Thursday, April 10, 2014

Thank Goodness My Head is Attached

Last night Matt and Angus were out at baseball and I was in the kitchen cooking a bunch of stuff while Eve was reading on the couch. I told her I was just going to go upstairs and wash my face and then we'd have dinner. I took off my apron and threw it over the top of the couch. I kicked off my sandals which I wear in the kitchen because they have orthotics in them and it's better for my feet and back. I walked upstairs and into my bedroom and into the bathroom, stuck a scrunchy in my hair and washed my face. Then I reached for my glasses, because I always wash my face, dry my face, then wash and dry my glasses before putting them back on.

No glasses.

I looked around, confused. I always put them down to the left of the sink on the counter. I moved the little baskets that have my nail clippers and hair clips and stuff in them. No glasses. I looked to the right of the sink, where my hair dryer and straightener live. No glasses.

So now I'm totally confused and also blind so it's really hard to LOOK for my glasses. I go out into my bedroom and check the bed in case I did something really weird and threw them on the bed before going into the bathroom. I go back and recheck the bathroom counter.
Photo from Flickr by kenny_lex

Finally I call down to Eve that I'm having a really embarrassing problem and ask her to come help me look. She can't find them either. I'm wondering if I have to put in my contacts to look for my glasses and feeling like I'm flat-out losing my mind.

Finally I go back downstairs. My glasses are sitting on the end of the kitchen counter. I guess when I divested myself of my apron and sandals I took them off too in the orgy of stuff-taking-off and didn't realize I was walking up the stairs blind. I guess I should be glad I didn't accidentally get naked.

Later on, Eve decided she was going to start watching Community on Netflix since she was done Merlin and her cousin Charlotte loves Community. Then she discovered that Community was no longer on Netflix and was pissed off and decided on Bones instead. Except when she came down to tell me, I searched Netflix on my computer and Community was right there. I asked her how she was spelling it and she was spelling it with a U instead of the first O. "How embarrassing for you", I said.

She came over and looked at my computer sheepishly. Then she pointed at me and said "look lady, you lost your glasses, so we're keeping this between us".

Unfortunately for her, she doesn't realize that after you have a couple of kids, embarrassment kind of becomes foreign territory.

8 comments:

Nicole said...

Haha, I've totally done that. WHERE THE HELL ARE MY KEYS? Oh. In my pocket.

Lynn said...

Hee! I've been there - I'm blind without my glasses and it happens at least once a month that I have to call someone else in the family to find them for me.

Also: word to that last sentence. I cannot believe how non-embarassable I have become since half of the medical staff in Ottawa saw my lady parts. Everything else is EASY.

Maggie said...

Truer words than that last sentence have seldom been spoken. My mom used to embarrassing the hekc out of me on the regular as a teenager. Now, almost nothing embarrasses me. I haven't gone to the bathroom alone without interruption in 10 years, I've had to yell things at my kids in public that I never even imagined I'd have to say in private, I've sung loudly with both children in public places, and danced to I'm Sexy and I Know It at the grocery store with Youngest. Really, embarrassment is a thing moms don't seem to get to have the luxury of having. Next I'll just ease into kooky old lady territory.

Maria said...

I am notorious in my home for losing things. And I don't even have a good excuse for how my car keys ended up in the freezer.

Steph Lovelady said...

I have two pairs of reading glasses and I could use three, given how often I am taking them off and leaving them in strange places.

Collette antaya said...

I spent 3 minutes staring at the photo you attached trying to figure out why you put a photo of a tree in here....maybe I need glasses.

Amy said...

My favourite is searching for my phone while holding it in my hand.

We've been watching Community on Netflix and very much enjoying it.

Ms. G said...

I can't tell you how many times I find myself walking around wondering why I can't see...