I Don't Feel Good Today

I know technically it should be "well", but that doesn't really capture it. I don't feel good. I feel bad. I'm having trouble finding the goodness. This makes me realize that I've had a pretty good November so far, partly because of everyone who commented here on what I'm not really that upset to admit has been my lamest NaBloPoMo ever.

I'm finishing my last course in my Library Tech Diploma. It's on Special Libraries, and the four assignments have all been progressive parts of setting up your own special library. The minute I hit send on my very first assignment, I realized that the library I had painstakingly set up was very slightly wrong for a special library. The instructor sent me a bunch of details about how it was, in fact, slightly wrong, but gave me an eighty percent anyway. So every successive assignment has been a struggle because it's all based on a flawed foundation, but I just didn't have the energy to go back and rework the first assignment. Bizarrely, I got a hundred percent on the second assignment, but she hasn't returned the third one yet and the fourth is due on Sunday.

I don't really care if I get a crappy mark in the course as long as I pass and can be done, but this assignment (it's about budgets, for fuck's sake) is giving me fits of anxiety and stomach-hurtingness. I keep trying to use the "if it will be okay, worrying won't help, and if it won't, worrying still won't help", but it's not really working because my brain is broken.

For something less whiny, here is a picture of Eve trying to get Lucy to hop on one foot and tilt her head because we'd given her a bath and thought she might have water in her ear.


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