I'm just going to bang something out here (a BLOG POST, shut up) because I'm feeling antsy that I haven't, even though I've been meaning to clean the en suite our bedroom all day, but instead I carried a bunch of stuff from the main floor to the basement and did some laundry and got some groceries and went to the liquor store and then came home and started cooking and then watched two episodes of Ozark with Matt and now I will probably end up cleaning the bathroom while he's trying to sleep, but goddammit I will not go to sleep one more time with that bathroom uncleaned!

Ha ha, I wrote that two days ago and then gave up and went and cleaned the bathroom. Fortunately Matt was working late, so I didn't keep him awake.

I've mostly climbed out of the slough of despond, partly because it had run its course and was clearly not helpful, partly because of the headaches from all the crying. I still think that, of the still-employed locked down, the children and young adults have it the hardest, and I reserve my right for me and them to be mournful over that. I do, however, fully recognize that it is a much better situation than being shipped off to the beaches of Normandy or sold into child slavery, and many children and young adults all over the world have it worse just in the normal course of things. And no one is going to argue that the Animal Crossing and Netflix doesn't mitigate the hardship. So. Back to dealing.

I came across a GQ article on Twitter called "Top Sheets are a Scam". It begins "a top sheet is the giftwrap of bedding: it looks nice, but you have to throw it away." It further claims that top sheets never stay remotely in place, and that they make the bed look messier than using just a duvet.

Clearly it was a throwaway piece, but it made me wonder how many people don't use top sheets. My kids don't, which bugged me for a while, but Eve is fastidious enough and Angus's bedroom is in the basement and thus ignorable enough that I got over it. I grew up using a top sheet and making the bed with hospital corners - I don't tuck it in at all now, but I cringe at the thought of not using one. I don't like touching the duvet - not because I think it's dirty, but because I feel like I'll get it dirty. I change my sheets once a week and still wash the duvet every couple of months.

So do people who don't use a top sheet wash the duvet way more often? Do they not feel like the duvet is sweaty and gross? I mean, I shower every night before going to bed, but presumably not everyone does. I never thought of myself as a particularly peaceful sleeper, but do top sheets really get that unruly?

This also gave me a happy memory of when I was in Morocco with my friends Holly and Janet (HI HOLLY AND JANET). The sheets were always tucked in to a punishing degree, so every night Janet and I would get into bed and Holly would go around the room yanking out the tucked ends so we could move.

My arm is still incredibly painful, so THANKS A LOT genial funny Youtube physiotherapists, you made me think I could cure myself and it was BULLCRAP. I'm sort of enjoying cleaning my own house except for the painful repercussions, and I'd really like to do some painting, but it's difficult when my dominant arm is a traitor.

Angus's summer baseball season got cancelled a couple of days ago. We were expecting it, but it still hurts - it was a minor league that he was recruited for in New York and it was going to be a lot of pretty high-level baseball, and both he and Matt were really looking forward to it. We're debating whether it makes more sense for him to get a job or whether we should use his available labour to do stuff around the house.

I keep thinking that I'll be okay and he'll be okay as long as he can go back in the fall. But he might not be able to, so we'll have to be okay no matter what. I also keep telling myself that we don't know what's going to happen, and unexpected good things could happen as well as expected bad things. There won't be a vaccine by fall, but there might be better treatments or tests. My usual M.O. is expecting the worst so I'm pleasantly surprised if the worst doesn't happen, but that's not really working right now, because expecting the worst impairs my ability to function. Even before this, some nights I would lie in bed obsessing about things and then tell myself "why not just think something good will happen?"

Pictures of Eve making Lucy do a puppy dance and a family selfie on Angus's birthday - last week he shaved his beard, which I love, into a horrible moustache, which I loathe, but I try really hard not to tell my kids what to do with their hair or clothes and it's a pandemic, so, shrug emoji. (But ugh, it's terrible).


