Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Happy Tuesday To Me

So yesterday I got this email:

Dear Allison,

Thank you for your funny, informative and engaging blog.  I have been following it since Angus went to the World Junior Baseball championships and enjoy it immensely.

I am actually looking for a book suggestion for my little brother (he's actually 30).  He loves Science Fiction, reads like crazy and particularly loves series...I've asked around and almost everyone has suggested something he has already read, so I thought emailing you was worth a shot.

Totally cool if you don't have any, and thanks again for your blog.

Sincerely,

Person whose name I'm not sharing because of privacy reasons, NOT because I made her up to feel better about myself. Why are you all looking at me like that? My blog is funny, informative and engaging, people who aren't even RELATED to me think so! 

Really. Imagine my elation when I read past the first line and realized it wasn't someone pitching me to flog dried Brussels sprouts or review an app that lets you rate your podiatrist by hotness, but someone genuinely asking a question about books, with a compliment thrown in to boot? 

Way cool.

Of course, there's a possibility this could all go horribly wrong and the brother will really hate the book (Matt's uncle's wife asked me for a rec once and I told her to buy his uncle the Feed trilogy and he didn't like it and our relationship has really never been the same - I can hardly accept all the beers he hands me at the cottage every summer without glowering a little) and I'll have to shut down my blog and move and change my name. That's the risk you take when you become this big a deal. 

Thursday, December 10, 2015

Surly Fucking Goddamned Unbelievable Thursday

So I get up this morning, thinking, great, husband's finally home tomorrow, Christmas party this week-end, weather's good, going to get a bunch of errands done today, take Eve for a haircut after school, pick up Angus from physio after the haircut, go get flu shots, come home and have dinner ready in the crockpot.

I try to flush the toilet in our bathroom. The handle snaps off.

Okay, no problem. Husband's home tomorrow, should be an easy fix.

I get in the shower. Tap feels a little weird, but shower works okay.

I head out, remember I've had contacts waiting for pick-up at the optometrist's that I keep forgetting about. Drive for awhile. Realize I've sailed right past the intersection where I should have turned left for the optometrist's office. Double back. Pick up contacts.

Head towards the library, turn right. Drive for awhile, look around and wonder where the fuck I am. Realize I turned right one street too soon.

Okay, no problem. Pay closer attention to where I'm going.

Go to the library, Bed Bath and Beyond and Indigo. Buy a couple of Christmas presents. Get a call from Angus's school that he got hit on the head with a weight in fitness class and needs to be picked up and assessed for concussion.

Okay, no problem. He didn't lose consciousness or vomit. He has a monster goose egg on his head. He checks out fine. Enjoyable moment when the doctor asks him his favourite subject and he says history and the doctor looks surprised and then tries to recover. Enjoyable moment two when he makes Angus do a hand exercise and I ask if he's going to make him do Bishop's knife trick from Alien and he says "maybe". We go back to the school to pick up his books and I ask the woman in the office to let his other teachers know he'll be out for the rest of the day.

Come home, drop off Angus, finish my errands, check back on Angus. Walk Lucy. Go upstairs to take a quick shower. The tap makes a weird crack and no water comes out.

Okay, no problem. We have another shower.

Come downstairs. Get a message from the school saying that Angus was reported absent for his remaining classes because I guess no one bothered to sign him out while wheeling him out in the fucking wheelchair.

Cancel his physio appointment. Take Eve for a haircut. Skip flu shots. Realize I didn't have time to make dinner. Feed the kids Wendy's.

I'm at my computer at the kitchen table. I'm wearing an apron. WHY THE FUCK AM I WEARING AN APRON?


Sunday, December 6, 2015

She's Funny

It's freakishly mild here today so after I went out to get groceries so Angus could make potato chowder (because we live in Bizarro World now), Eve and I took Lucy for a walk along the river trail. She got tons of love from everyone we met, one woman in particular, who said "how old is she?" We said she was just about to turn one, and the woman exclaimed "oh my god, she's so little, I thought she was only a few weeks!" Eve said "Yeah. She looks so young. Dermatologists hate her."


Thursday, December 3, 2015

V-less

I was walking Lucy just as it was starting to get dark. As we rounded the park, I heard a lonely honk from above and looked up to see a lone goose crossing the sky. Within the next ten steps I had a whole Disney movie playing in my mind about the poor goose got left behind and was flying frantically southward trying to catch up to his flock. Thankfully, before we headed back home, a little posse of six or so more flew overhead in the same direction (well, I mean, duh). Otherwise I think I would have been sad and worried all evening.

I might need more hobbies.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Illiteracy Infographic

For Giving Tuesday, Grammarly asked me to share their infographic which shows the latest statistics on and ways to battle illiteracy. As you can imagine, this cause is close to my heart. In return, Grammarly is donating $10.00 to Reading is Fundamental, which performs literacy research and support, and delivers free reading resources to places that need it most.

Happy First of December!

Then a couple years later they asked me to remove it, although they 'weren't questioning the quality of my site', just trying to comply with the Webmaster. Whatever that means. Anyway, they reminded me I have a blog, so that might be a good thing.