I used to leave a small portable curling iron in my work cubby.
People whose hair looks good even after it gets wet can go straight to hell. Okay, maybe that's a little strong. Maybe.
Your hair does look very cute in that photo -- all of you look very cute. You have a very cute family.
I wholly approve of the idea of getting rid of selfies that you don't like. You know that awful all-forehead photo I texted you? I DELETED IT. I already know I have enough forehead for three people, I do not need additional reminders.
The shoe thing -- that makes me sigh with exhaustion. My walking shoes are starting to get holes in the heels which means that I am going to start getting blisters which means I need to get new shoes. But I hate it. They are so expensive and I haven't found a magic pair that work year after year like you have, so I keep trying new shoes and none of them are exactly right. But if I don't get new shoes my stupid feet will hurt.
Post a Comment