Monday, November 17, 2014

Book Fair Day One

1) I thought of Nicole every time I said "the posters are five dollars each."

2) I thought "there's no way they sent us enough Frozen posters."

3) I told one grade six girl that the pointers were (also) five dollars each and she exclaimed "OH F..." and I gasped and she finished "OH FIVE, I only have FOUR, bummer!" That was exciting.

4) One little boy came back up the counter, clasping his Pokemon book and his Ninjago book, looked at me and the librarian and said 'You guys are the BEST'. 

5) I only screwed up simple addition once. Maybe twice.

6) I ranted (probably for the dozenth time) that all the erasers should be the same price, and whoever added a .50 to ANY price should be shot. Or relieved of their position at Scholastic. Or made to work the book fair without a calculator. Don't even get me started on the 1.25 highlighters.

7) There are no cake pop erasers this year so we haven't had to tell anyone not to bite the erasers. There are, however, pencils with Groucho Marx nose/moustache combos on them, which have been held up to many, many faces. I don't bother to tell them not to do it, but it grosses me out a little. 

8) I was disproportionately cranky about the 'borrowed' pencils for the wish lists. We started the day with almost twenty pencils, and after two classes we had almost none - rotten little pencil thieves. Some teachers were awesome about sending their kids back to return the pencils, some were ridiculously defensive - "most of my kids brought their own pencils" - THAT PENCIL AREA ON THE COUNTER DIDN'T EMPTY ITSELF, SIR. When I came home to grab lunch, I took some pencils back from last year's school supplies. They all have EVE A. carved into them. I will HAVE my pencils back.

9) The woman I volunteered with last year is coming on Wednesday and she's bringing a BABY. On Wednesday I will be working the BABY FAIR, and someone else can do the math and find the fucking unicorn books.

Our book fair was blessedly boner-free
Photo by IIII Chin
10) At one point, Katy the librarian came back to the desk to check the flyer because someone had asked her if we had a book. I asked her what she was looking for and she said "Do we have Fart Powder: Who Cut the Cheese?" This was particularly marvelous because Katy has a British accent, and after she said it a few times I was on the floor laughing, and told her I have to record her saying it so I can play it back when I'm sad. P.S. We did not have Fart Powder: Who Cut the Cheese. (You're saying 'fart powder' to yourself in a British accent now, aren't you? You're welcome).

11) I used to spend hundreds of dollars when I worked the book fair, on books for my kids. Today I spent twenty, on a cool washi tape craft kit, because ninety percent of the books are too young for my kids. That made me sad, but not as sad as I thought it would. 

12) Fart powder. 


Steph Lovelady said...

How much are the posters again?

Sasha said...

Ooh, book fair? Need details. I promise I'll bring quarters.

Katherine R said...

I laughed out loud ! Thank you!... I think I have Fart Powder on the Kobo :)

Nicole said...

#4 is why I do it every year! Bloody pencil thieves - we had some *actual* thieves this year and it's so disheartening. We didn't have cake pops either but we did have cupcake eraser/ pencil sharpeners and nail polish-shaped highlighters, which were the cause of many questions (not as much as the poster cost though).

Maggie said...

You're damned right I'm saying "Do you have Fart Powder: Who Cut the Cheese" in a British accent over and over. I've selected a Hermione type accent. Will consider switching to Cockney or perhaps Scottish accents to say the same thing soon.

100% agree on erratic eraser pricing at book fair. For crying out loud, just make them all the same price - also ban entirely anything for 99 cents.

Lynn said...

So 1) fart powder, SNORT, and 2) we are also moving away in general from all toy flyers and kiddie books and stores like Gymboree and The Children's Place, and it's sad, but not sad, but sad, all at once, and 3) you and Nicole make me think I should DEFINITELY volunteer for the book fair this year (I usually just do the setup part - but then I never get to say that the posters are five dollars each, which is totally the name of my next blog).

Shan said...

I love this post so much! Fart powder! Perfection!!

Amy said...

I believe the series is entitled Doctor Proctor's Fart Powder