Family - Take Daily, as Needed

I haven't had the best week, physically or emotionally. It's the kind of thing where nothing is terribly wrong, but enough things are not quite right that it adds up to a medium-high degree of suckage. I've upped my exercise, which is great, but I need new orthotics, so the easiest exercise - walking on the treadmill - leads to pain and inflammation of my right sciatic nerve, knee, shin and ankle. My chiropractor, who orders my orthotics, is nice and close and easy to get to, but our insurance company demands a prescription every time I get orthotics - which is really stupid, my feet are fucked up and I'm never NOT going to need them, so clearly this is just the insurance company's way of making it more of a pain in the ass to file a proper claim. My doctor, who can give me the prescription, is downtown, which means I have to call the office to make the appointment (on the phone, which I don't like) and then drive downtown (which I also don't like). So I keep putting it off, and I keep being in pain, which is dumb. Also, a lot of days I just hurt all over, and I"m not sure if it IS an orthotics thing, or if I need to be changing my diet, or if I'm just getting old.

Then I had some stomach and probably gall-bladder stuff Thursday and Friday - I didn't have big plans anyway, but I definitely planned to do something a little more productive than feeling barfy and pain-stricken, sitting in my chair crying and then sleeping most of Friday. Although as sick naps go, it was actually a stellar example.

Photo by Gwendal Uguen
Yesterday we had a quiet day and I read two whole books, one of which was perfectly charming and the other of which was exactly what it was advertised to be, which normally I would love, but this time it left me feeling sort of sick and upset and wondering if I'd lost my taste for horror. The kind of mood I've been in, though, probably makes it unfair to blame the book. I went to bed and had one of the worst nights I can recall - too hot, too cold, enjoying the sound of the rain and then being annoyed by the sounds of cars throwing up hissing water with their tires, just awake, and then as I was finally drifting off, I started coughing - this cough, this goddamned motherfucker of a cough that is just AROUND all the time, lurking or making a BIG FUN SURPRISE appearance, with no apparent reason - idiopathic, isn't that sort of a wacky fun word for an absolutely enraging phenomenon? I coughed until I finally pulled off my CPAP mask in despair at around 5 a.m and flopped back on the pillow, utterly defeated.

Eve came in and cuddled with me this morning while we listened to The Vinyl Cafe, but it wasn't funny enough for her, so she kept talking, while I was trying to bask in the heartwarming whimsicality of Dave and his friend Henry. But was nice to talk with her anyway, and she told me a joke: "Why did the chicken cross the road?" "Why?" "To see the nice mother. Knock knock." "Who's there?" "The chicken! Get it?"

I got up and showered and went to fold the laundry and found another empty Blistex in the basket, which meant Angus had thrown in his pants with chapstick in the pockets AGAIN, and it was pouring rain, and everything hurt, and the day just felt like sandpaper on dry skin. Matt told me I should just relax and read, but I did that yesterday, so I took some Advil and decided to go grocery shopping, and then even if I was still in a bitchy mood at least we'd have milk and bread and lunch stuff. On a whim, I asked Eve if she wanted to come, and she said yes.

We took the golf umbrella. We splashed in puddles. She took advantage of the Associated Privileges of Accompanying the Grocery Shopping Parent (got to buy cookies and pick out her favourite shampoo). I saw yet another person that I knew I knew, and we said hi, how are you, doesn't this weather suck donkey balls, and then the woman walked away and Eve said "who was that?" and I said "I have NO idea" - this is happening with distressing frequency lately. I said we needed coconut milk and she asked if that meant coconuts were mammals. It was more fun than grocery shopping alone. I told her, no matter what, not to let me go through the self checkout station. She said she would push the cart back to the truck while I held the umbrella, and then sang the Wonder Pets "teamwork" song.

Photo by pcutler
We came home and made Matt unload the groceries so our hair wouldn't get wet. Then we all went to Boston Pizza for dinner - Matt's idea, since Angus's birthday is on Tuesday and we're having my parents over for chicken curry (and therefore not going out that night). We took the Rav 4, in which we have Sirius Satellite Radio for a month or something. Eve and I always put it on the Billy Joel channel. On the way home, as we were walking to the truck, Angus asked if we could listen to something else, so I told him to sit in the front seat and find something. I got in the back seat with Eve, and Matt said to Angus "women in the back seat where they belong!". Angus gave him a "are you on glue?" look and said "you're on your own, bro, I'm just here for the music". He switched around stations while Eve and I sang "Honesty" and "Movin' Out" loudly in the back seat. He finally settled on Metallica and said "oh yeah. This is my jam." Matt said "no one who listens to this would EVER say that", which was funny, and he would have been golden if he'd stopped there, but instead he continued "you wanna get beaten on, just go to a Metallica concert and say 'I'm gonna get me some jam on'", whereupon we all howled with laughter.

So yeah. I really need to make a doctor's appointment. But in the meantime, my family is a pretty decent placebo.


Kim said…
Man, that is a lot of hard stuff all at once. (The orthotic prescription ritual alone would have had my hair standing on end.) It was so good to read the fun and silliness at the end of this post I actually sighed a bit out loud.

Sending so much love your way. SO MUCH.
Sarah McCormack said…
ok.....forget everything else..... there is a Billy Joel channel??? amazeballs!!!!
Hannah said…
I just love you and your family. And I get it on the orthotics thing. I walked around in agony for eight months before I got a prescription for orthotics. Then I walked around in further agony for another six months WHILE I HAD THE PRESCRIPTION IN MY PURSE, putting off making an appointment with the pedorthist for bloody ages.

Then I finally got them, and they are wonderful and life-transforming. I waited another two months before I submitted a claim to the insurance company... which was then rejected because I forgot to include the original prescription which is now a fucking year old.

So. Yeah. Did I mention I love you? I do. I hope this week is so very much better for you in every way.
Nicole said…
I love you.

I wish I had Sirius just for the Billy Joel channel. I only recently found out such a marvel existed. I LOVE Billy Joel with giant puffy hearts.

Sorry you were so sick this weekend. I know how much a difference orthodics make for my husband, and so I wish it weren't so weirdly difficult for you to get them. I guess that's how insurance companies ARE but seriously.

"This is my JAM". God, I love that
StephLove said…
I think dinner with Matt, Angus, & Eve would cheer me up, too. I hope you get the orthotics soon. I completely get how when you feel bad everything you need to do to feel better seems completely impossible.

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