NaBloPoMo Day 9: Bidding a Fond Farewell to the Tattered Remnants of My Powers of Recall
Remember that time I forgot to buy Staples AT STAPLES? I do, although I expect I won't for much longer, given the present state of things.
Yesterday I made a giant pulled pork roast in the crock pot. I texted one friend that I could drop some off for her (single mom with busy job and school-aged kids). She said she'd swing by after work. She did. I gave her the pulled pork. Right after she left, I opened the garage and saw the boxed-up snowman decoration that I've been meaning to give her for the kids since LAST CHRISTMAS. She was ON MY FRONT STEP, three feet away from it, and yet...
Then Jody (HI JODY) came to pick me up to go to IKEA again. I haven't been to IKEA more than once every two years forever and now we practically have a standing weekly date because our daughters moved out and we have houses to rearrange and make more storage efficient, plus, cheap meatballs. We went to IKEA and then The Linen Chest , where Jody stuck her face in a candle at the cash and said it smelled good, and then I looked at it and naturally the description was in both official languages (it's a candle/c'est une bougie) and I said, with far more enthusiasm than originality, "look at that bougie candle" and then we realized it cost A HUNDRED AND FORTY-THREE DOLLARS - it really WAS a bougie candle.
Then we went to Indigo because Jody needed Hanukkah candles. They usually have good stocking stuffers too, and I don't know if you know the Indigo Faux Fur Throw Christmas tradition, but it's basically that they have these ludicrously fuzzy blankets that come in a couple of basic colours and then new colours every year, and they're ridiculously overpriced at 80 dollars, but if you spend fifty bucks on anything else you can buy them for the only moderately overpriced thirty dollars or so. The joke in our family is that we frequently say we don't need anymore Indigo faux fur throws, and yet every time the sales person begins asking "and since you've spent fifty dollars or more, are you interested in one of our throws..." I am powerless to say anything but "yes!" Everyone has one on their bed, there are three on the upstairs couch, one on the downstairs couch, and Lucy has her own - it sits on the end of the couch where she sleeps, and occasionally someone else will use it and she sits there and stares them down until they give it up or at least share (I am clear on the vicious irony of me calling anyone else bougie, just so you know). I also give them as presents because who doesn't like getting a fuzzy blanket in Dusty Rose or Snowfall or Midnight or Emerald?
Then Jody brought me home and came INSIDE MY HOUSE to help me pimp out my couch with the new cushions and the Brand New Indigo Faux Fur throw I had just bought to go with the other two. She was in my house. I had a container of pulled pork in the fridge for her. Did I give it to her? Reader, I did not.
Today I went to work and did work stuff and then I went to Shoppers Drug Mart for a couple of things and then the grocery store and the bakery. Then I realized that I had been in the drugstore, where my prescription that is supposed to help my legs stop being restless so I can get some fucking sleep and stop forgetting shit was waiting. Did I pick it up? Reader, obviously I fucking did not.
I'm getting pretty good at the attendance process at school. I only had to print out the administration list twice before it was ready for the binder - sometimes it's five or six times. Clearly there's some kind of Law of Conservation of Remembering Shit in play here, so I can get my work done but I have to be really careful not to leave the house without pants.
Yours in perimenopausal exasperation,