Doing the Right Things for the Wrong Reasons
Scene: Our kitchen, 6:30 p.m. Matt is just home from a baseball meeting and picking up a few groceries. Eve is on the couch with her laptop working on her physics project. I am carrying garbage bags of clothes down for Diabetes to pick up tomorrow. Lucy is racing around with her purple dog because she's ecstatic that we're all in the same place.
Me: "I dismantled the clothing mountain in the closet and left twelve pairs of pants and about twenty shirts for you to go through".
Me: (gently) "...and I donated everything with a 32 waist."
Me: "Don't feel bad. They were all very old."
Matt: "But I have to lose weight."
Me: "Ugggghhhhh, we've talked about this multiple times, our daughter is sitting right there, can we NOT with the 'I need to lose weight'?"
Him: "Okay. But the thing is, I need to lose weight."
Eve: "I forgot that Earth is not always the same distance from Mars when I was doing this question. Because spoiler alert you guys, the planets MOVE."
Me: "Diets don't work. If you're desperate to lose weight you're just going to do a bunch of stupid extreme stuff that won't work. You need to work on some healthier habits. You - we - need to exercise a little more and eat more vegetables."
Matt: "Yeah. So we can lose weight."
Me: *throws up hands in defeat*
Scene: a couple hours earlier, up in our bedroom. I am watching a movie on Netflix and then remember that Diabetes is coming by tomorrow. I bag up a couple of stacks of clothes that are sitting on the bench on the hall and then since I'm just watching a movie anyway I decide to tackle the closet. I take down a mountain of clothing that Matt has stacked up until I can't see more than my top half in the full-length mirror.
I go through the clothes, bag up what is obviously to go and leave some for him to look at. I look at the gloriously clean and clear closet space and I think
"Man, the cleaning lady is going to be SO PROUD of us when she comes next week".