Friday, June 22, 2012

This post is about an entirely theoretical couple, NOT US

The Wife is having a fairly non-productive day, fooling around on the computer and trying to clean all the crap off the dining room table, which is really frustrating and depressing because there isn't a good place for all the crap to go, and it only highlights all the other things that still have crap on them, so she gives it up as completely futile and goes out to garden. She starts to put on sunscreen everywhere, then realizes it would make more sense to just put sunscreen on the ridiculous square sunburn she got while watching her daughter horseback riding, to perhaps marginally lessen the freaky embarrassing tan lines for when she goes out tonight.

The Wife is back inside and checking twitter, when The Husband comes home early from work because he was miserable at the office and thought a change of location might make him less ineffectual for the afternoon.

Since she needs to shower off the sunscreen at some point anyway and the husband being home makes watching Luther less fun, The Wife decides she might as well go for a power walk. She tells The Husband this, then walks upstairs to the bedroom and starts stripping to put on walking clothes.

She pauses and thinks, "wait. Need exercise. Husband is home. Kids not due for a couple of hours. Most of clothes already off. When was the last time we..." and yells down the stairs "Hey! Wanna have sex?"

The Husband (who has arrived on the bottom step with admirable speed) says "Uh...well if... are you... is it.... sure!" (which is smart, because sometimes he totally shoots himself in the foot by saying stuff like 'well I thought you were tired' or 'are you sure?' in which case The Wife says 'okay, you're right, never mind').

The Wife gets some exercise and the sunscreen gets showered off. The Husband doesn't get any work done for the afternoon, but is fairly satisfied with how things work out nonetheless.

Life with kids. All romance, all the time. Theoretically. Just what I hear.

14 comments:

Nicole said...

Hee.

My husband is famous for asking "Are you in the game?" IT IS OUR CODE AND NOW YOU KNOW IT.

Nan | Wrath Of Mom said...

You saucy lil' minx!

Hannah said...

Love it. *giggle*

Magpie said...

Heh.

Kelly Quinones Miller said...

The husband our house would be up those stairs in lightning speed. The only time he has any urgency is when sex is offered up w/o the need for seduction or foreplay.

Kelly Quinones Miller said...

The husband our house would be up those stairs in lightning speed. The only time he has any urgency is when sex is offered up w/o the need for seduction or foreplay.

slowasfranklin said...

That gives a whole new meaning to "work from home"!

Shan said...

theoretically... I love this post

clara said...

Bow. Chicka. Bow.
I admire your theoretical industriousness.

Tweepwife said...

Theoretically, I can relate to this post. I love the finesse in the "hey! You wanna have sex?". Nobody ever does that on the movies. They are definitely theoretical.

Pauline said...

Glad that the "theoretical couple" had some fun! ;)

StephLove said...

I'm glad it everything worked out so well, or could have, theoretically.

StephLove said...

BTW, Partner has the day off tomorrow and child the younger has a morning day camp and I'd been thinking about what we could do, theoretically, FOR DAYS, before I remembered that we have another child who will be home then. Send him to his grandmother's for a week (he came home Sunday) and I just forget he exists apparently.

Sasha said...

Snort