Thoughts on People Watching in LaGuardia Airport Ten Days Ago

-The sari is a really good look for travelling. I should try it. Maybe not.

-Blow your nose. For Christ's sake, blow your nose, that's disgusting, didn't your mother teach you anything?

-She's really got that whole casual-hiker thing down. Hair pulled up, vest over shirt, slouchy socks and running shoes, shorts... wow, she must be almost fifty and her legs are really great. Except - wow, her legs are really hairy. Like really, really hairy. It doesn't even grow straight, it's like big clouds of curly hair around her legs. It's like her legs have beards. I thought I was okay with women not shaving their legs but this is really quite disturbing. Look away. Look away. Look away. I can't look away! Oh thank god, she's leaving.

-Wow. Her hair looks like a shiny wave of chocolate fountain. Her shirt is the colour of paprika. Her pants are the colour of cinnamon. And those shoes really shouldn't work, but they totally do. What colour green is that? It's not emerald. It's not mint. It's brighter than mint and lighter than emerald. It's... it's the exact colour green that cantaloupe would be if cantaloupe was green instead of orange. It's possible I need a snack.

-Stop texting while you're walking, you're about to bump into that.... *snort*. Told you.

-That girl is eating again. The one in the faded holey jeans and the v-neck t-shirt with the French writing and the bicycle on it. She's been eating for the last hour and she's thin and gorgeous, okay, don't be bitter and unkind. And she won't just sit down, she keeps shuffling her feet and half-dancing and stretching and I'm glad she's not over here because that would get really..... crap, she's coming over here because I'm beside the garbage can and she's going to peel her orange over the garbage can. And I'm trying to focus on my book but I can't because I can see her feet out of the corner of my eye going step together step apart, step together step apart and oh my god I wish she'd stand still or FUCK OFF OUT OF HERE BEFORE I TAKE HER OUT WITH AN INJURY......

-I'm going to get a snack.


clara said…
I hear you on the saris.

The rest -- well, holy hell can I ever hear your head and does it ever sound like my head.

I rarely notice people when I'm out. I am usually in my own insular world.

I love the look of saris - especially the extra sparkly ones.
Anonymous said…
Hilar!!!!! And I know exactly want colour of green that is, at first I didn't think I would but I totally do, that my friend is skillful writing! Brill! Also I'm writing in abbrevs because I've already had to much coffee on account of me still painting that effing bathroom.
Nicole said…
I had that feeling about a woman who was wearing a tank top and who had super hairy armpits. It was mesmerizing.
Sandra said…
She's probably that skinny because she never sits still. Be grateful you weren't her mother trying to raise that. I have one of those, and I'm currently ignoring him until school starts so I don't injure him.
StephLove said…
Is that green the color of honeydew perhaps?
Patti said…
Love this! Your descriptions are so vivid and hysterical.
Julie said…
She was probably a meth addict and was starting to come down. :)

I want more pele watching posts please.
Denise Nielsen said…
Brilliant and hilarious commentary as always. I wish I was going to an airport just to see what sort of things I can hear:)

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