Magpie said…
1. if you don't use a top sheet, you need a duvet COVER - and then you change the bottom sheet, pillowcases and duvet cover all at once. The duvet itself doesn't need to be washed very often. Normally I only wash it when a cat throws up and it gets soaked through.
2. Bedding sold in sets is a goddamned scam. I don't want a top sheet - I want a bottom sheet and four pillowcases. It's very hard to find sheets sold as individual items instead of sets. Also, annoying.
Mary Lynn said…
We use a top sheet. I especially like a soft flannel top sheet in Winter. Neither of my kids use them and, like you, it drove me crazy for a while, but I’ve gotten used to it.
Shan said…
The top sheet has been a topic of conversation (read - debate) at the dinner table on and off for many months. The young folk just can't be bothered with it. I have done extensive research (read - I asked everyone under 30 I knew). My kids think I am bananas for having one. I change my sheets every Sunday, I like going into a new week with clean sheets and that is the best "climb into bed" of the week. I subscribe to the theory that the, seemingly, smallest of things can set your attitude (for lack of a better word) to right. I have implored them to try it out for a month... no dice. My kids are weirdos. Also don't tell them that I didn't figure all of that out until I was in my 40's.
Dimitra said…
Like you, top sheet is a must! Showering every night and being fully immersed into a cleaned bed is heaven and the best sleep ever. The fresh smell and the clean feeling get me giddy and excited to be in my bed! I can’t stand lumps or bumps ether, so I think I’ve learned to sleep in a way where my top sheet does not get lost into the abyss.
Now, my daughter, on the other hand, no top sheet...she just doesn’t care. She doesn’t even care if she has sheets! She thinks I’m crazy that I wash my sheets minimum every week and “all my friends wash them every month!” (Oh yeah? Ask their mothers and not your friends!)
What kind of monster am I raising?
Ernie said…
I am a top sheet user - but I will say that even though we have been married for almost 24 years, Coach is a covers hog. He is 6'4" and he sometimes rolls over and poof - I am left with nothing. so fixing and top sheet so we both 'get some' (bad terminology for bed topic) is a hassle.

My kids have top sheets. I am not sure how to define 'using' said top sheet. Mini alone sleeps like she is imitating a tornado, no exaggeration. So, her bed always looks like a lump of blankets and sheets. She doesn't make her bed either and she is one of the few NOT in a top bunk and her bed is at very visible as I walk up the stairs. Not a battle I care that much about picking.

Sorry about Angus' season. I agree, this sucks for the young adults who had weddings, and study abroad, and sports seasons and life's adventures that cannot be replaced. I used to worry more about stupid stuff like nervous jitters over Irish dancing competitions. Gradually I have learned to not give a crap about that stuff - too many other REAL or BIG things to fret about. I want to punch myself in the face for losing sleep over eff-ing Irish dancing. Ugh.

So sorry about your arm. Tennis elbow? I had it and it took a long time to hear. I am married to a Physical Therapist so he gave me exercises to do. Still horrible fricking pain.

I think Angus' mustache looks a bit like Tom Selleck. No?
Swistle said…
When I was in college, I slept with a bottom sheet only, plus a comforter. But I washed the comforter (which was cheap, lightweight polyester, and easy to wash/dry) close to as often as I washed the sheets. I don't remember why I started doing it that way; I grew up always using top sheets, and I went to college with a top sheet, so I HAD one, and in fact I STILL have it and I use it as a hair-cutting smock. I do use a top sheet now, because I like the feel of it.
Sasha said…
A very wise person told me something recently and I’m going to make a hash of it but trust me it sounded wise when she said it: someone is always going to be in a worse situation than you, it’s not a competition and it doesn’t make you any less entitled to be unhappy with your situation.

I don’t know if that’s helpful or not, but thinking about the beaches at Normandy and all made me think about that.

Also, I don’t use a top sheet, I use a duvet cover and I’m way, way, way too embarrassed to tell you how often that gets washed (or not). I mean, we really only touch the sheets for the most part, right? Let’s go with that. That’s what’ll actually allow me to crawl into bed tonight without getting the heebie-jeebies. (OMG did I actually spell that right? There’s no squiggly red line….)

Sasha said…
Nicole said…
I remember when I learned that some people don't use top sheets and I was so confused. Why not? I really still don't understand, although you do you, non-top-sheet people. But...wouldn't that mean you would have to wash your duvet cover and/ or blankets like weekly? That seems like way more work to me. Anyway, we use a top sheet, when it's really hot in summer sometimes that is all we sleep with. I do not shower prior to bed so I like to have a layer between my body and the duvet. Well, I have pajamas, so that's a layer but...anyway. I like nice sheets.
StephLove said…
Neither of my kids use top sheets. I don't get it, but I just buy them bottom sheets and leave it at that.
Busy Bee Suz said…
I love the family photo and Lucy's dance.
My kids don't use a top sheet and it also used to bug me; but hey, it's their sleep, not mine.
If I only used a duvet, I think I would die from the heat. I need a cool sheet. I also wash mine weekly and can't imagine not doing so.
Whoever wrote that article is garbage. LOL

You mentioned your arm before; what's going on with it? Do you have the same tendonitis that I do? It's a bitch trying to sleep with an almost dead, but painful arm. I sypathize with whatever ails you.

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