I've been feeling a little paralyzed lately, on a couple of levels. First of all, it's minus a million outside. Our street is a series of inches-apart ice speedbumps. I keep losing one mitten out of every pair. Second, my hip hurts. A lot. I go to the chiropractor a couple of times, the pain dies down a little and then flares back up and my sciatic nerve is on fire. I can't figure out what I'm doing to aggravate it or what I should do to make it better (well, I can, but I'm too lazy to go to physio right now so I'm going with internet stretches and complaining for the moment). It's clearly not too much exercise, because I've made it to the gym about once a month since Christmas. So maybe it's sitting. So I stand in the middle of the room looking at all the chairs suspiciously wondering which one is the offending party. Then my feet start to hurt. It's not good.

Then there's the writing thing. Writing anywhere. One of my friends on Facebook posted a status saying it was offensive to post anything "to relieve the negativity" because only privileged people could ignore the negativity. And hey, I get it. I am a privileged person and there's a lot of negativity that I can ignore that others can't. But does that mean I can't ever say anything that doesn't involve politics or resisting?

No. It doesn't. That's not what she was saying. I was making everything all about me because it was January and everything hurt and everything was gray and any bit of wit or insight that entered my brain was immediately devoured by the gray hurt-monster so the impulse to write anything was slim anyway.

I watched the new Gilmore Girls mini-series on Netflix - not the day it came out, but a few weeks later. I watched the actual series in real time when it was on, and I liked it, but not, like, Buffy the Vampire Slayer like-level. But then Eve started watching the original series so I started rewatching it.
Some thoughts: they eat a lot of junk food and takeout for being skinny people on a single income; they make fun of fat people more than I remember; they use the word 'retarded' - was that still done then? Because I find that surprising; the fact that Lorelai keeps chasing Max around after she jilts him makes me want to throat-punch her; I still love the witty banter; Emily Gilmore quite often veers over the line from uptight rich mother to total bitch; the fact that Lorelai uses the Frank Lloyd Wright Prairie Home massacre as a funny dinner-time anecdote seems in really bad taste (I read the book about it between my first time seeing that episode and the second); I adore Lane and I think her storyline got really stupid; I adore Paul Anka the dog; and Lauren Graham dated her tv daughter's teacher in TWO SERIES now, what is WRONG with you, TV writers?

It's problematic, rewatching a series with more than three or four seasons. I start off watching one episode every now and then. Then I start mainlining them until two in the morning. Then by the end I can't read or watch anything else, I just want it to be over and the whole experience verges on hate-watching.

Also, my last placement is finally starting next week, after six months of emails and getting passed around from one type of supervisor to another and interminable legal stuff - you'd think I was asking the Ottawa Public Library if I could put on a three-ring circus in their main branch instead of offering them some free book-shelving and database classification. Anyway, the people I met are really nice, the Stittsville Branch is darling (it has a fireplace!) and I'm looking forward to getting this done.

There. I moved a little. Perhaps a thaw is imminent.


D said…
Winter sucks. I'm glad you're here and posting from time to time. Thanks for that. P.S. Paris Geller turns 40 this year. I know.
StephLove said…
I'm sorry about the paralyzed feeling and the hip pain. I hope it gets better soon. No one needs that, especially not in winter.

Dimitra said…
Winter blahs suck...sometimes I wish I was a bear, where I could just hibernate and wake up refreshed, pain free, full of energy in the magical spring season. But I thank you for sharing what we many of us feel, whether it's hip, knee, shoulder, mental fog or any other sort of pain. We are here to listen, get it out of our system, and figure out what the next step is. We feed off each other...and that helps each and every one of us move on.
And I'm glad the Public Library finally accepted your circus!
So hard to write anything light and happy and highlighting the goodness when I am consumed with all the swears and anger about the state of the world.


Self preservation, right? I have *got* to get my groove back, too.

I have so much to say and have not been saying it because so many others are saying it better.

Sometimes you are the light. Sometimes you are the mirror that reflects it. :) I keep reminding myself of this fact.

Also, yay Stittsville library.. it is sweet! Good for you!
Anonymous said…
I say see a PT, not a chiropractor. PTs are where it's at for actually dealing with and preventing recurrent physical pain.

As for Gilmore Girls... I remember watching it once in awhile back in the day. I used to get so irritated with it. The relationship between the mother and the daughter was about nine times more positive than I thought it ought to be, plus the girl exclaimed about how many books she'd read in one episode, and it was such a low number. All I could think was: if your character is as smart as she's supposed to be, she would've read that many books in a summer when she was seven.
Julie Leclair said…
I'm totally with you on the hate watching! I did that with How I Met Your Mother. And it's why I am afraid to start Super Natural. WAY too many seasons! I am enjoying watching things with few episodes and few seasons. Currently binging Call the Midwife. It's fantastic!

Glad to see the thaw has arrived.
Nicole said…
Okay, so the other day I saw this thing on FB where it was like "Let's get rid of all the negativity and have fun! 1. Who are you named after?
There is a literally fascist administration in office in the United States." and so forth, with political statements for every silly question in the meme. And yes, it was pretty witty and well-done but it was also shaming every person who doesn't spend 100% of their time fixated on politics. Of course, we should all be concerned and doing our part and YES I am speaking from a place of privilege, I am well aware that I am very privileged, and STILL. I did not do one of those silly memes but my whole blog is practically a silly meme. I kept thinking how shitty I would feel if I had and one of my friends posted that. Well, I don't know what to say.

I've never seen the Gilmore Girls but we did watch the Full Monty recently and it was interesting how my perspective on the whole thing has changed since first seeing it in 1998. THAT GUY IS A DEADBEAT.
Maggie said…
OK but in defense of not always writing about things that are 100% political despair and news I offer this fact: your list of 4 and 5-star books have literally saved my mental health since January. For my mental stability I've stopped reading twitter, checking the internet, or watching news just before bedtime. Instead I've read several awesome and engrossing books recommended by you. This is getting sappy but seriously thank you from the bottom of my heart. I really needed books to distract myself and you were the source.

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