I don't want to jinx it, but after a few months of feeling just deeply disinclined to attack any of the chaos in my house, I seem to be getting the bug again. I was waffling about whether I would try to do anything about it Sunday, so I went down to flip the laundry and then did a little bit in the basement because DID I MENTION Angus is coming home for Thanksgiving? and I thought perhaps it behooved us to fix things so he didn't have to blaze a trail through piles of stuff to get to his bed (although, to be scrupulously fair, a lot of that stuff is still baseball-related). There's a table right outside the half-walls in front of the bed that turns into a dumping ground. There is also a table beside the dryer that turns into a dumping ground. I suddenly realized that, even if I didn't have time to get down to the finer details of dealing with the pile of crap, ALL of the pile of said crap could go in the laundry room where it will not be seen by any casual visitor. I seem to have a subconscious habit of spreading the crap around so there's a little bit of crap in a lot of places, when having MOST of the crap in ONE place (laundry room, back storage room) really makes the most sense. Although I realize that 'sense' is perhaps not the best word to apply to this situation.
I did some other stuff, then came down and sorted through a pile of stuff that had collected near the coffee table in the living room, which is at the front of the house. We don't really go in there unless we have company, and Matt tends to come in from work and drop his bag on one of the chairs flanking the table, so again, stuff collects. I separated out a couple of things and photographed them and posted them on my Facebook community giving group. There was a yoga mat I bought Eve when they were doing yoga at lunchtime at her elementary school - I have since bought her a bigger, thicker one, so this one was superfluous - some stationery with roses on it that is not my style, and some clothes that seemed nice enough to see if anyone specific wanted them rather than just donating them to the thrift store.
Someone took the yoga mat almost immediately. Someone asked for the stationery, so I put it in the mailbox. She said she'd be there after 5, but it was still in there when I left for work the next day.
My mood for this kind of thing is very inconsistent. Sometimes I'm happy to leave something out for several days (it's in a bag, it's sheltered from weather, come grab it whenever). I also almost never ask for anything on the group, unless it's unbelievably perfectly something I need that it would therefore be dumb to spend money on, because I have trouble enough remembering to brush my teeth and breathe these days, never mind making any additional stops. Sometimes it annoys me inordinately when someone says definitively they will come by a certain time and they do not.
When we first started, I left a pair of kids' snowpants on my front step for MONTHS. My parents are coming over this weekend, so subconsciously I was probably thinking of my mom saying "why is something hanging out of your mailbox?' when I messages the person and politely asked when she was planning to come.
The usual response when you remind someone that they forgot to pick up something is that they breathlessly detail some crazy emergency that just happened - their child broke a tooth! their mom tripped over a feral hog and needed emergency surgery! a meteorite crashed through their roof and started a fire! And like, I get it. I do. But this person said "Oh, I'm so sorry, I completely forgot, I will come today".
I was deep into a paragraph about how refreshing it was to have someone just admitting to have forgotten rather than making up some story fit for this year's Guinness World Records when I realized that I do not know this woman and my effusive thanks would probably terrify her to the point where she wouldn't want to come within a hundred metres of my house, so I erased it and gave it to you instead.
Although this Facebook memory because funny Eve is funny, pretty much from her first word on.
13 comments:
Oh Eve -- hee hee! Such a clever kid.
You are very brave and generous of time and spirit to venture into the world of giving things away for free. It always boggles my mind how difficult it is to get people to come and get the things they specifically requested.
When North started kindergarten I thought, now I will have time to keep the house tidier. There was only a marginal change. When North left for college, I thought, well, maybe now I will keep the piles on the dining room table under control because only three people will be leaving their stuff there. (Notice how I radically scaled down the goal?) I guess it might be a little better. I am now pinning my hopes on Beth taking over more of the housework when she retires because obviously, I am not going to change.
I do not bother with people coming to house to get things. Once every quarter or so I just dump everything off at Goodwill. Done. Also, my husband is weird about giving our address and if someone walks on our porch, the dog loses her small mind. So. Yeah. But I do need to get to decluttering. *sigh* When will I have time to do that?
Omg Steph, is the answer to just accept myself the way I am? I'm ONLY 55, THERE'S STILL TIME TO CHANGE.
Right?? I oscillate wildly between "how beautiful and pleasing to pass this object on to another person who has a specific need" and "fuck the landfill, Imma open the door and just start shoveling shit in that general direction". I"m complicated.
Lucy loses her tiny mind also, but the rest of her is likewise tiny, so I just swear a lot. My husband doesn't love giving our address out but he's never here, so... wait, that's probably not the argument for handing out my address to strangers that I think it is.
I am not and will never, ever be on facebook, so I just give everything away to The Vietnam Vets of America, a charity that is kind enough to come and pick stuff up right off my front porch. If I don't have enough for a pickup, I dump everything off at Goodwill, like Engie.
We have a small home, and I cannot abide clutter of any kind. This is completely unlike my husband, who simply does not ever see clutter. I have given away things of his that he has yet to miss/ask about/look for/vaguely mention.
We have the Diabetes or Cerebral Palsy Associations that will pick up too, but when I have a load ready I'm generally too impatient to wait for them.
I am fairly digital about clutter: a lot of the time I am only dimly aware of it, unless we invite people over in which case I am suddenly demanding to know why we've been living in squalor. A few weeks a year I suddenly become allergic to it and will work myself into exhaustion trying to fix the problem.
Thank you for the laugh, that memory was hilarious.
I love my Buy Nothing group, it makes me feel good especially when the item i specific and unlikely to find a home if it goes to Goodwill. I recently ran out of my favorite bread, and had to make do for a few days with a loaf from the grocery store. Once I restocked my Good Bread, I offered the 3/4 loaf on BN. Someone wanted it, and wouldn’t you know it, I went out and forgot to put it out for her. She came by, it wasn’t here. So that was Friday. Saturday she said she was coming, Sunday she said she was coming. She forgot. I didn’t feel like I could complain too much because I forgot on Friday. Anyway, she finally came and picked it up on Monday. I hope it wasn’t stale.
I just donate everything to Goodwill, but I like the community aspect of giving things way like this. I would have no problem with giving out my address- I can't imagine someone saying they're coming for rose stationary with an ulterior motive.
Ha ha, Eve... I love it.
Eve's reaction to the headlines is so funny!
I never have the urge to control the chaos in the rooms of our house, other than to push it into two particular rooms - my office (which also used to be my husband's office space until he couldn't stand it) and the spare bedroom. I'll be forced to cleanup both before mid-November.
Happy Thanksgiving!
Happy Thanksgiving, Allison! (What a joy to have an Eve to interpret life <3)
Eve has always been hysterical!
Yes, people can be so forgetful. I mean, we get it, but if someone goes through the trouble of leaving it for you, you should make sure you pick it up!
Are the snowpants still on the porch?
Piles are a problem for most of us, luckily I can't sleep if there are too many, so they are generally dealt with swiftly.
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