Week With Laughter

I have been having a bit of a stupid week. I am calling the week stupid to avoid having to apply the label to myself, but the truth is it probably isn't actually the week's fault. I'm not sure what the deal is - Matt's away, but that's not unusual. If it's a progression of the perimenopausal brain fog I have to do some seriously therapeutic levels of crossword puzzling or whatever the hell, because this cannot continue.

Monday I woke up and got ready for work. I wash and dress and take my morning meds and then come down with my water glass and my phone, put my phone directly into my purse and then go to the kitchen, drop off my water glass and pack my lunch and grab my water bottle (except when it's my first day at a new job, but whatever, we're over that). 

For many many years the garage was too full of crap to get a vehicle in. A couple of years ago Matt worked like crazy to get it empty enough to park the Rav in. This is completely awesome, so this is not a complaint - it's very tight in there, so I come out of the house, dump my purse and extra bag and the bag with my indoor shoes in it and Lucy in her carrier on the front step, open the garage, back out, get out, close the garage, grab all the stuff and chuck it in the rav, then go to my mom and dad's to drop off Lucy. 

So Monday I did all this, backed out and started driving down the street. The radio display said 'audio device not connected' for longer than usual, which usually means my phone isn't in the car, which is weird since I put my phone in my purse first thing.

I looked over at the passenger seat. No purse.

I actually tried backing up to get back to my driveway, which isn't as stupid as it sounds because we live on a very quiet crescent and I checked that there was no one coming behind me. But I was flustered and completely lost the ability to back up in a straight line, so I got most of the way there and then still had to turn around.

I grabbed my purse and flung it in the seat, dropped off Lucy, got to school. Realized I had my purse but had STILL forgotten my phone. Which doesn't really matter, it doesn't really work at my Monday school anyway, but I didn't know where it was since I always put it in my freaking purse first thing. 

I shook it off, started setting out the rest of my stuff, sat down, turned on the computer, tried to turn on my little desk fan. Desk fan was dead.


I think my little desk fan fleet is dying and might have to be replaced, which would be fine except I usually just replace them one to one with the same brand of fan and they don't seem to be available anymore, but ANYWAY.

After work I had an appointment at my CPAP place to get my pressure level adjusted. My machine is old and under a recall, and I've been promised I will get a new one in due course. Due course is now supposed to be expedited because the machine was too old to accept the SD card needed for the prescription. By which I mean it took the tech twenty-five minutes to get it to recognize the card and then it said "prescription rejected".

Sometimes you just have to laugh.

Tuesday I got up and got ready again, and when I rechecked the bag with my lunch bag and water bottle I couldn't find my water bottle. No problem, I thought, I must have left it in the kitchen.

It wasn't in the kitchen. It's tall and yellow, it's hard to miss. 

I went back and forth between the kitchen and the living room a few times before I realized I had set it down at the top of the two steps leading down to the entrance and it was hidden by another bag. 

After work I went to pick up Lucy and had a drink with my parents before heading home. They reminded me that this weekend is daylight saving time. In a quick Google search about 'spring forward', an article in Philadelphia's City Life by Sandy Hingston states that "You may have heard that DST decreases traffic accidents. It doesn’t. Evening accidents decrease, but early-morning accidents increase — and early-evening pedestrian fatalities soar immediately following the switch." Various other article titles are "How to Survive the Stupid Spring Forward of Daylight Saving Time", "Proof Daylight Saving Time is Stupid, Dangerous and Costly", and "It's Official: Turning the Clocks Back is a Very Stupid Idea". Under the question "How does Daylight Saving Time affect the brain?" the answer is "Every cell in our bodies keeps track of the time, and changes in daily patterns can trigger stress in our brains and cause sleep deprivation, disorientation, and memory loss."

So next week could be even worse?

Good thing next week is March Break, that's all I have to say. Otherwise whatever idiotic crap I pull might be headline-worthy.

