Weird Deal-Breakers

I was in the middle of the Foreword to a new (to me) book of zombie short stories last night. The sentence I read was something like "We live, you see, in uncertain times", and instantly I was back in a little café by the rep theatre in Hamilton, whatever it was called - the Broadway? Maybe? Anyway, I was with this guy who I was sort of friends with in university, except he made it known now and then that he wanted to be more than friends, and I wasn't sure how I felt about that. He was really smart and well-spoken, but kind of uptight and borderline pretentious. We'd have interesting conversations, but I often felt a little like I was being lectured to. He would make me mixed tapes of classical music and then tell me about why I should like most of it more than I actually did. He sent me really nice flowers. I sort of did like the way he would help me put on my coat and then surreptitiously smell the perfume on my scarf before wrapping it around my neck.

So. We had just seen Othello, the 1952 version with Orson Welles. Then we went to have tea and talk about the movie (him) and various other stuff (me). We were having a nice night and I probably would have been amenable to a good night kiss, or something.

Then he started talking about Othello and Iago, and looked at me very seriously and said "they are, you see, the same person." I'm pretty sure this was literally the first time I had ever noticed anyone use two commas so very extravagantly in casual conversation.

Aaaaand we were done.


Kim said…
It is almost one in the morning and I am trying to be quiet but I SNORTED.
StephLove said…
If I didn't know for a fact that he never lived in Canada I'd say I had the same friend in high school. I probably would have dated him if I didn't have a steady boyfriend for the last two years of h.s. Looking back, I always thought I dodged that bullet.
Alison said…
Oh, I would have been done too. Camels, straws, etc.

And I bet he didn't get why you broke up with him. Dudes like this are the reason the term "mansplainer" was invented. Although maybe he was like this with everyone? Ugh.
slow panic said…
rolling my eyes at him. ugh.
Anonymous said…

I hope he found someone. :)

One person's deal breaker is another person's dream. :P
Nicole said…
OMG. This is SO funny. It reminds me of a guy I dated who was always writing really pretentious poetry and explaining WHY this poem was better than that poem or this abstract musician was better than that one, and I needed to agree with him blah blah blah.

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