I'm Not Ready

 I never am, am I? Let's take a look at past November 1st posts. Oh look, last November 1st my mood was "unremittingly hideous". Two years ago I just posted a picture of a bare, frozen shrub. I believe the words "mired in suckitude" have been uttered. 

Should I stop trying to make NaBloPoMo happen? Is it never going to happen? (Eve and I recently saw the Mean Girls musical). When I Google it, it still comes up as a "month long writing exercise" that occurs each November. Well, I always did sort of torture the actual definition of exercise, so why should blogging be any different?

Maybe I shouldn't be all defeatist. Maybe it will be awesome. After all, I took Lucy out for a walk today fully expecting to be rained on, and instead the sun came out and made the path to our park look like all magical and shit. 

Truthfully, I'm feeling pretty good today. I am still engaged in the nearly full-time pursuit of de-crapifying the house, and I have come to a place in the process I feel like I've never been before, where I actually can see the light at the end of the tunnel and I still have time before guests arrive or my children come home or there's a holiday I have to prepare for, so I don't have to chuck the remaining piles into the closet or storage space before I'm ready to deal with them.

I'm heading to Hamilton for my professor's retirement reception on the week-end, which will probably be a good forced break, because this is a back-breaking pursuit and I'm at the point where I keep telling myself to sit down for ten minutes but instead I keep compulsively doing one more thing that leads to ten more things, and then it's 3 a.m. and I can't straighten up. My husband needs to come home from California and make me go to bed on time.

I also had kids in one of my libraries for the first time this year yesterday - there were major class re-organizations going on and we couldn't make a schedule until they were finished. I had classes in my other library, and although we cleared out and sorted a whole roomful of books (my personal leitmotif right now, I guess) and got a lot of cataloguing done, I was a bit weary of being alone. The kids were very excited to be coming in finally, which made me very happy.

Our friends' annual Halloween party was on Saturday. Not only were my kids far away, but this year my husband was also absent, and I told our family group text that it was kind of bullshit that I had to tape myself into the gift bag ALL BY MYSELF. I felt tired and a little weird (which is my usual state, to be perfectly honest), but it was still fun, although PSA: gift bags don't breathe at all. Also, once I was in it I couldn't bend over at all - I went to get Lucy's kong from her bed to fill with peanut butter and nope - fortunately there was one on the edge of the sink. I knocked a key onto the floor while getting my car keys out and it had to stay there until I got home. The actual driving? Let's not talk about it - fortunately my friends live twenty seconds away.

I'm wondering if this year I should try a theme or structure rather than just posting randomly. Something alphabetical or something. But fiddle-dee-dee, I'll think about it tomorrow.