Tuesday night we went out to do bar trivia. I did not have high hopes of being a stellar contributor, given my behaviour the past couple of days. When Collette heard it was about to be Spring Forward she said "like, tomorrow, or next weekend?" Janet said "tomorrow is Wednesday". Then Michelle kept forgetting which wrap she wanted to order every time she closed the menu and now nobody was sure we should be trying to play a game of skill or, you know, thinking. Thought. Smartness. 

We used to play at a neighbourhood restaurant that did a monthly game and always involved a charity. The first one was a Pug Rescue so we called ourselves the Pugnacious Six. We briefly switched to the Medulla Oblangatas for the next one which was for a brain injury support place but no one could say it, so we stuck with the Pugnacious Six after that. The waitress did her valiant best, but our table card ended up saying 'Pugalicious', so obviously we had to stay and defend our dignity, or something. 

We came in second this time instead of first because we missed one sports question. After the game we put this in the What'sApp to Matt, who is our Sports Question Guy:

We had a good time anyway. The most hilarious category was called "Foreign Titles of American Movies", where the question gave us the translation of a movie title as it was shown in France or China or Japan. We slayed effortlessly and were kind of surprised that more teams didn't get perfect on the category, and I brought the answer sheet home so I could share them with you.

In French: Mom, I Missed the Plane (Home Alone - and yes, the sequel is called Mom, I Missed the Plane AGAIN)

In French: Very Bad Trip (The Hangover)

In Chinese: One Night, Big Belly (Knocked Up)

In Hebrew: Love in the Skies (HI NICOLE haha - TOP GUN - love how they just skated right over all that pesky war and fighter plane stuff for this one)

In Chinese: Satan Female Soldier (G.I. Jane - geez, China, Misogyny Are Us much?)

In Chinese: Six Naked Pigs (The Full Monty - yeesh,  possibly even harsher than Satan Female Soldier)

In Italian: If You Leave Me, I Delete You (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind)

And my personal favourite -- In Japanese: I'm Drunk and You're a Prostitute (Leaving Las Vegas).


Suzanne said…
I hate brainless weeks. Worst feeling. I managed to drop/throw an entire brand new bag of flour onto my kitchen floor, where it exploded. That was fun.

Those movie title translations are hilarious and awful!

Hope the rest of your week goes smoothly.
Swistle said…
The movie titles have made my morning, along with "pugalicious."

My favorite part, though, was the description of the people at the table: Collette asking if it was tomorrow; Janet pointing out that it was Wednesday; Michelle having object-permanence issues with her wrap order.
Sarah said…
The movie titles! HA!

I LOVED bar trivia, and we haven't gotten back into the swing of it since COVID-- must do it-- thanks for reminding me to add to my list.

I really enjoyed reading the steps you take to leave for work. Mine are similarly intricate and no wonder things get left behind. I am going to try to streamline and report back :)
Nicole said…
I am NOT looking forward to next week, I almost always have massive brain fog the week after time change. Why are we still doing this stupid thing. Why.
I was walking downstairs to put away my giant (GIANT) canister of protein powder. It comes in a bag that is impossible to reseal, so I always put it in a canister that has one of those little hook thingies that seals it closed. I was HOLDING it by the hook thingie, which then came open, and the whole thing just fell down the stairs. I could only just stand and stare at this while it happened. PROTEIN POWDER EVERYWHERE. Oh, and those stairs are carpeted. So, that was fun.
Nicole said…
OH AND OMG TOP GUN!!!! I am dead now.
NGS said…
Those movie titles are giving me life! One Night, Big Belly! Also, how impressive is Matt that based on that vague clue he was able to get the right answer? I need a Matt as a sports guy in my life!
Ernie said…
We're laughing WITH you here on your 'oops' moments this week, right? Cause it is pretty funny. The titles of the movies were hilarious. Matt's trivia skills are impressive. And, apparently happy birthday to Matt? Or did I read that wrong. We have a wedding to go to Sat night, so one would think that an extra hour would be helpful - but I think I'll probably just wake up crazy early instead and feel extra tired all day.

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