Thesauruses (thesauri?) tend to make me surly. First of all, I have this irrational feeling that if I use a thesaurus, it's kind of cheating. It's not really a hundred percent my own work any more if I have to get a word consult. But more than that, doesn't it often turn out that using a thesaurus doesn't really work? I was writing an assignment and looking for a synonym for 'celebrate', as in 'celebrate diversity', but I'd already used 'celebrate', and didn't want to use it four more times. But 'beat the drum for diversity' really didn't seem appropriate. Neither did 'blow off steam' or 'carouse' or 'ceremonialize'. And 'drink to'? Yes, my marketing assignment was really going to fly with my brilliant plan to organize a book club for elementary school students wherein we all 'drink to diversity!'
So yeah, this course. It's called "Library Marketing and Advocacy". Except it just started being called that - last term, before they reworked the entire goddamned curriculum for Library and Information Technology Diploma, it was called "Client Services". I looked at this course title back when I started the program, and I thought "that course is going to be a walk in the park where I just write nice little papers about courtesy and treating clients with respect and delivering great customer service and bullshit like that". And I bet it WOULD HAVE BEEN if I'd taken it a couple of term ago. Bugger. BUGGER! As it is, my husband had to talk me down off a ledge last week as I was starting this assignment, because the only thing that freaks me out more than computer database work is anything that smacks of (shudder) SALES. I could not sell water in the desert. I could not sell potato chips to stoned people. I could not sell pasties to Rihanna. I do not possess the Marketing Gene.
And then people hurt my feelings on Twitter. And then people hurt my feelings on Blogger. And then people on Facebook made fun of string cheese, and people, the fact that I can have a cheese string and fifteen almonds at three-thirty is the only thing preventing me from committing shawarmageddon or a cheeseburgerpocalypse all over my Weight Watcher points right now, so just BACK THE FUCK OFF MY DELIGHTFULLY STRINGABLE DAIRY PRODUCT, WILL YA?
There's a package of chicken breasts in the fridge. I think if I have to cook it I'm actually going to kill myself.
Hannah's Surly Thursday post can be found here. So proud to be Spreading the Surly...